December 1980

 

December 7, 1980

Questioner: I want direct experience of the Ultimate.

Maharaj: The Absolute cannot be experienced. It is not an objective affair. When I am unicity then that is pure awareness which is not aware of its awareness, and there can be no subject and object - therefore there can be no witnessing. Any manifestation, any functioning, any witnessing, can only take place in duality. There has to be a subject and an object, they are two, but they are not two, they are two ends of the same thing. When consciousness stirs, duality arises. There are millions of objects, but each object, when it sees another, assumes the subjectivity of the Absolute, although it is an object. I, as an object, perceive and interpret all the other objects, and I assume that I am the subject, and the witnessing takes place.

Q. Why does consciousness stir? What is the cause?

M. Without any cause, spontaneously, it happens; there is no reason. That consciousness is universal - there is no individuality. But when the consciousness stirs in a particular form which has also arisen spontaneously, and starts functioning in that form, that form assumes that it is an individual and what is unlimited limits itself to a particular form and the trouble starts.

Let us say that someone has become ajnani, but what was it to begin with? It was that sour, bitter, principle, that secretion because of which the consciousness has taken place. That very principle, the knowledge "I Am," has developed, grown, and become sweet; it matures and becomes the manifestjnani state; but what is that? It is the product of the five elemental food essence. When that goes, what remains? The Absolute which does not know Itself.

Q; The desire for liberation is also a desire, isn't it?

M. Don't talk about liberation, talk about yourself, what you are. When you understand that, both knowledge and ignorance disappear, You only require knowledge so long as the ignorance is there.

A knowledgeable person can tell anything to an ignorant person to remove his ignorance. For that purpose he takes the aid of the so-called worldly knowledge, concepts, and both the worldly conceptual knowledge and the ignorance go simultaneously. Ajnani will give you any concepts to remove your ignorance. This "I Amness" is the knowledge and.

you are embracing that. To remove that he gives you all these concepts; to understand that you are not this "I Amness" which is an outcome of the food essence product. Once you realize that, whatever concepts he has given you, together with this "I Amness," are to be thrown out. What remains is the Absolute.

This is the actual state of affairs. You can never say I am like this or that - you are without knowledge. Rarely will one understand this and, transcend the domain of consciousness. After listening to my talks, you think it is all very simple, but it is not that easy.


December 9, 1980

Maharaj: Here you will get to know what is, not what you expect to hear. Duality arises when consciousness arises. I am present and I know that I am present - that is duality. I am and I am not conscious of being present - that is unicity. There is only one, 'but when this conscious presence is there, then there is a sense of duality.

Questioner: Is a Realized person aware of everything?

M. Actually no one is realized, there is only pure knowledge. It is only for reasons of communication that we say a person is realized. The knowledge has realized that it is knowledge; that is all that has happened. I am not the body, I am not the words; when knowledge recognizes this it is called Self-Realization.

Q, The knowledge Maharaj is giving is for jnanis. What happens to the very simple man who is not able to comprehend this?

M: Bhajans and meditation. By meditation the knowledge which is immature will gradually grow into maturity.

Q. A thousand years ago people were primitive. They could not have understood this. It is only for developed minds.

M. Whether primitive or civilized, people can understand this. Even in those days there must have been some to whom this knowledge did appear and they instinctively understood.

This knowledge is not new; it has always been in existence. People came to know instinctively.

Q. Why is it that India seems to be the cradle of this knowledge? No other country seems to have this knowledge.

M: That is not so. This manifestation is the expression of the Absolute, and the manifestation may take various forms in various countries.

Where it takes what kind of expression is immaterial; basically all is the manifestation of the Absolute. There is no cause and effect, no reason why one thing should be in one place and something else in another.

What is to be found out is what one is, by oneself.

Q. Can the Guru give a push toward that knowledge?

M. You think that you are one individual and the Guru is another individual but that is not so. Guru is the knower of this consciousness, which is temporary.

Understand this curious situation: while I am talking to you there is unbearable pain in the body.

