My place, cozy 550 sq feet apartment at High Park, Toronto

Thursday, April 14, 2022, it feels like Friday, tomorrow is a day off. It is almost 4 am and I'm so excited. My darling is coming next week and the adventure starts. Exactly in seven days I will be waiting for her at the airport. Oh my God, how much I want to see her!

I am re-starting my life from the scratch. 

Until Friday, I will do yoga practice 6 times a week, in accordance with ashtanga rules. I will continue going to the gym, I have started changing my physical appearance. 

In next three weeks, I don't want to watch money spending, let it go, let the life be, I want to spin this life again and get dizzy from the happiness, joy and laugh.


Be here and now! I am not getting any younger


Yesterday was a long day for me. I accompanied my daughter for her surgery. A lot of anticipation and worries about it but all went okay. She was in pain after the procedure, she takes pain killers and she is better right now. She stays with my ex-wife, the recovery takes about a week. 

Yesterday morning, I left my car to Canadian Tire and they changed oil and rotated tires. I walked about 3.5 km to my place and again back there when I picked up the car. 

I bought cleaning stuff I'm preparing myself for big task starting tomorrow. I am going to clean entire apartment from bottom up. 


I like how I look. I feel so young


It is a quiet morning, 4:30 am, light rain, 13 C, an average spring temperature for Toronto. I'm calm, aware, confident. I feel so happy, I modified a poem from Jose Gorostiza:


Between the fingers years fly,
I've loved,
they loved me,
slowly, I've died in their memory,

I disappeared like snow in the spring,
my images went into abyss of light.

Perhaps, in their eyes,
I'm still alive,
without me knowing about it,

like a dead star, faked by its very light,
a light that shines,
hiding,
its infinite catastrophe!!!

I've nothing else to say in this post, I'll not write the blog, for a while. Just like you, I'm reading this blog and I found that sometimes there is nothing to be said. The life is here to be lived.

It is true, I'm living a lie, a hilarious cartoon, so be it. I like it. I'm not living according to your expectations. I live without judging and it is wonderful. I don't take myself seriously, so I do not take you seriously too. 

 

Daily yoga and gym do the magic!!!
 

Someone, somewhere will always disapprove my words regardless of how hard I try. So I've stopped trying to please you. I believe in myself living this life as the best as I can truly not giving a fuck about your opinions. 

I have realized fully that I am nothing. And it is liberating and refreshing and it's simply the best and most loving thing I can ever do for myself.

 

Time is for an adventure

The first vacation of 2022 starts in a week. My girlfriend is coming on Friday and we are going to Mayan Riviera, Mexico on Tuesday. It's going to be how we make it.