To "turn up" is to get drunk and/or high, party, and forget about life for awhile. To "turn down" is to get serious, go to work, and deal with reality. So why to turn down, if there's nothing to turn down for?

Oh yes, the holidays are just around corner, Christmas, the New Year is coming...

I don't know a lot, but I will tell you something - in the New Year (as in life, in general), what you really want, what you are really working on, will happen to you.

And know something immediately - the New Year will not bring you to a better and happier place. No one will come to magically save you! As always, everything is up to you and everything depends on you. It's simple as that.

Do you really believe that one day in a year will magically change the situation you are in and bring you a better life? No, your boss will not give you a salary raise and stop looking for happiness in wrong places. 

At least I will do it. I've stopped expecting a better life to come, neither from God, nor from government, nor from other people. 

We were doomed in the last two years. Where and how did we lost the compass of our life? How much did we drink that we've managed to destroy our dreams? It happened overnight? Our petty self-love made disaster connection with our self-importance creating us so obedient, fearful and weak.

These are just some of the questions that come to my mind this evening. I want to break this spell. I want to awake from this nightmare.

We exist in a reality that is full of ridiculous and tragic nonsense. There is no actual reasoning behind it. Metastases of pain and suffering, anger and stress, a complaining primitivism are causes of the chaotic collapse of our mentality. 

Is it life admirable? Because it does not require any work that we all resort to. It is spontaneous, because it is a natural expression of our desires. It's unique for everyone, because everyone is absolutely unique in this world. 

I have already started to reject everything superficial, irrelevant, transient, short-lived from "my" life. I have discovered the essence of happiness. It's simplicity and that is ultimate indicator of free life. 

In 2022, I will continue on this path, getting rid of complications, entanglements, exaggerations leaving the simple sense of presence to guide me.