I have understood firmly that there are no individuals separate from one another, no knowledge separate as worldly knowledge and spiritual knowledge. There is no Guru and no disciple, there is no God and no devotee. There are no opposites - they are a polaristic duality, not two separate parts, but two parts of the same one. I am convinced of that and yet I am talking to you. You accept it as knowledge and I give it as knowledge. Understand this amusing factor.

The talks emanate spontaneously out of me; prior to the emanation of the words there is no meaning fabricated inside. There is no part played by the mind. It is direct spontaneity.

Q. What is the definition of consciousness as used by Maharaj?

M. Consciousness, as it is used here, is this sense of being alive, of being present, the sense of existence. It is the love of being that is the source and cause of all desires.


December 13, 1980

Maharaj: The Absolute is unicity, by Itself, but it is expressed in manifold ways and forms. As Absolute I have no experience of myself. The devotion without another is devotion to the Self, where there is no duality. 

Once the duality comes, the devotion is divided between subject and object. Before birth we were not conscious of ourselves; only when a foreign element, the birth, was introduced, did we become conscious of ourselves.

Apprehending this is awakening and for this there is no path or technique. This is so subtle that I would like to speak more about it, but it is physically impossible for me to speak more than a few words.

What I speak about openly, others will not. The amount of receptivity each one has depends on his own luck. Understand also that what you hear from me you cannot utilize. Whatever you hear will spontaneously do what it likes.

Questioner: Sitting here and listening to Maharaj is pure joy. Even though it appears to be in duality, it strikes something deep inside.

M: So long as there is that sense of duality amongst you what you hear cannot reach the target. Understand what I am saying. The consciousness arises spontaneously. Once I am conscious of myself I know I exist, and I love this beingness; I do not want this beingness to depart from me and it is this that makes me strive all the day till sleep overcomes me, in order tokkeep this love of beingness satisfied.

Then the Guru tells me the true state of affairs, that this consciousness which I love so much is only an illusion. It is the basic cause of all unhappiness and my true state is before this consciousness arose.

That is beyond all concepts and any name given is a concept.

Understand it thoroughly, intuitively, beyond words, but also understand that that understanding can be of no use to you, because it is at the level of consciousness, and consciousness is illusory.

What is being recorded and transcribed here will be of unimaginable value in course of time when the basis of understanding will be broadened and people will want to know what the state of affairs is. At that time, when this is exposed on a wider scale, there will be wonderment. These words will be few, but those who at a certain time will be proud of their own achievements, when they hear these few words their own knowledge will evaporate so suddenly they will be wonderstruck.

Q. I don't understand the way the word consciousness is used here. I thought consciousness was pure awareness, the Ultimate reality.

M. This consciousness, which depends on the food body which is born, is time-bound. That which is prior to consciousness is the Absolute, and when consciousness is without a form and not aware of itself, it is the Absolute. We are nothing but this consciousness.

You come here and I talk to you but I am not concerned whether you come or go. I am totally independent. I, as the Absolute, do not need the consciousness. Total independence is merely to apprehend and understand. My apparent dependence is on this consciousness which says "I Am." It is this sentience which enables me to perceive you. This concept I did not have but even then I existed. I was there before this consciousness appeared.

Whatever you want, desire or worship, can only be concepts. Have you heard what is conceptual existence and what is existence prior to concepts?

Many people have come here purely for spiritual purposes and they have professed great love for me. Subsequently some good fortune happens to them and they prosper and in their prosperity they have no time to come here. All the earlier love is where? This is the province of mays. A person comes with the sincere intention of spiritual search, then this mays shows him a little bit of temptation and off he goes. This mays does not operate independently - we are partners. Will he dare divorce himself from this maya? No, he will accept that maya. That ego (that I am so and so) is very difficult to get rid of, but the ego cannot touch one who really understands what I say. 

You will continue coming here as long as the concepts remain; once you go beyond concepts there will be no need to come here. Since when and because of what, is what you think you are?


December 23, 1980

Questioner: When you observe a problem, any problem in the human mind, if you observe it very strong and pure, the problem dissolves and there is only observation. What is that observation, who is that observation, what is the essence of that observation? How to go further?

