
March 1, 1981
Questioner: Is this "I Amness" which everybody has the same thing as consciousness?
Maharaj: Other than this consciousness and "I Amness," what is there that can claim "I Am?" Understand that this "I" is not different at different levels. As the Absolute it is the "I" which in manifesting needs a form. The same Absolute "I" becomes the manifested "I" and in the manifested "I" it is the consciousness which is the source of everything. In-the manifested state it is the Absolute with consciousness.
You may think that you consider yourself to be the consciousness, but you generally keep on wanting something as an entity, even if it is spiritual knowledge. The body is only an instrument by which consciousness manifests itself; it has no separate, autonomous identity.
This body, which you love so much, is time-bound and this consciousness, which depends on the material body, is also time-bound.
The vital breath is the active element which keeps the body in action. Consciousness is the passive element. The vital breath will leave the body after a certain span of time and leave dead material; the consciousness will also leave the body and merge with the universal consciousness. This is the normal process - within this what is it you consider yourself to be? This is merely a functioning, there is no separate entity. Actually our true identity is known to everyone, there is no doubt about it. But because of identification with the body as an entity what is definitely known to us is being forgotten.
Listening to what I say may give you a temporary sense of peace and pleasure, but so long as you consider yourself a separate entity wanting spiritual salvation, all this is useless.
There is no entity that can benefit from the listening that takes place. What is birth after all? Birth is only the waking state, deep sleep and sex; suppose the sex is removed, then there will be no interest. The sex cannot fill your stomach, cannot provide you with food, but that is necessary. It is easier to understand that the entire manifestation is of the nature of a dream, or a mirage, but you interpret the rest of the manifestation as being a mirage and won't let go of the seer of the phenomenon. The seer is also part of the mirage.
March 6, 1981
Maharaj: If you have any questions I will try to answer them. This moment now, of this particular situation, is a very peculiar one. You need not talk if you don't want to, you may merely sit. Merely sitting here, at this particular time, will be of great benefit. The moment ... the auspicious symptom, and it will give the most amazing results ... incredible ... this moment itself, this touch of"I Amness" is just a pinprick, just a touch.
If you apperceive what I have said, there is no reason to visit me again. What I have told you is not something to be wondered over or pondered over for a period of time - it is a matter to be apperceived immediately.
Have you had this way of expounding knowledge anywhere else, in quietude?
Questioner: At Ramanasram. Everybody was silent there too.
M. How long were you with Ramana?
Q. Only a short while. How is it that I have been so fortunate as to find Maharaj now?
M. Something good you have done in your past life. If you had not done your homework you would not have visited this place, The rare, lucky ones will visit this place and listen to the talks.
Q. I am having different experiences of warmth, seeing light, and I am afraid.
M. Don't worry about any experiences, try to abide in the experiencer.
The experiences are good indications of your development, but don't stagnate at the level of experience.
Q: I usually feel that I am this or that, but I am losing this. I am feeling more detached, not interested in the world. During the experience of the shedding away of these concepts I feel a sense of death and fear.
M. Yes, it will go on like that. So long as you are, such things are bound to happen. You have to transcend the "I Am." If you are alert, focusing your attention on the moment, the "I Am" is a continuous moment, you transcend the "I Am."
March 8, 1981
Questioner: Can we understand our real nature through consciousness? Can we grasp it?
Maharaj: Is there any other instrument through which you can understand your true nature? Whatever is_can be perceived by all, is perceived by all. Who wants to grasp it? You, as a separate entity, want to know That which is, as the Absolute. It can't be done, because you are the Absolute.
Where does the one who has attained samadhi go? The seeker himself has disappeared.
Q. If the seeker is a concept, then the Guru is also a concept.
M. Yes, but that Guru is the support for all seeking. So long as there is word there is seeker; when the word vanishes, there is nothing.
I have experienced all four kinds of speech and transcended them.
Rarely will anybody follow this hierarchy to stabilize in the consciousness and transcend consciousness. Starting from vaikhara (word), normally we listen to words; from vaikhari we go to madhyama (mindthought); in watching the mind we are in pashayanti where the concept formation takes place and from there to Para (I Am - without words), and finally from Para to prior to consciousness. This is the line to follow, but only a rare one follows it - receding, reversing.
Q. Is deep sleep and the state prior to the "I Am" one and the same?
M: As a concept it is the same thing; until you become That, then there will be no one to know. Not only that, but whatever actions are done - whether through you or me - are originally done within that state of deep sleep. In sleep you dream; this being-awake state is the primary dream; the dream in the sleeping state is the secondary dream - it is the transformation of the primary dream. In this state of consciousness, in the primary dream, the entire universe is created and when it is realized that it is a dream - then you are awake. Both dreams are consciousness.
Q. Then the actor cannot know that he is dreaming?
M: That is exactly the beauty of maya, the whole heart of it. Understand that the basis of whatever dream it is, is consciousness.
March 9, 1981
Maharaj: This sense of entity that one has, which has been created by the mind, when the consciousness itself disappears, what happens to that sense of entity? Is there anyone who knows that he is dead? It is only the others who say that he is dead.
