In the last two years I have definitely became intolerant to the bullshit, you know: the people and their ignorance - their stupid conversation and stupidity in general. I despise people with bad manners, who swear, who are noisy and pushy.
Looking back at my life I am so grateful to be at a place where I am now. I have found an abstract purpose for living and dying for. My main thing in life is to gain self-realization, to get enlightenment, to know why I lived and to finally understand who am I.
During all these years of my conscious investigation of the existence, of myself and the world, I have acquired wisdom which, for so many people, is not acceptable. That's fine. The ignorance of important things is what makes people suffering.
The important matters are not what you will dress tonight for your night out, or how big is your house, neither what are you driving nor how much money you have... not even your concern for living healthy and eat organically... and certainly not your concern about planet, your recycling efforts and your support for the green agenda.
When you end up old (if you are lucky), you'll be alone and so dependable of others, you will forget events of your life, your "necessary" things will become useless trivialities and your only task will be to get pills on time... when that time comes it will be too late. You have missed the great opportunity life has given you - the opportunity to find out who you are.
That's how things are!
In mean time, on these pages of my blog, The Mastery of Life, I am sharing with you what I have learned. You may read or not, it is up to you. I am not sorry if you don't read it nor I enjoy when you read it. It is the same to me... you must take care of yourself.
I had an interesting conversation with my wife today, exactly on this subject. I don't know how we came to that point but I told her that in my previous marriage, 22 years I felt so responsible to support my ex and my daughter. I was not satisfied with my first marriage for a long time but I kept it because I felt obligation to support my ex.
My own wishes were put aside, I was living a life I did not want to, for so long, I taught my ex could not live without me but I did not feel her love in my heart, so a kind of psychological split has been created in my mind... and back in 2011, it all culminated, I ended up in a hospital after having a psychotic episode.
Fortunately for me, on my ex wish, we divorced 2 years later.
I told all this to my wife and I told her many other things which I am not allowed to write here. My wife holds her intimacy firmly to herself and she does not want anyone to read such things. So be it. I will continue without mentioning her.
I am not responsible for anyone! I'm completely free spirit living his dream, and consciously discovering who am I.
Life is so simple, honesty, openness and straightforwardness without cares of what other think is basic freedom everyone is looking for. Simplicity, getting rid of unnecessary things is crucial for happy life.
The worries, anger, desperation, endless thinking, envy and gossip are not necessary at all. Also, a big house, fancy car and shiny shoes. Fuck that.
Going to expensive restaurants, pretending to enjoy overpriced meals and drinking dry Chardonnay are things that keep people's hedonistic vanity. Those things are not necessary.
People are doing everything possible to escape from themselves. They are scared to be alone, to be silent and sit quietly in the presence.
Being terrified of such possibility they read books, watch TV series and Netflix movies, watch YouTube bullshit, play their online games... they have so many so called hobbies just to escape the self as they really are. And of course, they travel...
Everyone likes to travel without exception. The travels are completely unnecessary. The travelers don't notice that visiting different places does not change a bit of their being. It just kills time. It is moving from one place to another, from one hotel to another, with endless waiting in airports lines.
People are geniuses in find ways to kill their time. It is okay with me. I just write a post.
But look, recently, I read an article about the last words of the patients on the palliative care - top five regrets of the dying. Those patients in their last days has revealed the most common regrets they have at the end of their lives with the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at such time.
The top five regrets of the dying are their wish they had the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them. They wish they hadn't worked so hard. They wish they'd had the courage to express their feelings. They wish that they had let themselves be happier...
As I see all those wishes were oriented towards themselves, their being. Actually they all wished to know who they are and how things really are. Unfortunately their wishes are left as regrets.
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