Maharaj: This is a traditional way of understanding. It is a traditional mood of the world observation, nothing beyond that. Just a mood, that's all. When did this process of observing start? It started with the arrival of the waking state, deep sleep state, and the knowlege "I Am," all rolled into one "I Am." This is known as birth. With the so-called birth this triad has come, and with its arrival observation started. Every day it is going on. The moment the "I Amness" comes it is being used for experiencing, observing, etc.

Prior to the happening of this birth, where was that "I Amness"? It was not there.

Q. Going on further, one is in observation, one is just observing, is there any further question then? What should be the question?

M. When does the observation occur and of what? You have collected a profound vocabulary, but the Self-knowledge has not dawned.

Q You see, that is what I was observing. How to enquire into that?

M: You know you are. Because you know you are, everything is happening. Get to know that knowledge "I Am." When you understand what that "I Amness" is, then the shell of the mystery is broken.

Q: What is the procedure to get at that?

M. You go to the source out of which this question arose. That source will solve this question.

Q. Is there any enquiry in that?

M. Oh yes. If anybody, any principle, wants to pose the question he should not embrace the body as himself. Pose the question from the standpoint that you are only the knowledge "I Am." 

Q. You put the question because you don't know.

M. Yes, but the primary ignorance is about our "I Amness." We have taken it as the Ultimate, that is ignorance. We presume that this consciousness is the eternal, the Ultimate, that is the mistake. This "I Am" principle is there provided the waking state and deep sleep are there. I am not the waking state, I am not the deep sleep - therefore I, the Absolute, am not that "I Am." Leave aside this triad; what are you?

Q. It comes again to the question "Who am I?"

M. Understand clearly. When you keep aside the very instrument of questioning, where is the question?

Q: If you don't question...

M. Which you? You have removed that "you."

Q. I don't know. How can you answer?

M. What questions can you have without this triad? Let us presume that you are fifty years old. You have had the association of that triad for fifty years; go behind now, five years earlier what was your experience? What were you like?

Q. I don't know.

M. That is correct. It was a no-knowing state. In that no-knowing state, suddenly knowingness has appeared. It has created all this mischief. Since when are you and how long will you continue to be? 

Q. Well, I would say, since I have been experiencing and for as long as I am experiencing.

M. Right. Now, without the experience of "I Amness," talk something about that.

Q. I can't.

M. The association with this triad state, this bundle of mischief, due to what? For example, a building is on fire, it is said because of a short circuit in the electricity: The arrival of this triad, due to what short circuiting? There was some friction.

When you press here on the cigarette lighter the flame is there; because of the friction or short circuiting, all the three states are aflame.

Q. And the flame is?

M: "I Am."

Q. I have been born into this.

M. Because of that triad you are experiencing life and doing spirituality also.

Q. At the end there is no question at all, no who am I or what am I if I put aside this triad there can only be silence.

M. Silence or peace is related to chaos or turbulence.

Q. It has nothing to do with peace and turbulence. I mean, if you just sit quiet in your Self, leaving aside these three states, knowing that I don't know myself, you can only be silent.

M. What you say is impossible. The knowingness will be there provided waking state and deep sleep are there. If they were not available you would not have been here in this form. If you had the capacity to know before birth that you were being born, you would not have cared to jump into this pit of birth. 


December 24, 1980

Maharaj: There is a great difference in my present state; earlier when I listened to bhajans I was conscious of the words and the deeper meaning of the words, and I was totally involved in the bhajans. Now my consciousness reacts only to the extent that there is consciousness of the bhajans taking place, but no involvement.

I am no longer concerned with anything to do with "me" or "mine." This sense of "me" and "mine" is so strong that there can be quarrels over nothing more than a little piece of cloth with no intrinsic value, simply because of the identification of "mine."

This consciousness is nothing but energy. When the body essence grows weaker, the consciousness grows weaker, and ultimately will leave; nothing is dead. 

Food is one item that keeps this energy in good order. I take hardly any treatments, but I do have my body massaged. This massage revives the warmth in the body (which is the energ y) so the energy in the body, which tends to be lax and cold, is warmed up again by the massage.

What is born is the waking and sleep states and the concept of time and consciousness. Once this consciousness is conscious of itself it takes on certain items as its own, because of conditioning, and others as not its own, and it will fight for and try to protect those which it considers its own. When consciousness realizes its potential power, its universality, the "me" and "mine" concept is lost.