If the consciousness and the mind were the ultimate truth, then all those millions of forms which have been created and destroyed would have the knowledge of their existence.
In this country, in this life, you acquire something, but the rule of the land is that whatever has been acquired cannot be taken out of the country.
Whatever you acquire is because of consciousness, but the law of the land of this life is that nothing can be taken away, once consciousness disappears, everything is gone.
How does man behave in the world? He forgets what it is that is really functioning. He forgets that the forms are only instruments for the functioning of consciousness. He considers himself an entity and spends his whole life working hard, trying to achieve something. The motivation for all this is the sense of me and mine. All kinds of forms are being created and destroyed continuously -'that is part of the functioning.
Questioner; If there is nothing to be achieved by an entity, then what is the purpose of this spiritual seeking?
M. What is to be understood is - all that is functioning is the consciousness - no entity is involved.
Q. Then what is the use of understanding?
M. There is no benefit for any supposed entity. There should be no sense of even a benefit out of this understanding. You are the understanding. Who is to get the benefit? That which apprehends this has no shape or form.
The forms are created from the five elements - at the end of their span of time they are destroyed. If you live for hundreds of years, nothing will be of any benefit to you. I have obviously understood all of this and yet I have made sufficient provision for my new flat to be constructed. Understand what might appear as contradiction, but there is no contradiction so long as one sees all this as part of total functioning. Will this appear to any normal person as something reasonable?
Q: Can Maharaj -tell us how the diferent traps can be separated and avoided.
M. You had better get some hefty people to cut up the five elements into little bits - then you will have this separation. It is just one.
Consciousness itself is the trap.
Forget all your other questions, merely concentrate on the source of this consciousness because of which everything else is. How did this body arrive, and within it this consciousness which is latent? Find out the source of this.
Q. Maharaj has brought us back to the root.
M. I threw you at the root and buried you, and in that state in which I have buried you, there is nothing to be known, because in that state, consciousness is not. Once this is clearly apperceived, so long as the body is there life must go on, but life appears merely as a series of entertainments.
You should understand from what standpoint I am talking; if you understand you take it, otherwise you leave it. Nobody in the world will tell you so bluntly. When you really, intuitively, understand what I mean, then you will come to the end of spirituality.
March 10, 1981
Questioner: Why does the identification seem to change constantly?
Maharaj: In consciousness the identification with an individual will keep on changing, but once the identity is lost it is possible to remain in total manifestation.
Q. Can I reach the Absolute state while consciousness is there?
M. In that state there is no one to be conscious so there is no question of reaching that state as long as consciousness is present.
Q: But I thought Maharaj said ..
M. That state is where knowledge is absorbed in knowledge, and knowledge is not aware of itself. The instrument has to be there and consciousness is the instrument. In consciousness, consciousness is conscious of itself, but in the state prior to the arising of consciousness, who is there and with what instrument can one be conscious?
In that state which is not tainted by anything there is no conditioning.
Take the example of space. In space there is darkness and light, the space is there whether darkness or light is there; in the same way the state prior to consciousness is always there. Right now it is there. It is the substratum of everything. Ajnani is one who abides in that state of space in spite of body and mind.
Q. What is the practice, is it meditation only?
M. You must possess that confirmation that you are formless, designless; not only rely on meditation. Always insist that you are formless, free, and are not conditioned. You must hammer on this constantly, that is the practice.
Q: I have longer times when I am disassociated from the body-mind. I don't understand what is happening to me when I see the body act and feel outside of it.
M. What is wrong with that? You must have a strong conviction; that conviction means practicing. That conviction means not only "I Am," but it means I am free from "I Am" also.
You know you are, without words. Just be that. You are not to think or imagine anything. Before it occurs to you that something is, you must be. You must be there in order to meditate. When you wake up the first thing in the morning, at that moment you know only you are, emerging from deep sleep to a waking state. Later on you think I am so and so, etc.
Q: In meditation I hear sounds and see visions.
M. To hear something you must be there. That state is a most Godly state but it is more important to be your Self.
Q: There is always fear.
M. The fear is because of ignorance. It is not external sound, it is the manifestation of your consciousness. The Godly illumination is there provided the Self-effulgence is there. To see the God, you must be there. To get to know the knower is difficult; it is something like knowing a township; it is not individualistic, it is manifestation.
When you are that manifest consciousness state, it is something like... a deep dark blue state; you are in that homogenous, deep dark blue state. That is the first step of beingness. From that deep dark blue Selfeffulgent homogenous state into no-knowingness state - that is your true identity. It is a no-knowingness state, a total, complete, perfect state. In that knowingness state everything is imperfect, is is never complete - that is why you want more and more. In spite of plenteousness, the knowingness state is incomplete.
Q. What is the effect at death?
M. The effect is upon those who know that the person is dead and gone. There is no effect on the one who is dead and gone - he doesn't know he is dead and gone. The body is made of food, the true you is not in this body. A lot can be said, but you will not be able to receive what I say.
