I don't worry for anything

I'm a blogger writing about nothing important. I write here about awakening, spirituality, yoga and my daily life but I'm not quite sure that you understand my message.

I write about life and my observations in this world, that nothing really matters but you don't really get it.

To be quite honest I'm just having a fun, life is not a science.

The more you theorize, the more you study life, the more you understand that there is nothing true here. Life is just flow of events which my mind is desperately trying to connect into patterns and find the meaning.

I'm reading the current chapter of my life very carefully, practicing detachment and having in mind the impermanence of everything. It is a big shit, I mean, detachment and impermanence.

I spoke with my girlfriend for about one and a half hour yesterday. She told me that she is not sure about our "living together" thing, she would rather like that we live in the same city. I told her that "living together" was my plan for the future, not right now.

Anyway, her words are a wake up call for me. I see, a thing is as it is until it isn't. 😉

Yes, nothing in life is permanent. What matters most is how well did you live, how well did you love, and on the end, how well did you let go.

Finding happiness in someone else is a lie.

I don't want to write here about my relationship. My girlfriend may read this post and she may think that something is wrong. Nothing is wrong just I'm going slightly to change my attitude in our relationship. I will not mention "living together" anymore.


The crossroad is a place from where different paths emerge

September 11, 2001 was the one of life's crossroads. Many turned out towards making money but some went towards spiritual awakening.

I was the one who consciously started investigation of life and truth in 2001. I become a spiritual seeker. 10 years later, on September 11, 2011 I was laying down in St. Joseph hospital in Toronto, exiting major manic episode.

I was released with a diagnose of bipolar disorder. I have never accepted that diagnose but since then I am taking the medicine every morning.

I don't think I am a bipolar, I know that condition was related to the awakening and my dissatisfaction with my daily living conditions. I particularly think of my marriage.

Culmination of my disappointment was on 9th September 2011 when I decided not to go home anymore. My wife reported me as a missing person and I was found 2 days later roaming on the streets of Toronto. That was it.

Two years later I divorced and since then the bipolar conditions are nowhere to be found. Anyway, my psychiatrist said that is because I am taking the medicine.

I like when relationship breaks up. Many mental problems could be solved in the world simply by choosing different kind of life. 

I did not have courage to divorce because I thought I had obligations towards my family so it ended up like this.

That is all my past and I don't look in that direction anymore. And as you can see, I don't have any plan for the future either.

What is left is this moment where I'm fully aware responding to the events as they come. That's my life now, the life of living in this world without any concerns.


In this all-pervading emptiness, in the lack of meaning and insignificance, I've actually found a great source of my joy.

I'm laughing at the world, I'm nobody. I exists in a short, insignificant period of time and I have nothing to worry about.