This universal consciousness is known as God, which is the Almighty, the Omnipotent, Omniscient, and Omnipresent, all the attributes. These attributes are given to God in consciousness, not to the Absolute. The Absolute is without attributes.


December 27, 1980

Maharaj: The trouble is, everybody wants to have the knowledge of the Self without giving up the identification with the body, they are contradictory. Give up this identification and everything becomes simple. I am there before anything can happen. If anyone is asked whether he knows when the sky came into existence, he will say he does not know. He does not know because he considers his presence only as a phenomenon when the body was there.

That the sky was not there I know, and who is this? It is the One who is prior to everything. My true nature is not circumscribed by the concept of time and space. 

When you hear this you promptly get confused and say, "In that case, how can I carry on my normal business?" Understand your true nature and then do any amount of business you like.

I say all this with great sincerity and great urgency. People hear it but do not give up the identification with the body. They hang on to it with great determination.

Even the statement that you existed before the sky existed will not be acceptable to you.

A child may be playing with the smallest coin, and if it is removed will be greatly agitated. You accept your identification with the same determination, the same anxiety, in spite of the knowledge which you are being given. Even if you give the child a toy made of gold, he will reject it because he has his heart set on that small coin. Even if I give you this knowledge, which is priceless, it will not be acceptable. The sound which first comes to denote the presence I am not; I am neither the presence nor the sound denoting the presence. Whatever one sees or perceives, that one must be prior to what is seen or perceived. It is simple.

When this knowledge of the Self gets firmer and firmer we are no longer attracted to those things which had previously attracted us so much. You see me talking, apparently at ease, but there is continual suffering, particularly between 2 and 4 p.m. the existence of this consciousness itself becomes unbearable. This is no one else's experience I experience it myself.

What is being recorded now, when it is typed and put into book form and someone reads it, what will he make of it? He will say that he cannot imagine anyone having lived who could say this. The actual-fact now is that I have reached a stage where it would require good fortune for anyone to have even a sight of that principle. The words are so profound, there is deeper meaning behind it. Presently only fortunate people will listen to my talks.

I repeatedly tell you that there is nothing save this consciousness, the knowledge "I Am" -if you feel like worshipping something, worship that. I am giving blessings. Blessings mean what? I am giving confidence and courage.


December 28, 1980

Maharaj: Can any of your concepts grasp the total, the Ultimate? Have you understood that knowledge itself is ignorance? If it were real it would have been there eternally - it would not have had a beginning and an end. 

Now the experience "I Am" is felt, earlier that experience was not. When it was not, no proof was called for, but once it is, lots of proof is required. How did you wake up in the morning? Why did you wake up at all? It is not the mind which knows - somebody knows because of the mind. Now my hand has lifted, who knows? The one who has lifted my hand knows it has lifted it. You are before the mind; because you are there the mind is working.

When will you wake up? Provided you are, you wake up. Through the concepts of others you have built up so many things around you that you are lost. "You" is decorated and embellished by the concepts of others. Prior to receiving any hearsays from outside, has anyone any information about himself?

The purpose of Sat-Guru is to tell you what you are like prior to the building up of all those concepts of others. Your present spiritual storehouse is filled up with'the words of others - demolish those concepts. Sat- Guru means the eternal state which will never be changed: what you are. You are that immutable, eternal, unchangeable Absolute. Sat- Guru tells you to get rid of all these walls built around you by the hearsays and concepts of others.

You have no form, no design. The names and forms you see are your consciousness only - the Self is colorless but it is able to judge colors, etc. The one who is directed by a Sat-Guru has no more birth. Your sadhana is over, you have reached this place. 

To you who search for the Self, I explain this type of knowledge, I lead you to a state where there is no hunger, no desire. When you have knowledge you see the "I" as all-pervasive, as long as the consciousness is there, but the witness of the consciousness has no "I Am," that is your true eternal nature.

Giving up the body is a great festival for me.