Suppose I say that if you are not, the Brahman is not - will you understand? You are so much obsessed by death because of your identification with the body. Because you are thinking of death, death is sure for you, but if you are the Self there is no question of death for you.
March 11, 1981
Questioner: By reading the book of Maharaj's talks, I feel great freedom and joy, I think I am experiencing the living word.
Maharaj: What is it which was experiencing this? It was the sense of presence.
Q. I have read so many books, but this was a new revelation, a new experience. Why don't I get the same experience from other books?
M. I am not going to accept any of your compliments. Your questions are from the. body-mind level and you will accept the answers on the same level. You are riding the horse of body-identification.
Q: I wanted to know why I got such experiences from reading your book and not from others.
M. I am not interested in your experiences; I am interested only in you. The talker and the listener are one. Most of the others who come here may be said to be in a state similar to that of having had a really good dinner; they have had their fill, and now they are chewing the cud, like a cow - they are not interested in further food. That is why there are no questions. If someone like you doesn't arrive and ask questions, there will be no questions. You have come to seek knowledge and you are knowledge.
Q: Dakshinamurti taught his disciples in silence.
M. Hang Dakshinamurti! That is hearsay, something you have read or heard. What is your experience? I -am here and you are here: ask questions.
Q. Why is it that some die young and others live a long life?
M: Will there be birth or death without the consciousness or self? When you say they die young or live long, those that are born, actually what logic does the Self know? Does the sun know when it sets or rises? First understand what it is that is born and then this mystery will be solved.
Q. The body is born, the Self is not born.
M: If the Self is not there, can the body be born? What do you understand by the word birth? Are you born?
Q. As long as we identify with the body we are born.
M. I talk only to the consciousness about the consciousness, the common man will not understand.
Q. What is the way to understand? What is there to do? The quickest way?
M: Understanding and being in that true nature is the task. There is no other God than this sense of presence and I am this sense of presence. Understanding this with conviction is the quickest way. Understand that original state when there was none other. That is true knowledge, my true nature. Plenty of avatars have come and gone, but that space is there all the time.
Q: How does one overcome basic ignorance?
M. What is it that understands there is something like ignorance?
Q: Knowledge understands.
M: Understand that you are that knowledge and forget about ignorance. Any beautiful music, when it is heard, any dancing girl, when she dances - if by all this nobody is moved, he is either ajnani or a donkey.
Here is a roomful of such people who will not be moved by the beauty of anything. I am in that state where there is total absence of any concept of presence or absence. You are also in that state, but you don't know it.
My consciousness is not very effective; there is no recognition now of anybody as an individual, a person. If you feel like sitting you are welcome; whenever you feel like going you can go.
March 14, 1981
Questioner: By the grace of Maharaj Ifind that now my eyes are able to see and my ears are able to hear.
Maharaj: What the eyes see and the ears hear is only the false. Both will disappear. You are That which witnesses. What is understood and practiced by the common Hindu man as spirituality is that water from the river is carried in a vessel and poured over an image of God. Some of these images have been placed so that one has to climb 500 steps to reach them. This is considered to bring great merit. They collect water in brass vessels in Benares from the Ganges.
They carry that water, walking all the way, to South India, to Rameshwara, and pour it over the idol, and they will take the sea water from Rameshwara back to Benares and pour it over the head of the idol there. This is their concept of liberation - water is taken from one place and carried to another-what a strenuous concept!
Q What we hear at the feet of Maharaj is something that is ever new.
M: What I am telling you about can never be new or old - it is unchanging, everlasting.
This consciousness in which concepts arise is itself a concept, and so long as consciousness remains all other concepts will continue to arise.
The Absolute unmanifest is what Is. Whatever we think about that Absolute state can only be a concept, until the consciousness ends and we are in that Absolute state.
One achieves something and one guards it, but how long can you guard it? Only until you are in deep sleep. You have a fond concept and you hang on to it all day; in deep sleep where is that concept?
Q. How does Maharaj talk to us if he does not accept individuality?
M. The sun does not shine for individuals. The words come out of the consciousness, spontaneously, as part of the total functioning. There are any number of experiences, some of them you like and you keep them in your memory and pamper them - that itself is suffering. All your experiences should be just part of the total functioning, happening spontaneously.
March 15, 1981
Maharaj: I am not inclined to collect more people and expound knowledge because I am not able to deliver myself as something tangible to you. Krishnamurti is talking, I am also talking - there is no substance in that. You are recording the talks and writing it down - in the final analysis, there is no substance in that.
Once it is realized that it is only a total functioning of the manifest consciousness and there is no individual entity, there will be no question of liberation, of birth or death, or of a doer doing anything.
Normally, in the name of spirituality, knowledge is expounded.
Knowledge is in the realm of the five elements ad it is talked about as real or unreal as long as the knowledge "I Am" is there; it is a product of the knowledge "I Am."
Ajnani is that state from which witnessing of the knowledge "I Am' takes place. In that jnani state there is no touch of "I Amness" (it is a quality-less state) and it is not knowledge - knowledge means "I Amness."
