My friend, in life there is nothing to be happy or unhappy about. We go on living, thinking that the world is supposed to be a logical and consistent place. Well, that is not the case. All misery comes from our idea that the world is true.

We assume that if the world is true then we are also true. This self-importance is the main reason for our feelings of depression, sadness, emptiness, and anxiety.

In this life I'm having a simple goal... to live it without self-concerns. And I'm doing pretty good job in that. True, I must be more disciplined, do my daily practice according to my schedule and pay attention to live more healthy, smoke less, drink less and exercise more.

The most important thing is morning ashtanga half primary series practice. I mean, what else I have? Something more important going? Like what? My plans? What plans? I have no plans, neither short term nor long term. My career? I have no interest improving myself...

I have no big aspirations, I just want to be healthy and look good. I love my girlfriend with all my heart. I would like to be with her more but that is not possible. 

She has sent the papers for Canadian visa and if everything is okay she will come at the end of April for two weeks. I will take her to Mayan Riviera, Mexico for a nice vacation. I am excited to spend time with her.
Right now, yoga practice is all that I have. It keeps me in a good physical and mental condition. And believe me my friends when I say - the shitty times are here. You need to be mentally stable. Watch for your sanity.

The roadmap for year 2022 going as I've predicted, lockdown restrictions,  the supply chain break downs, inventory shortages. According to the roadmap of the globalists, it is yet to come here in Ontario, but it is coming slowly in different provinces... the large economic instability, deployment of military personnel into major metropolitan areas as well as all major roadways to establishment of travel checkpoints, restriction of travel and movement...

They can kiss my ass, In life, you are forced into a series of activities and experiences. That makes you a human being, a physical body with a name. By the time, early in your life, you pick up your beliefs and you form a sense of duties... Your seemingly purposeful actions follows one another and there is no end to them and no escape. You are lost in your experiences... yup - you are living your life.

Dazzled by the superficial worldly events, inventions and discoveries, that made you lazy, you have no explanations for anything. With your attitude you paint the picture of your life without noticing that the same thing is repeated over and over again.
People of my age are busy with their work, overweight, under all kinds of stress, very serious and already dead inside. They live life barely alive. Let them follow the government, sports and politics, let them watch TV and news at 11 PM and let them get a bottle of vine and the sleeping pills after that.
You see, the confidence goes down after hitting 50 and by age of 60, people are inactive and very likely to have some kind of sickness. I have decided not to count myself in this general population of people. Except for the age, I have nothing in common with them.

I hate to say this but the more I look at people the more I am ashamed. I'm not buying it. Lockdown, masks, restrictions in order to save me, save me from what?
Those big houses, big cars, laziness and sluggishness. All that will be gone by 2030. Total economic crash is inevitable, the basic income is guaranteed.

You are guided by the feeling of your personal happiness. In relation to that you try to organize your behavior accordingly. And it all goes well until you start questioning your beliefs, when you start to see them through, when something terrific happens and your experiences lose its charm.

Life is your dream, it is your intense love for experiences, your lust for living. In spite of all this closeness and fondness, this game has the end. All the experiences with their peculiarities will vanish and your play will finish.

But there is no reason to brag about the lockdown and pandemic. It will never go its going to stay with us until completely destroy us. How about a little optimism?
I'm 57 years old guy with a girlfriend and there is nothing to worry about, nothing to think about, nothing to be angry about or hope for better things to come, whatever. I slowly started to understand the reason why I have chosen to be born this time. It is interesting times.

I am witnessing the fall of humanity as it was in 20th century. And it is a good thing, the mankind went away far from its source, they made this planet to be one big shopping mall. The pandemic was in preparation many years and now it is rolling out in front of our eyes so fast and so precise.
Women are more scared about this pandemic than men. They are taking care of kids, family and dogs. The lack of sex, the hormonal changes in late 40s and the end of menstrual cycle make them edgy and unstable.  

People see life like a roller coaster of ups and downs, chronic search for happiness, dissatisfaction, always pretending they are happy and successful. They slip into their life the way a foot slip in the shoe. 

They decide nothing, there is no choice, they live life by government instructions. They don't know any better, and they don't know the reason why they don't know any better.

We are born in this world and since that moment we are heading towards death, whether we may like it, dislike it, believe it, disbelieve it, we may be atheist, theist, following this religion, that religion, we may claim we are an incarnation, whatever we may, we are not spared, the death is awaiting us.

But somehow people forgot all that, they want to become rich, to be famous, to be smart and that is causing a feeling of lack so they are seeking something to destroy that feeling. This makes them to always look forward into the future.
Either they think about past or imagine future but they miss the present moment.

I have come to the point of understanding and I openly say - Hey, wait a minute, this life is nuts! I want to get out of this merry-go-round circle of daily waking up, working and sleeping again. Work is not everything in life, it brings money, that's it. I work as much as I need to pay my bills. 
I am trying to be aware, to hold onto I AM sense, to be in presence and to be present, to observe myself I want to be aware of my interests, thoughts and emotions. I have daily retrospective, quiet periods of simple awareness, the presence. I have started to meditate, generally to have some quiet, alone time.

I am so sorry for married people. They will never get full understanding of life if they keep holding to the spouse. One thing that I've learned in this life is to never get married again.
The un-examined life, said Socrates, is not worth living. That is a serious shit. People are offended by that. They rather like watching life of others, reading biographies, documentaries and various gossip garbage on the internet.
Socrates meant that the stagnated, home-work-home, repetitive, married life is not worth living. He is saying that most people's lives are not worth the bother. They don't understand, the universe is an interactive game, it will give them whatever they want. That is how it works. It can't be otherwise. They don't have to be worthy, but they have to know what it is that they want. 

I am here and now in this precise time on this precise place because I want to. The endless cycle of accumulating wealth, knowledge and experiences is finished for me. I have stopped believing that my ultimate goal, the main purpose of my life, is to be happy, with some kind of a permanent, uninterrupted happiness.

Unfortunately, no such thing exists. Wanting something that does not exist is the root of problems. So I just observe without any intention to change things as they are. The life is a product of consciousness and I am prior to that.

These are the first words of truth - not truth in quotation marks but truth in the real meaning of the word; truth which is not merely theoretical, not simply a word, but truth that can be realized.

Recognize that everything, including the sense of “I” is false. See that the world is but a show, glittering and empty. Realize that all is nothing.
Check every desire and see where they're leading you. See that all objects including your relation to mother, father, children, friends etc. are untrue. Understand that all your relationships are ready to fool you. See your own meaninglessness.

When you see those things in real, for yourself,  you will collapse in fear and confusion and you will acquire the greatest virtue of this world... humility. Until that happens to you, your spirituality is all theoretical, irrelevant.

I'm not an advanced yoga practitioner, a fitness teacher, or a healthy diet guru, not even a great blog writer. I write here what I'm interested in at present moment. I have no advice for you. Do whatever fuck you want to do. As for myself, I will continue to take care...

Everyone wants to be somebody, and no one wants to be a nobody. You are frustrated in your quest for significance. The present social system of elitism push you to "succeed" in life and for the majority, the life become just wanting. Stop wanting, start living.

Good luck :)