December 29, 1980

Maharaj: Sitting in meditation helps the consciousness to blossom. It causes deeper understanding and spontaneous change in behavior. These changes are brought about in the consciousness itself, not in the pseudo-personality. Forced changes are at the level of the mind. Mental and intellectual changes are totally unnatural and different from the ones that take place in the birth principle. These take place naturally, automatically, by themselves, due to meditation.

Most of the people see the tree of knowledge and admire it, but what is to be understood is its source - the seed, the latent force from which it sprouts. Many people talk about it but only intellectually; I talk about it from direct knowledge.

A small speck of consciousness, which is like a seed, has all the worlds contained in it. The physical frame is necessary for it to manifest itself. All the ambitions, hopes and desires are connected with an identity, and so long as there is an identity, no truth can be apperceived.

Questioner: Is there any destiny for the total manifestation or the phenomena as a whole?

M. As there is no single identity, where will it go? The fuel is the destiny of the flame; so also, the food essence body is the destiny of the consciousness. Consciousness alone offers destiny and destiny offers suffering. Because of the mistaken identity we think of personalized consciousness, but actually it is vast and limitless.

The source of consciousness is prior to time and space. Manifestation needs time and space; but the source of consciousness was there before manifestation took place. The manifestation has five elements, three gunas and, above all, consciousness, the "I Amness." Now how can anything be without my conscious presence? Even the elements cannot exist without me - I do not do anything, I do not create anything - they happen because of my conscious presence. My presence, is throughout and I say this with conviction.

Some may read these words, some may have heard these words, some may hear the tape recordings, some may want to hear, but will be thrown so far away from the tapes, due to circumstances, that it won't be possible. There are millions of varieties of forms in the total manifestation, but the source of all is the consciousness. What is this consciousness? Does anyone think along these lines?

In dreams one sees moons, stars, etc., but the identity is not there. The consciousness has to be understood during the waking state. People come and go, sights come and go, elements come and go, but I remain. I am conscious of my consciousness, and then alone the whole show is there. Suppose a very important person is coming to visit in two months. The houses are decorated, the stands are put up, the streets are decorated, a lot of show is there. Why? It is due to that V.I.P. Some people fast for a month, and take a lot of hardships on themselves, but they expect to get back more than they give away.

People look everywhere but to the source. Exclude this birth energy and see if anything can be done by anyone. We, limit this limitless energy to the simple phenomenon which is one body. Intently examine the words: if my conscious presence is not there, what will I be? I enjoy the words that come up spontaneously and watch how true and unconditional they are. 

A murderer is loose; he has committed many murders and the international police are after him but unable to catch him. That is like the traditional scriptures not being able to locate or find the Absolute. It is beyond the grasp of the Vedas, Puranas, etc., because it is not conceptual. 

This murderer is very proud to escape all the efforts of the police force; he is so fearless that he sits where the plans to catch him are discussed and hence he cannot be caught.

Everyone has to die, so die as your true nature. Why die as a body? 

Never forget your true nature. It may not be acceptable to many, but it is a fact. If you must have an ambition, have the highest, so that at least while dying, you will be the Absolute. Decide that now, firmly, with certainty and conviction.

A tiger is coming at you: you know that when he attacks you, death is certain. So, why die like a coward? Attack him and maybe he will run away. But if the tiger is passing by, do not unnecessarily attack him! Only when absolutely necessary, jump on him.

God is great and maya is vast, but what are you in the end? The mental modifications take you away from the Self. Nobody wants to enquire about the Self deeply and thoroughly; everybody enquires on a superficial level.

Q. My mind does not stay quiet, it goes here and there.

M. With all these ramblings you will be entertained, but you will not obtain knowledge. This is all spiritual entertainment, because the factual state of affairs is that what you are, you are, without modifications. 

Q The desires are there; they will keep on demanding.

M: Finally, what are you?

Q. I am nothing; mind, etc., keeps on going.

M. Then why are you learning all this? 

Q: To serve the people.

M. So many great people have rendered so many great services, but where are they now?

Q: So many waves come and go. I want to pass my time by having no desires and serving others.

M. Do what you like. Rain falls and renders service to the beings. It does not suffer while rendering services. All the beings that come about are sustained due to rain, are they happy?