Suppose there are no thoughts, time has stopped, but space will be there. A thought-free state is something like space, space-like. I am the witness that the thought-free state is there, that is the Self, "I Am," the being. Because the being is there, having removed all the pollution, including thought, time is also gone and space and beingness is there.
When that state ends, it is the Absolute state, a something sweet-like state. You are just playing with words and the meaning of words - you don't go to the root from where the words emanate. Nobody goes to the root; they are fascinated by the display. When the support of the bodymind is not available, what are you then like?
I am in the state beyond suffering and enjoyment. It is said that when knowledge is realized, the devotion persists still but actually there is no personality left. There is no question of devotion; devotion to whom? However, they say that devotion is there - it might be for the guidance of other seekers.
March 16, 1981
Maharaj: Even in the highest Saints there is always some doubt about the clarity of "I Am," and this enquiry of what I am must be gone into at any and all levels. The importance and significance of the enquiry is that no one can give you an answer to this enquiry except yourself. Each one, as "I," has to find out what this "I" is. The merest description that can be given to this consciousness is that it is as fine, as subtle, as space. In maturity your consciousness is God.
That original state, prior to the arising of consciousness, cannot be described, one can only be That.
I keep on repeating that whatever one listens to ultimately means nothing - because whatever I am, that is exactly what you are. Any action that one takes depends on a certain image that one has about oneself, and that image remains only so long as consciousness is there. Is this clearly understood?
People come here with a certain set of concepts; I hold the mirror before them of what they are as phenomena and ultimately they realize that as phenomena they are nothing and when consciousness departs they will reach their original state - which was there before the bodycum-consciousness arose. In that original state there was no experience, even now any experience that one thinks one has is only a concept.
In that state, before consciousness arose, there was no query of "Who am I?" because there was no one who wanted to know that answer. This question arises only in consciousness; anything in consciousness is only a concept and therefore it has' to be wrong.
Out of millions of people, why do only some come here? Obviously it is when consciousness has this enquiry in consciousness that it brings people here.
Questioner: Is the "I Am" a concept or the only reality?
M: "I Am" is only a few letters. Has anyone been able to keep this "I Am" in his pocket for all time?
Q. I am - but without words?
M: Yes. If whoever feels this "I Am" had knowledge, would he have cared to become this "I Am"? No, he would have said, "I don't want this consciousness."
Q. I understand.
M: You are unreal - you know that you are - that is also unreal. This sense of presence is an untruth; it is like a dream.
Q. How can this "I Amness" be the source of misery?
M. Try to find out when this concept of happiness and unhappiness arose. It was not there until I had this consciousness.
Everybody loves this sense of presence and wants it to continue for all time but they don't go further into the past and find out whose ecstasy created this sense of presence. Because of some physical ecstasy, lasting only for an instant, this speck of consciousness in which the entire universe is contained has come into existence.
Q: I don'tfeel the misery of "IAmness",• Ifeel that everything is right. Does it mean that I don't want to look at the misery?
M. You cannot do anything - you have to enjoy what is - is it not so? To suffer or to enjoy, you have no choice. Nevertheless, experiences will be there. You may not be involved in the experiences, but so long as the "I Am" is there, experiences will be there.
The magic, the art, of this consciousness is that it has not only hidden the fact that it is the source of all misery, but has made itself the source of all apparent happiness.
March 17, 1981
Questioner: What does Maharaj mean by Linga-deha?
Maharaj: It is the seed, the chemical, the product of the five elemental essences which give rise to and sustain the consciousness "I Am." Just like the seed of a tree, that seed latently contains all future manifestations and expressions of the tree that will sprout out of that seed. You take a fountain pen and on the paper you put a drop of ink, so that drop is the Linga-deha. That drop is the moment of conception; its expression is the thought-free state, like space, in the knowingness state. That is the quality of knowingness, space-like; there is no concept, but its expression is the physical, tangible. Just imagine it is infinitesimal, but its expression is manifest infinity.
Foreigners understand, but when the Indians come, they listen to the talks, but they are still attached to all their bodily relatives. At Linga-deha level, when you worship your Guru, you are the expression of Guru, in so many ways. You will be experiencing so many things at such a level, but all that has emanated out of you only, out of your love and devotion for Guru, and finally, as you evolve, all those expressions merge into you. This is very important, this is the consummation of devotion or Saguna Bhakti.
That Linga-deha, that little drop, and the knowledge "I Am" is the same. What we see is the manifest world which appears in that speck of consciousness. As sweetness is the nature of sugar, so this speck of consciousness is the nature of that drop of Linga-deha. The parents, the source of the Linga-deha, are merely an excuse for preparing that which was conceived. Your true state was there before the body and consciousness arose, is there now and will be there after the body and consciousness go. Somebody may challenge what I am saying.
I have never had any doubt about what you are or who you are, because I have understood my true state - what I am, I know you are.
Some people will spread this illumination, but it will be the foreigners, not the Indians. At a later date people will question, "Was there really such a person who expounded knowledge in this way?"
