I have to slow down and consider all options for my future. I've started to look at this world from the standpoint of desires, a way too much. I want to be with my girlfriend but I cannot go with my head through a wall. I need to cool down a bit. 

Harmony between myself (my inner world, my thinking process) and the world is happiness. But when I identify with the world, with events and people, well, that causes suffering. 

People define "love" in different ways but for me "love" is when my sense of distinction and separation with a particular person is absent. 

Everyone is so selfish, I'm a selfish guy too. Not in material regards, I can spend large amounts for gifts but that's not it, the bottom line is, I'm cold and selfish. 

My sense of self, by its nature, knows itself only. For lack of experience whatever it touches it takes to be that. This is a real cause of depression and the lack of energy, this self-identification with the limited things.

Desires for sensations, craving for the constant activity, especially for sex and gratification, for something else from ordinary, these desires as such, however strong, do not cause suffering. It is the mind bewildered by wrong ideas that fears loss of imagined possessions that suffers when frustrated.

Life is so full of contradictions because it serves to break down this mental masturbation.

I must realize how powerless I am. As long as I delude myself by what I imagine myself to be, to know, to have, to do, I'm in a sad position indeed. Only in complete negation of my personality there is my chance to discover real being.

I want so much to get rid of this false self. I see the world around me and current situation and this perception based on sensations and shaped by memory imply "me" as a perceiver, whose nature is questionable. I want to give it my full attention, examine it with care in order to discover its lies. I'm tired of living engrossed in an image of myself.

Times are tough, a long distance relationship uncertainty, inflation, raise of the living costs... in all that, I must be serious, intent and truly interested for myself. 

I'm destroying myself, and my own, by serving my boss, my family, my friends, themselves very much confused. By all means I need to be selfish, in the right way. I'll do what is good for me.

Suffering is born of blind and uncontrol desires, love is never frustrated. How can the sense of unity be frustrated? But desires are of the mind. As with all things mental, frustration is inevitable.

I love sex, and the sex with love is the best thing on this planet. Love is a state of being, sex is energy. Love is wise, sex is naughty. I know their true nature, I've understood them. Without love, passion and sex life is so boring, it is a dead thing.