I live my life twice. The first time in a moment, as things happen, and then the second time, here on my blog, writing in a  retrospective. 

I have been searching for spiritual truth for 20 years. I have done it all: yoga, meditation, self-observation, self-remembrance mindful living, vypasana, zazen... you name it. I have read more than 400 books about spirituality, Buddhism, zen, Hinduism, Christianity and Hasidism... and I have concluded one thing - there are no explanations.

Let there be no excuses and no regrets because life gives no explanation. Don't feel frustrating. You like having things explained, you enjoy having things explained.

Getting older, you depend more and more on it, to the point that if something have no explanation you tend to become anxious, even fearful. Basically, you want words, your life depends on the words.

There is no need for explanation, excuses, regrets and endless questioning. You want the ultimate explanation. What is death, what happens when you die? The life leads to nowhere. Life, death, it makes no difference at all, so just be happy... right now! 

In the present moment, there is no problem, never was, and never will be. Dedicate your life to freedom, let go of your mind, throw away questions, and let be. Whatever is, let it be as it is. 

No need to resist, always do your best and forget the outcome. Wanting something always brings suffering. When you get exactly what you want, you'll suffer because you can't hold on to it for a long time because nothing ever stays the same. If you get what you don't want, you'll suffer even more. 

You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken. - Anais Nin

Wake up! If you know for that you have a deadly illness - if you have only certain time left to live - would you waste your time on stupid "what if" trash! Well, I'm telling you... you have a terminal illness called the birth and you're on your way to death. You don't have much time left. No one does! 

Be happy right now, without reason - or you never be happy. Take things as they are, no explanation needed. If you can truly see things just as they are, with no interference from your cluttered mind, then no explanations will be forthcoming. None will be needed.

Explanations are for uninteresting, apologetic people. It's for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live and die.