March 18, 1981
Maharaj: There is no duality between the Guru and the Bhakta. In That which Is there is no duality, has never been any duality. The word Bhakta means devotion, but in actuality it indicates togetherness, one only, unity.
Questioner: The flame of devotion lights my way.
M. Who speaks about that flame? When we talk we don't talk about a person, but about that dynamic, manifest flame "I Am."
Q. That is not extinguishable.
M. Who says that?
Q: I believe that.
M. Because it is your belief, is it right?
Q: I have no proof.
M. You are running. Who talks about the proof? With your faith, whatever you are worshipping and devoted to, that you will get. The trouble about your spirituality is that you are listening only to that knowledge about Iswara which is useful to an entity, you are collecting only that knowledge. As a man, an entity, this is a temporary phase of your emotions, or sentiments. No person will be able to conserve his personality or his identity forever. That guiding principle is not a person.
Nowadays I don't expound any theme of spirituality. I don't even talk, but still, why the attraction which brings you here? With this I develop my encumbrances. I have nothing to gain in this bargain except these encumbrances.
Do you'know the ingredients of that personality? Unless you get to know that fully, you will not go beyond.
Q: What about my desires, my needs?
M. You are in need of your Self.
Q: Is there any involvement between my desires and the raw material?
M. Plenty of involvement. Out of the interaction and play of the five elements this food body is available, in that the fragrance and taste is the knowledge "I Am." Now you find out what is the indication that you are in this food body.
Q. Would fasting help me to find my Self?
M: Not at all. That "I Artiness" is the very expression of the food. Suppose you want to find sweetness, sweetness is the quality of sugar, if you reject sugar where is the sweetness?
Q. Then I always have to go outside myself to food, to get this taste?
M: Can you get the food from inside? The supply comes from outside.
Q. I have always been led to believe that this sense of presence did not depend on body, that is the essence of spirituality, and now you tell me the opposite!
M. Therefore understand this mystery itself. Where does the world exist? It exists in this speck of consciousness, and this consciousness can exist only if there is food.
Whatever life you are living, you are only entertaining a concept. Find out is there such a thing as an individual. Think over it. If the entertainment of the experience is easy, if it pleases you, you call it happiness, if not you call it unhappiness.
The feeling that you are - the sense of presence - what has caused it to come about? Think on it.
Q: Everything is happening because I am.
M. Will you be able to retain this understanding always?
Q: Just for a moment and then the identification comes back.
M. It's a long way to get the understanding stabilized that everything is happening because I Am. Now, for how many days will you be in India?
Q. I have only a few more days here.
M: It is not important where you are, once you are established in the "I Am." It is like space - it neither comes nor goes; just as when you demolish the walls of a building only space remains.
March 20, 1981
Maharaj: My personality, or individuality, is thrown to the winds, it is no more there. What you are visiting is only that Duhkha Bhagavan, the God of Sorrow. Bhagavan is this manifestation, but sorrow only. It is not involved in thought or activities - it is just the manifestation. I am the total functioning and whatever in the functioning, at the moment, has certain significance, that I am.
It is only by taking the aid of this consciousness, which is suffering, that I am talking. This kind of experience happens only to a very rare one. Don't ask anything, just listen.
This consciousness, this manifestation, this functioning, has no shape, form or color.
Questioner: Would Maharaj explain more about Duhkha Bhagavan?
M. Duhka means pain, suffering, agony. Bhagavan means not only God, it is indicative of explosiveness, a flash ... an explosive flash ... world perception - with the appearance of "I Amness."
When there is an explosion of fireworks there is a crashing sound, a flash of light, and lighting up of the surrounding area. Similarly the "I Am" explodes into being and the whole perceptible universe is conjured up, but consciousness, the "I Amness," gives rise to inadequacy, imperfection, and therefore the beginning of sorrow, misery, etc., and the set.
Cling into body-mind sense. From perfect to imperfect - from no-being to being. In the reverse direction - from body-mind to beingness to Absolute - then the consciousness state is a Godly state.
Q Why is there so much pain and unhappiness in this world?
M. Because you are always in search of happiness. Happiness and unhappiness are interrelated. If you did not have unhappiness, how would you recognize happiness?
March 23, 1981
Maharaj: I am That which represents the absence of what is seen. If you try to accommodate what I say within this concept that you are a human being, it cannot be done. In spite of listening to all I have said, most of you will continue to identify yourself as a body, and you will look on me as an individual, but I am not that. My real presence is the absence of the phenomena that you see.
My sleep is not the kind you have, it is pure consciousness. When I sleep there is awareness of total manifestation and also the Unmanifest.
There is no distinction between an individual and the total universe.
You think that I am ill but that is because you identify me with the body. I consider this illness as an extraordinary state which comes to the lot of a rare one so long as the individuality exists in the form of a body - but the importance of that is impossible to describe. That state is full of suffering; nevertheless, it is full of significance and it comes to a rare one.
The question of what one is comes only in manifestation, in comparison with other phenomena. In my state there is no phenomenon; my existence is prior to any manifestation. There is no question of who or what I am.
