Suddenly I have found myself so busy. The Conversion Project at my job is in full swing and I'm in control of things. The production implementation is in September so I have not much time to complete it. On other hand I have started preparation for the move to Malta.

I've rewritten my resume but I'm still not satisfied with it. I need to work on it during weekend. I would like to contact a job-search agency in Malta and to deal with them only. I'm looking into a Senior Developer, a Full Stack Developer position with Java, Angular, REST, Oracle, Mongo DB etc... I'm looking to find a full time position with minimum 60K euros per year.  It is possible but it won't be easy.

I put my car for sale today. I want to sell it, I don't need it. 

Slowly I have to settle all my affairs here in Canada. I don't believe I will ever return to live in Canada anymore. Once I find the job in Malta I will try to be the best in my field, my plan is to stay there until retirement.


I read today the following text message:

When anxiety catches me, I immediately think if there is a trigger, if there is a reason for anxiety, fear, if there is a real danger, or if it is just a game of my mind and soul.

It is usually a subconscious response to a reality full of threats: from financial crisis, disease, job loss, war, poverty, environmental catastrophe, climate change, nuclear explosion, meaningful diseases to reduce world population...

Then, there is the fear of denying love, if someone imagines something… if we tell the truth, and the other side turns to attack us... fear of loneliness...

There is also the fear that one can only succeed by manipulation and trick, and we can't do that...

Fear that someone will burn us down or slander us...

These are all situations that we experience and survive !!!

I didn't laugh reading these words. I was rather sad. This shows deep identification of a writer with his body and mind. It's typical example of ignorance of what is. Unfortunately, the writer is not alone, many people, including some I know, take things in a wrong way.

The conquest of paradise is a victory over mind

Rene Descartes, the father of western philosophy, has equated of fundamental being with thinking. He is famous for saying “I think therefore I am”. Unfortunately, no other phrase more clearly describes the fall of humanity than this one. 

Strong mind is the mind who has a just few, necessary thoughts, it is pure awareness. A weak mind is a mind with a lot of thoughts, most of them useless. It is the weak mind that is a source of all fears and consequently the experience of the world.

Within the prison of your world appears a man who tells you that the world of painful contradictions, which you have created, is neither continuous nor permanent and is based on a misapprehension. He pleads with you to get out of it, by the same way by which you got into it. You got into it by forgetting what you are and you will get out of it by knowing yourself as you are. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

You are not in the prison, you are the prison itself  

You have taken thinking for yourself.

Look at your life. It is driven by your idea that there is a problem, and your search for a solution is itself an even greater problem than the one what you're trying to solve. Well, what you resist persists.

Do you understand your mind, its proper role and its purpose?

All your crisis are born of the limited and conditioned way in which you think, the way you feel and experience life. Your rationalism and "common sense" have robbed you of your ability to recognize and experience the life as it is.

You have never before had access to so much knowledge. But you have gone deep into the material world, finding the perfect house, perfect car, the perfect shoes, but you have never been more limited, more ignorant of who you are. You simply do not understand the mechanism by which you create you own suffering.

Your thinking has created your world

Without your ego there is no thinking. Also, there is no credit cards debts, crisis in relationships, problems at work... These external things in your world reflect a serious inner crises; you don’t know who you are.

As you're now, you're completely identified with "me" identity, consumed by fears and are cut off from your true nature. Your race, religion, country, political affiliation, any group that you belong to, all reinforce your "me" identity.

Have you noticed that all your "belongings" are actually limitation on yourself. Consider, different people experience completely different thoughts and emotional reactions to the very same events. Pay attention, heaven and hell, are two opposite views on the same events and they are both in you. What do you want to experience is up to you and this makes your world. 

External circumstances don’t have to affect your inner world in any particular way

Examine your life honestly, without lying to yourself. Are you able to stop your robotic, repetitive life if you want to? Can you stop seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, are you addicted to certain foods and hobbies? 

Are you constantly complaining, judging and blaming, criticizing yourself and others? Does your mind incessantly seek out stimulus, or are you completely fulfilled just being in silence? Do you react to how people think about you? Are you seeking approval and positive reinforcement?

You experience your life the same way today as they will tomorrow and a year from now, and ten years from now. Begin to observe your robot-like nature, be aware of that. Recognize the depth of the problem. You are the prison and you are completely and utterly prisoner.

You don't see the world, you only see your own thoughts. Your mind distracts you, entertains you, keeps you endlessly doing, consuming, grasping, in a cycle of craving and aversion with constantly changing forms, keeping you in a deep slumber.

The fears are not the cause of things, they the consequence of your mind, of thoughts, the consequence of your own choice.