Spring Cleanup

Spring has come. Still cold, windy and rainy days in Toronto, but I can feel it, it's going to be warmer. I'm waking up from the winter slumber and now it's time for a change.

I've been doing a bit of serious thinking these days. I'm clearing my mind about various things. It’s something akin to age of 58, actually something like early spring cleaning. I feel pulled from the various sources and my life seems to flow by its own. I need to see where I am in order to start over again, fresh.

I’ve been here many times before, and I didn’t always listen my inner guidance. I’ve stood on the verge of change and looked down at my life and I refused to accept new possibilities. Choosing to stay in a place I don’t like simply because I'm lazy and don’t trust my gut, remaining stubbornly atop of bullshit pile of all kinds of wrong perceptions.

I should be careful with the life planning, whatever I write to the universe at large, turns out to be quite different in my life. So this time I need to be more realistic and honest. Let listen, understand and act.. Rather than having separate goals, one goal should flow to the another.

So I start with a major goal of my life. I have to be conscious, human being. At all times I should be aware of myself keeping the mind quiet and steady. Strong mind is a mind without thoughts. 

This magnificent spectacle called world is the magic of the eye. It is plain trickery. The world is the product of the combination of the sensory organs and thoughts. All what I see is perishable, not true. But, If I say that world does not exit, it seems to be there in front of me, it looks real. 

The world is neither true nor untrue. It's passing show. The passing appearance is the nature of the world. The transient nature of things brings fear. All human beings have the sadness embedded deeply into psyche. We are overpowered by fear of death and we continually strive to protect that something is not taken away from us. We take every precaution to save our money, try hard to stop aging and struggle to keep our status and authority.

Why I give importance for worldly objects is because I believe in it. I come to understanding that world is nothing but objects and names. Also I become convinced that comforts and attachments cannot really provide true happiness.

Desires, dreams, worries, imagination are not products of my mind, they are my mind. Whatever is created by thoughts must be destroyed by thoughts but whenever I try forcefully by act of will to break up these thoughts their number only seems to multiply. The imagination and doubts are gradually dissolving by being quiet and just observing them as they are, without initiatives. 

So that's my first goal... to let my thoughts be what they are. I want to be aware of them, that's all. The next step is to do more physical exercises than what I have done so far. Daily ashtanga yoga practice is not a choice anymore, it is a must, and very necessary thing to do.

In life there is only 2 things to be concerned of. Necessary and unnecessary. Everything that is not necessary should be removed from life. Life should be simplified to the point of only necessary things.

I must go out from my apartment and walk and walk more and more every day. I need to eat less and exercise more. Optimal health and body weight is obtained by the amount of food deficit from the amount of energy spent. I am 58, my metabolism is not like before so I need to exercise and move around eating less.

From Monday I am going to start working on a new project at my job. I need to learn product catalog in details and teach other developers what needs to be done there. It is a challenging job that requires my full attention and I will do it with a joy.

The last thing for spring clean up planning is money consideration. In March I've spent a lot, much more than I intended to do. For April I'm setting a budget of $50 per day. I'm not allowing myself to spend a cent more than that. I need to discipline myself regarding money spending. I earn a lot but also I spend easily.