Questioner: Would Maharaj repeat what was said earlier about that state where there is no phenomenon?
M. Once it is said it is gone. The correct way of listening is to concentrate on the words which reveal your own identity, forget all other things. You arrive at your identity as that state which was prior to words. Words cannot satisfy That.
This consciousness, because of which everything else is, is itself merely the light of That which is, a reflection of That which is. The average person who considers himself a seeker worships the various concepts, not his true being.
Q. Would Maharaj talk some more about the state which was prior to consciousness?
M. What is the point? Anything you can think of that state is only a concept and that concept will last only so long as the consciousness is there. Only the experiencer remains - unsmeared by any experiences - even the experience of remaining.
I am nothing but how dare I talk like this? Because I know none of the experiences have remained with me.
You will not find anyone so blunt as I. Everyone is concerned with these experiences from birth to death but no one gives any thought to that state before experiencing began. One who has a clear understanding of this consciousness cannot attach any importance to any experience.
Q. I want to give up this identity with the body, I want to find out who lam. How do Igo about it?
M: If you do not have the knowledge "I Am" who is going to seek? You must be, only then can the search begin. Remember the knowledge "I Am" - that alone pervades everything - be only that, give up the rest.
Q: When I think "IAm, "then immediately come thoughts of the things that lam. I know that comes from the mind.
M. Before you think - you are. In the space all movement happens, for any appearance or any movement, the space must be there. For the question "Who am I" there is no reply, but you may reply any way you like, you can give it any name or title you like.
People do not go to the root-meaning of whatever is heard or read, they just repeat, parrot-like. I take a serious, objection to people just reciting the bhajans, parrot-like.
How many people have understood the meaning of certain couplets sung at bhajans? The sun and the moon are the reflections of that very principle "I Am."
Spirituality is open and at the same time it is a mystery. Because you are, all the worlds, the universe is; this is your reflection.
If you want to know what you are, that is all given in the bhajans. If you close your eyes and almost forget yourself, half-sleep, that is exactly what you are. But if you want to a glimpse, the first vision that you get is that deep blue space, that very idol of beauty, the image of beauty. Very often I have elucidated this point but rarely has anybody been able to catch what I am driving at.
At bhajans I used to stress certain couplets by shouting loudly but nobody understood what I was doing. I was stressing certain couplets so that people would go deeper into the meaning of it, but they were only shouting louder! Not only was I loudly stressing that particular line but I used to repeat it. I was inspired to shout those lines at the top of my voice, "You are that speck of consciousness and out of that the entire cosmos is created." I was deeply devoted to the singing of bhajans because it was providing all the spiritual nourishment. Whenever I used to strike the profound meaning of a particular bhajan I used to dance in the room. I have all the exuberance to dance and sing now, but there is no energy.
After that I never went to any Sage or Saint. However, many Sages and Saints visited me, but unfortunately I did not meet anybody who considered the sun and the moon and the universe as their expression such a Sage I did not come across.
Q; Although I do not know Marati, I have felt the deeper meaning of the bhajans intuitively.
M: Many people do bhajans here, but they are not able to grasp the deeper meaning. Many of the foreigners are able to catch the deeper meaning. You (the foreigners) have that advantage because all of you who are interested in this were in your previous incarnation the army of that great incarnation Rama, followers of Rama, so you were already blessed at that time. In further incarnations you migrated to the East; you are more at home in this place than the Indians are.
Foreigners recognize me, but people in the street don't know me, because that great Rama blessed all his army, all his followers, at that time.
I admire the foreigners - not only do they come thousands of miles to be here but they spend so much money to stay in Bombay.
Q: Unless there were that deep urge, we would not come.
M: That is your very destiny. In that chemical which you are, that urge is already planted therein.
You people come here and sit, with determination to get what you want. Therefore I have great respect and great regard for you.
March 25, 1981
Maharaj: Treat the body like a visitor, or guest, which has come and will go. Yoa must know your position as a host very clearly while the guest is still there. What is the exact nature of the host after the guest leaves must be realized while the guest is present. Have you understood? Give me some idea of that position in which you will find yourself when this body guest leaves.
Questioner: There is no identity.
M. Good. Is this a firm conviction?
Q. Yes, in the meditation.
M. What is the significance of the guest, the sign?
Q. As soon as the guest comes there is the sense of identity as a host.
M: The sense of presence, "I Amness," is the sign of the guest. Are your answers out of deep conviction?
Q Yes.
M. Then there is no need to come tomorrow.
Q. It is only in deep meditation that I know it.
M. Do you accept completely the knowledge that you do not exist?
Q. There are moments in meditation when I really feel the conviction.
M. It is not a firm conviction if it is not there all the time. When one is very sleepy -just at the point of going into deep sleep - at that point he wants nothing else except to go to sleep. Similarly, at the last moment, when the breath is leaving, there is also a moment of ecstasy. At that point, when the life force and consciousness leave, there is that moment of ecstasy, that last moment of knowing. One who has thoroughly apprehended this is ajnani to whom there is no question of birth or death.