Q. They are all suffering. I too do not have peace. How does Maharaj see us?

M. I see everyone as I am. This being is the combination of the parents. All are engrossed in concepts, they enjoy them.

Q. When lam one with music, etc., it is all joy, but when lam in conflict, it is all misery. Sometimes I feel angry. Why?

M. Mind and body and their actions and reactions is not my subject. I do not deal with these problems. There are numerous other people who can deal with such problems.

Q But almost all people are on the side of body-mind. One in one million is open to you.

M: Ask about yourself, do not bother about others.

Q. On one side I feel attracted towards silence and yet I feel that millions suffer and Sages do not do anything about them.

M. Because their suffering is illusory.

Q: I know that there are four states, waking, dreaming, deep sleep, and a state beyond all three. I can understand intellectually, but still suffering is there. 

M. Get rid of all the four states and also rid the people of their suffering. Let the illusory world take care of itself, you must find out who you are.

Q. I want to practice Naturopathy and teach others and learn wisdom myself.

M. By developing these concepts you will not come out of it at all. First understand what is circumstantial and what is real. You are the product of the concepts of your parents, are you not? 

Q. Yes, at a conceptual level.

M. Mind and all the concepts are due to your primary concept "I Am." Your parents and you are simultaneous concepts. Now, without trying to experience, what experience are you having?

Q. I Am.

M: Is it not a concept? There are concepts formed from concepts, it is a vast world of concepts.

Q. I would like to be free from them.

M. This is to be realized by one's self; it is not to be passed on by word of mouth. Who is obtaining the Self-knowledge directly? When did I happen to be? I must know about it myself, first-hand, not from others.

You are, you know you are - this is the great Lord, the sudden, explosive effulgence. Surrender to it, and you will know all. It is without form or name. It is to be abided in by firm conviction.

You could not see and judge the quality of light if you were not light yourself. You are that subtle knowledge, and if that is there, then only everything else is possible.


December 31, 1980

Questioner: When you become one with everybody's consciousness there is an emotional drain because you feel their sorrow and everything. Is that a right state in which to be?

Maharaj: It is one of the preliminary stages, but it is excellent. There is still separateness but gradually it will ripen into complete oneness. 

Q. I don't feel any desire anymore to strive for anything in the world. 

M: There is nothing wrong in that. Your hunger and thirst for bliss or joy is absolutely fulfilled and therefore you stop going after things.

Q. Is there still some individuality left to continue one's duties?

M. That individuality does not create any kind of discontent or fear. It so happens that there is no memory at all of that individual "I," it goes on acting on its own energy. There is a memory that this is the total manifestation but no memory of an individual acting.

Q: I feel that I am one with consciousness but it wavers.

M: You are not yet stabilized in consciousness; you are getting some glimpses. Being one with consciousness is going beyond these states of waking and sleeping. You know the sky, you know the space, but can you become one with the space? Not yet, it is not possible. When you become one with consciousness you become one with space.

Q. Is there something which I can do to help me to grow, to progress?

M: Consciousness does not undergo any progress. Even the space cannot have any progress and the space is number three.

One is the Absolute, two is consciousness, three is space. Where there was no knowledge "I Am," that is number one; later on there is the sense "I Am," that is number two; then there is space - number three.

Passing the examination of the Upanishads, does it give you knowledge of the Self?

Q. No. However it does something.

M. In my case, everything is spontaneous - that is my dharma. If the knowledgeable people come and tell me I am foolish, I will say, "This foolishness is my richness, my freedom. That knowingness which has come over me, that itself is foolishness."

You are a very gentle woman; if someone comes and abuses you, thinking you are a man, you will get very angry at this misunderstanding. To identify with anything, "I am like this," is abuse of your nature.

Q. How to lose this identification with the body?

M. Increase the conviction that you are the formless consciousness. You develop your firm conviction that you are the total manifestation, universal consciousness. There is nobody who can have the knowledge of the Truth, the Eternal. It is one's eternal true state, but it is not a knowledgeable state-you cannot know It. So-called knowledge is boundless and plenty in the state of attributes, "I Am." In this body is the knowledge "I Am." When the body drops down the knowledge "I Am" will subside there only - what remains is the Absolute.

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