We witness now the June's full moon, known as Strawberry Moon. The Strawberry Moon doesn't look like a strawberry, neither it is pink in color. This name has been given to the full moon by native American tribes to mark the ripening of strawberries. 

This moon symbolize the start of spring, the sweetness of life, purity, and love. The deeper meaning revolves around passion, forbidden temptation, and sensuality. The sweetness of the strawberry is a metaphor for the sweetness of life.

Far away that I'm in a good mood. I feel very agitated and disturbed. I'm pissed off about online photos and why people care of what others think. 

My girlfriend never ever posted any photo of us neither in her Instangram nor on Facebook. When I don't think about it I'm fine but when I start thinking and analyzing I get so disappointed. So I've  removed all her photos from my blog.

Yesterday, my niece asked why I feel down and I told her. She was so angry on me. She hates Facebook and Instangram very much, she is getting married in September but she does not have any photos of her fiancée online. She supported my girlfriend completely and she told me that's the way it should be, people are jealous, envy and some thing you can share only with a handful of friends. 

I'm trying desperately to understand that. I understand that people are different and that privacy is important, but again.... I have even read what other people are saying about it: Why doesn't my girlfriend post a picture of us on her Instagram? And this reading disturbed me even more.

Since Monday I feel like this, so gloomy and somehow empty, sad and pessimistic about our future. I canceled the trip to Serbia planned for September. I got the travel credit but I have no clue when I will use it. 

I'm looking forward to meet my girlfriend in Amsterdam next week. This has been planned long time ago but after that everything is so confusing. I'm starting a new job next month, I won't be able to travel in July. She has her own uncertainties and turbulences. Maybe we might meet at the end of August, maybe Malta, but who knows... and that's killing me.

There is no long distance relationship without future, without plans. The application for her landed immigrant status in Canada is waste of time and money. She will never come to live in Canada, she will never leave her ways of living for me. For me??? She doesn't want to post our photo in a Facebook story which stays a day and it is gone. What am I expecting? I'm being so silly.

She has close friends and all of them travel a lot, so I see now, her objective in our relationship is to travel and say to her girlfriends that she was around. She told me that she never speak about feelings (especially love) with them. They don't talk about it because it is so intimate. I'll never ever comprehend such superficiality. I love her and I really want that all world knows about it, but it looks, that's just me. 

I don't know in which category to put this post. It's not a daily LIFE and it doesn't properly belong to, neither AWAKENING nor OBSERVATION although it has some elements of all of that... So let put it in ENTERTAINMENT.