Even if you hear this and think it is true, the conceptualizing.will not stop. Already some concept has begun in you. Whatever I have told you now is only about that speck of "I Amness."
Q. Would Maharaj tell us more about that moment of death?
M. Nothing more can be said about it. It is the culmination or termination of the Self experience, "I Am." After the termination of "I Amness" there is no experience of knowingness or not knowingness; the knowingness is the quality of the material stuff. What did you know prior to your birth?
Similarly, after death this instrument is missing; without the body there is no experience. Eternity has no birth and no death, but a temporary state has a beginning and an end.
Even when the consciousness goes, you prevail - you always are - as the Absolute. As the consciousness you are everything; whatever is, is you. All this knowledge has dawned on me, I am not that knowledge.
The knowledge "I Am," and all its manifestations, are understood. In understanding, I am not That.
March 26, 1981
Maharaj: The only knowledge you will get here is knowledge of the Self; it will not help you to make a living in the world. Do you have any idea of what your true nature is? Since you have understood what you are not, you should no longer be concerned with what you are not. Is that clear?
Questioner: Yes.
M. You still have an idea of what you are but even that image must be totally erased, so that there is no idea of any entity, any identification. Now that you think you have understood what you are, what use will you make of the consciousness? Any use of the consciousness will be for others.
Q: The grace of the Guru is necessary in order to understand.
M. The grace is always there but the receptivity must be there to accept that grace. One must have the firm conviction that what is heard here is the absolute truth.
Instead of becoming impregnated with what I give you, to the extent that you are one with it, you merely accept it, put it in your pocket and keep on using concepts which you have accumulated already. None of you will really understand what I am, you have your own concepts of me.
Q: I have understood with the intellect. What can I do to realize it?
M. There is nothing you, as an entity, can do. That which has taken root will by itself flower into intuitive understanding.
Q. This understanding will take some time.
M: Is this not a concept? The very concept is a hazard. When my Guru told me what the position is, I listened and said, "Oh, this is how it is." And that was that - the end of it.
If there are no more questions I will close the session. I am not here to keep a watch over you. If you really understand what has been said there is no reason to come again, and if you can't understand, then what is the use of continuing?
Q: On occasion there is a spontaneous feeling of universal love; is this based on body-mind, or is it something else?
M: Total love is the very nature of consciousness. When this feeling arises there is nothing you can do - how can one embrace the entire ocean?
March 28, 1981
Questioner: What is the relation between consciousness and the intellect?
Maharaj: Intellect is the expression of consciousness.
Q. We understand and apperceive everything through the intellect only.
M. Things to be done must be done, things to be understood must be understood. Things to be done are normally your present worldly life and these you must carry out. In spirituality you have to understand, there is no question of doing. In spirituality there is no name and form.
Name and form are necessary for your practical worldly life. The one who understands that name and form are not his identity is in spirituality.
Presently you are still drawn towards name and form. Your identity in the phenomenal world as name and form is temporary, a passing show, and anything relating to name and form is not going to remain.
One who understands spirituality through various concepts will he caught up in a vicious circle. If you are caught up in concepts, you will be caught up in the circle of concepts . . rebirth, reincarnation, these are all concepts. If you are caught up in these concepts you are bound to have them. Out of concepts the forms are created, such as buildings, etc. Originally you make a plan, you have a concept, the concept is born out of you, and you give it a concrete shape, but it remains a concept.
With the experience of so-called birth you are caught up in the cycle like the picture on the TV screen. All this life-happening is something like a cinema.
You must have observed daily that situations are constantly changing - that is the quality or expression of your identity with the body-mind. It is the consciousness that is playing about, and in that manifest consciousness all these various faces and bodies are playing about. You are not these faces and bodies, you are the consciousness out of which the words are now flowing.
Just- as the play you see on the TV or cinema screen is not real, similarly this play is also not real. For ajnani all the play is unreal. I am not going to give you solutions to your family problems, I am telling you how this worldly life is not. After listening to these talks you still want to gain some profit for yourself; that is a pity. How astonishing it is ... in spite of my discouraging you from coming here, still you come here, how does it happen?
Without making demands we see the dream. Why do we see the dream? Because in deep sleep the consciousness wakes up, spontaneously, and because it woke up, it manifests itself in certain visions.
Just like that, this also, your visiting this place. I am not talking to you for my advantage, nor are you listening for your advantage - all this language is sprouting spontaneously in a dreamlike state.
I always try to direct you towards the truth but you come here with a bundle of conceptual sticks and stones, and instead of listening to what I say, you play with the sticks and stones - on me.
Right now, think of that last moment when the body will go - at that time with what identity are you going to quit?
This is a fraud, everything is fraudulent, just like a dream world.
Q. What is the primary cause? What was the crime?
Al. The crime was that this consciousness started feeling conscious, the mischief started.
Whether you like it or don't like it, I am going to place before you the factual state of affairs. You know you are - but it is all imaginary. You think you are - but it is a fraud. Whatever the nature of the beingness and its behavior, it is not your behavior.
