Sexy as Fuck

Just like that, right now, I declare myself to be Sexy As Fuck. Or, if swearwords aren’t in your vocabulary, just short ... Sexy.

You know having a good self esteem is a great thing to posses. I'm a handsome man. 

As a 50 something old male, a double Aries by birth, it is hard to get rid of years (in most cases decades) of sexual repression and oppression in my stale marriage and the cultural conditioning of fear and shame around sexuality that many of us grew up with.

A quarter of the population is dealing with the aftermath of all kinds of childhood abuse, 1/3rd of women are dealing with having been physically or sexually assaulted. 85% of women cannot reach sexual orgasm. This is not just statistics... it is unfortunate truth.

Before I became a Sexy as fuck when I look in the mirror, the scene understandably lowers my enthusiasm. And then I realized something, being Sexy as Fuck has little to do with look and everything to do with being conscious and having a spark of the lust in eyes.

It is all about attitude. I got rid off my past love stories and they don’t linger around me anymore. 

The last girlfriend I had here in Canada, before my current long distance relationship, was a way back in 2020. We broke up in August 2020, she told me I am an amazing guy, but I was having a limitation, namely, I did not want to spend more time with her, so she dumped me.

I wasn't bother about it. It was a good thing that happened to me, I thought my dating is over and I was fine with it. That history was repeating itself, over and over again. So many girlfriends and the same outcome. 

The only way to live in present is to first look the memories, process them and heal those that hurts. Learn from the past and determine to make the present far better. And that, my friend, is the Sexy as Fuck.

Then I saw her, talked to her and we became a friends on Facebook. 

After a year I met her.... and this time everything was so magically different. Now, I'm caught up in the longing for her... for the touch, for the presence, for the smell... 

When we are together, I kiss her and I ask her how it feels. I talk to her. I communicate! I touch her until I feel that I'm touching her heart. From out of that connection grows the magic of love, skin on skin until I lose myself, until I disappear.

For me, the love and sex is an art of disappearance. It’s surprising when you discover that you can talk about everything, what she likes, what she dreams, what she desires... it is the only way to reach freedom, that actually works.

Touching her body drives my actions confidently. I am not talking here about arrogance but of my eyes looking at her eyes while my hand is under her dress.

Sometimes, the communication is just a touch, no need for too much talk, it is not necessary. All that gives a kind of mystery, I'm not bringing a lot of “drama” into a relationship, rather, I make her life more interesting.

I am Sexy as Fuck... I stand tall with my shoulders back, impatiently smiling I'm waiting for her.