Wherever you go, there you are

Do you wake up with the feeling like you’re a hamster on a wheel? I mean, everything is the same, you're just getting older, you brush your teeth, take a shower, drink your coffee, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch television, go to bed, and repeat. It feels like you’re doing nothing, going nowhere, that you're living your life by default.

Do you ever wonder what to do? You're getting older and the life seems to have no point. 

Contrary to the scientific belief, duration of life, and any process in general, is not measured in hours, days and years. It is measured in the amount of changes.

For a clock changes happen steadily: tick, tock, tick, tock… A simple process with a concept of metric time. But you are not the clock. You are consciousness. 

For you changes, those ticks and tocks, are new experiences, something never seen before. Repetitions also matter, but the amount of change carried in them (merely increment the “same thing”) is nowhere close to those of new impressions.

It is the repetitions that makes you old.

I was in your shoes too but then one day, just out of the blue, I decided not to worry anymore. Just like that, I said to myself - I'll have no worries for anything or anyone in this world. That happed somewhere in 2001 and since then I try to live my life based on that simple realization.

I'm not saying it’s easy way to live. Do you get it? Some days I’m trying super hard to stay in "I AM" sense, to be in the sense of presence, to stop thinking, to stop my inner dialog and I see, I notice emotion rising, doubts, concerns, fear for the future... what if.. etc. But, I keep trying. If I can’t change the way I see the world, then the world I see will never change.

Despite traveling the world, changing jobs, moving, and having relationships, my life is a little bubble because my mind feels safe there, and staying safe means getting older. It doesn’t matter that I’ve changed my circumstances; the end result is always the same: Most of the time, I feel bored and empty, lost and alone.

I noticed that I feel that way, bored, empty, lost and alone because I never really do anything different. The fact of the matter is, in my daily routine I change nothing so nothing really changes in my life.

Recently I found myself on the verge of a real change, a real move. I'm getting married soon and my life is going to change. I'm selling my apartment where I have lived for the last 10 years, and I'm buying a new one. 

In 5 years or so I'm seriously starting to consider selling everything in Canada and moving to Greece. I want with my wife to buy a property and to work and live there. This is not my imagination, it is a real opportunity to get younger. 

My head is going into a tailspin worrying about why I'm doing all this? Why marriage? What I would do if she leaves me after a couple of years being together? Where I would go and why is this happening?

But, with all the work I’ve been doing on myself, I decided to see everything in a new light. 

This is an opportunity for positive change of my life instead of a devastating loss that may occur. I've stopped worrying, I believe I'll be all right. Wherever I go, there I am.

I'm able to do this because I have been practicing self-observation for years. I have stopped sitting hopelessly wallowing in self-pity and never moving forward.

I'm not focused on the worst-case scenario, and do you know what is happening? I'm happy and eager to embrace my future life fully. 

I know things won’t always work out exactly as I would like to but it is okay. Without worries all will be right no matter what happens, and that’s a huge difference.

The same can be true for you my friend. 

You may face challenges sometimes unexpected. We all do. Changing your mindset won’t guarantee that everything will be honey and milk. But, living without concerns will give you the insight and strength and you will be okay. You'll handle better what life throws on you. 

By having no concerns of the past and future you are going to create a life that is more interesting and fulfilling.