Yes, I'm so transparent !!!


I am thinking about how news about my marriage has been received by my family and friends. 

When I told my father that I'm getting married he just said - okay son, do what you think it's the best for you. Yesterday he told me - son, if you are marrying because of sex, forget it. I laughed, I did not have a clue what he wanted to say and I didn't bother to ask him.

My daughter, in her own way texted me - hahaha great dad, good for you! 

My niece was surprised by the news, she asked - is this now for sure? 

I posted "Getting Married" post on my Facebook and I had 2 (two) likes. My family did not bother noticing that at all. I don't give a shit for likes on Facebook posts, I delete posts after 2 or 3 days anyway. But I know they read it, over 500 post reads and 2 likes. Unbelievable.

In my friend's group chat I texted my friends about my marriage, and yeah, they replied congratulation but I did not feel there is any honesty in that. They did not ask anything about it, no inquiry, no interest, nothing, just we have to have a drink for it. The group chat after my message continued as usually, with stupid photos and more stupid comments.

I'm taken a back and I don't know the reason for this behavior. Is this world a place just for suffering? Did people stop liking happy news? Maybe I bother them and get them boring with too many stories about travel trips with my girlfriend? Maybe my close people don't like me and they're jealous about my lifestyle?

Fuck it, those questions will remain unanswered because I will not dwell on them. 

I searched on the internet how many of thoughts do we have in a day?

Official Queen’s University research in Canada found that a person has around 6.5 thoughts per minute or about 6,000 per day, assuming 8 hours of sleep (and discounting thoughts while sleeping). The researchers used data from functional MRI brain scans of 184 volunteers and were able to note when brains shifted from one thought to the next. More specifically, the researchers focused on when the subjects were focused on a single idea and then when the subject moved to the next idea.

Some older hear-say research mention 60,000 thoughts per day which is almost mind-blowing suggestion. So lets stay on 6.5 thoughts per minute is a fact and that means a person has a new idea every 9 seconds. That’s a lot of thoughts. So, most of the time you feel like your mind is always racing!

I have much less thoughts than general population. Most of the time during a day I don't think at all. I'm just aware. That's my spiritual practice.

First of all my world is not so big. I have my daughter, girlfriend, father, niece and 5 friends that I communicate often. Besides that there is a sporadic communication with colleagues at work, neighbors and acquaintances... and that's all. I don't like when somebody talk a lot and put on me a great deal of bullshit. I avoid such people.

I find a peace in quietness so I like more night than day. I especially like early morning 3 or 4 am. By slowing down my mind I have nothing to think about. Anyway, what is there to think about?