I've hit a point in my life where I feel dissatisfied with my routines and choices. It seem as though my life just isn't what it used to be. This doesn't necessarily mean that I have “no life”, perhaps I've just lost touch with parts of my life that spark my interest and motivation. 

I experience this dissatisfaction after coming back from my last vacation. Over there I was surrounded with my friends and family. I went out every single night and had wonderful time. All that is gone upon my return.


Like a hamster on a wheel my days are so boring

I brush my teeth, take a shower, drink morning coffee, and then work, and work, all day, sometimes well in the night, then I go to bed, and repeat all this next day.

I wonder how I can keep going and keep everything together when it feels like I'm doing nothing, going nowhere, and living some life I wasn't meant for. Unfortunately I've started to live a life waiting for things to come.

I'm waiting the end of April wondering what to do in the meantime. The present moment seems to have no point. I'm doing things, but there is an empty feeling somewhere inside myself that never seems to fill. It's a feeling of some undefined sadness.

Regardless of cold weather and this work from home thing, I am fully aware that all this is my choice. If that is so, lets make another choice. I want to live more in the world and less in my head.


Next month I will be 57 fucking years old

My friends are talking about politics, about inflation, neo liberal's and corporate fascisms, they repeat what they've read, also they follow sport's and watch Netflix. It's seems they have a life of some sort but those things are for the ignorant ones.

In the last post I put 4 basic rules of my behavior and I follow that. But that is all abstract things, concepts, things of the mind. I need something concrete. I need action, physical body movement that will lead me to the end of thinking.

I have come to an understanding that physical activity is very important (if not) the most important thing in life. The old age comes when the physical activity stops. Looking at children I see they move, jump and going around, all the time...


Let's today be the turning point of my life 

I am going to increase daily physical activities, yoga exercise, weights lifting, walking. I will spend less hours on computer and I will work effectively, not more than, 6 hours a day. Lets from today start a new life, the life of movements. 

Regardless of the weather I will go out every day. Daily yoga practice. Daily gym exercise. I will spend less time texting messages on my phone.

Today on February 18, 2022, I am starting something new.