When you, abide in your true identity you are out of this michievous dream world. I have placed before you what you are. All of you have the fear that you are going to die, that this consciousness is going to depart - all the expressions are the expressions of the food essence body, not you. Sweetness or pungency are the expressions of the food, you cannot conserve or preserve them. In the same way this "I Amness" is a quality or expression of the food essence body, and you cannot retain it forever.
March 30, 1981
Maharaj: I am amazed and astonished that you are sitting here. The talk is emanating from a state where there are no words. What identity do you think you have?
Questioner: How to establish oneself firmly in the awareness of "lAm"? Does one think "IAm, " "I Am".?
M. Is it necessary to think that you are sitting here? You know that you are sitting here. However loudly and often I urge you not to think and act in terms of an entity, identified with a body, you keep on doing so.
Whatever name and form there is belongs to that material, and that material is not you. Do you analyze the problem and with a firm conviction decide that you are- not the material? When the material disintegrates, what does the name refer to? Does is have any significance?
Only one in ten million goes to the crux of the matter, analyzes what it is, comes to a conclusion, and gets liberated, all by himself. The one who gets liberated is the consciousness, there is no entity. The ultimate understanding is that which enables the understanding to take place and itself becomes so subtle, so fine, that it disappears. And when this consciousness arises again, then the Samadhi is broken and this "I Amness" starts again.
The words come from the consciousness, and the consciousness needs the strength of the body. The strength of the body is gradually weakening, and therefore the words do not come out as freely as I would like. Spending great energy, I repeat and repeat - but how many have understood? Basically the thing is so simple that I get frustrated when you keep on coming here, listen to what I say, and show no indication that the words have reached home.
What is the birth principle? You have understood or you have not understood. If you have understood, why do you keep on coming? If you have not understood, why do you keep coming?
Q: Maharaj, I just like being herewith you.
M: That is a different thing - but have you really imbibed what I want you to understand?
Q: We come herewith so many concepts and what you are teaching is so astounding that it is like a shock treatment. So how doyou expect us to ask questions? Let us absorb the shock for some time, then the questions will come. We are stunned into silence.
M: Those who come here and listen to my talks and understand will become the Gurus when they return to their own countries. It is so easy to understand, why don't you understand? At the present time, in manifestation, what you are is the consciousness, and the consciousness cannot remain unless the food body is there; therefore consciousness depends on the food body - which is essentially of an epnemeral nature-and I cannot be that. It's as simple as that; why don't you understand?
It must happen that the consciousness is no longer conscious of itself. The sweetness is in the sugar and I am the one who understands and tastes the sweetness. All these spiritual concepts have come in conventionally. The last step is - knowingness in its ultimate state is no knowingness. Transcending consciousness is when the consciousness knows and understands the consciousness.
Q. This morning, between deep sleep and awakening, there was this quiet, for the fraction of a moment, when there was a complete knowing a stillness, just beingness.
M. It is quite an elevated state, but don't get caught up only in that. Deep sleep is something like a block of ice; nothing is there, now it is again reshaping, the warmth is taking place, and with that warmth you feel that you are.
In the playing of the flute, the whole world is fascinated. The consciousness has kept you entranced in the play of the world. Enquire about that flute and who is playing it. Go to the source.
Q. When you are living this life a number of questions arise and we have to be constantly aware of the consciousness, but the mind won't let us.
M: The mind is an instrument for communication, for practical purposes. The mind cannot grasp the truth. The Self witnesses the mind, but the mind cannot catch hold of the Self.
March 31, 1981
Maharaj: When a clear understanding takes place of the nature and function of consciousness, that understanding no longer needs consciousness, because that understanding becomes the knower of consciousness.
Questioner: Is it possible to function as the total manifestation, not as an individual?
M. What do you understand to be the total manifestation and individual?
Q: What is manifestation?
M. I am the manifestation. I, the Absolute unmanifested, am the same "I" manifested. Consciousness is the expression of the Absolute, there are not two.
Q: If my life gives me great satisfaction and happiness, why should I bother about what or who I am?
M. This consciousness will not rest until it gets the answer. This consciousness cannot bear its own existence, cannot bear its own consciousness.
Q. It wants to go back. to its own place of rest.
M. I am not inclined to discuss with words. You people come here with steadfastness, diligently you come here and sit. If you have such a liking, you are welcome.
My teaching is very simple; the experiencer and the experiences are all fancies. When you are a young person you like all the activities of a young person very much, you get very involved in them; once youth goes you are disinterested in the activities of a young person. Similarly, as long as you are wearing this concept "I Am" you will be involved with all the concepts. When this concept "I Am" departs there will be no memory left that I was and I had those experiences: the very memory will be erased. Before you are completely liquidated, while there are some traces left of you, it would be better to quit this place.
You may not come across these teachings in such great detail, and at this level.
This lady has piled up a lot of knowledge, she possesses stacks of it, but in due course she will not only forget whatever she has piled up, but she will forget herself, that she was.