I'm ready!!!

My dear friends, I'm going to Serbia. I will be gone from this blog until mid-January. I wish you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 

So many things are changed back home since the last time I was there. It has passed more than 2 years. I've missed my niece and nephew so I want to spend time with them. 

In the last 25 years my sister was always waited for me at the airport but this time she'll not be there. 

I used to spend all of my time back home in a small city I was born to but not now. This time I have reserved a hotel in Belgrade which will be my home for next couple of weeks. From there I'll go to visit my father and other relatives. 

I'm going to finally introduce a woman I was texting on Viber for more than a year. Of course I'm excited. I want to see her and to hold her hand. I'm hoping the chemistry will be there, when we meet.

We will be together in the New Year's Eve. I have reserved a famous restaurant at Skadarlija in Belgrade. Later in January, I will spend Christmas with my father, niece and nephew.

Airport Pearson is waiting for me 😀

Today is Thursday, December 23, 2021 I have just finished my 10th yoga practice in December and this will be the last practice in 2021. In total 146 practices, a bit better than last year but still well under my original goal of 183 practices.

For next year I have to be more attuned to yoga. It is very hard, long practice but I had to do it. I'll be 57. The old age is already showing on my skin, on belly and some general sense of tiredness caused by inactivity and bad habits.

Besides daily yoga, I want also to do regular gym exercise and do lots of walking.

Yoga practice for 2021 is finished

Next year will be 20 years since I started out on the conscious spiritual journey of self-discovery. In January 2002 I made a decision, the one that led me to the life-changing events. I decided to become a saint. I still strive for it.

After all these years of dedicated and honest spiritual search for the answer of "who am I?", after reading tons of spiritual literature and practicing meditation, I had an expectation that heavens will somehow open up with bliss and love, carrying me up into celestial glory. My expectation never materialized.

In these years, I had a lot of unusual spiritual experiences. At one point at time in 2008, I had a period of clarity, it was the time without thoughts. I did not grasped any truth then, there were no explanations, it was just simple aware clarity. When there was no feeling of "I" or "me" I saw (without eyes) a blue universe with white planets and I was That. I had the same experience couple weeks ago.

Experiences come and go, I am not attaching any importance to them, I take the experiences just like any other, the passing show. I am after clearly discovering, without any doubt, that "self" does not exists. 

This year I have stopped seeking anything because there is nothing to be found. Now I just do yoga and try to be humble and aware in interaction with others. That's all.

The photo of 2021

Despite appearances to the contrary, nothing is done by me, for I'm just and only a phantom, a dream-figure. I as "I" cannot wake up, simply I'm not there at all as such.

Living is dreaming. I as a 'dreamer' identified with my body and mind, snore loudly. I am the dreamer of myself in the world of my own creation, and my body is just an appearance.

I'm no entity so  I can not awaken, it is my identification with thoughts that causes the illusion of my existence.

Awakening is disappearing, dissolving, vanishing of "me" as a person. Awakening is the dissolution of appearance, the evaporation of "my" dream. Awakening is the dis-appearance of "my" world.

Nothing can help me to awaken and yet there is awakening in the place of here and at the time of now.

My friends, Happy New Year!!!

See you next year.