
Questioner: In practice I am discovering that there is a subtle difference right now in being the consciousness “I Am." I can meditate “I Am," but there is not the feeling that “I AM." It just seems to be exterior to something.
Maharaj: When you feel that you are separate from the feeling “I Am," isn't there something or someone who knows that there is a difference?
Q: No, it’s just a sensation.
M: Find out, are you separate unknowingly.
Q: It feels like an observation.
M: Are we all here because of our own volition to be born or has this knowingness appeared in us unknowingly?
Q: Unknowingly.
M: This beingness has come to you without your knowledge, but you are using it according to your own volition. I want to sentence that individuality to death. Is it not justice that I pronounce this sentence? So think carefully. That individuality must go. Parabrahman is purest justice and Truth.
We are not speaking here today because of our own volition; we think we have a choice, but we don't.
You may achieve samadhi for a day or a month, but when you return to normal the consciousness is not different. You think you have achieved samadhi, but that which thinks this is already there, and has not come by your choice.
Q: Is it possible to lose body consciousness as in samadhi while maintaining “I Amness"?
M: During samadhi that knowingness “I Am" is held in abeyance.
Q: But nothing goes, nothing is lost?
M: No, nothing is lost.
Q: Is this the same thing as “I Am," this will, volition?
M: It is the “I Amness." It appears spontaneously and then it is put to use out of volition.
Witnessing happens to the principle prior to consciousness, to the Absolute, but the Absolute witnesses with the aid of consciousness. In the dream there is no physical “I" present, but still you see. The substratum of everything is that Awareness.
Q: Does the Absolute appear and disappear spontaneously?
M: That state prior to the consciousness is always there. This appearing and disappearing spontaneously is the quality of the consciousness.
Normally the Guru expounds according to the level of the person. Normally he tells the ignorant that on dissolution, or death, everything merges into consciousness. He doesn't talk about the principle prior to consciousness because not all will understand.
Q: Will the Jnani have another dawn after the sun has descended? Can he effect another consciousness?
M: There is no rising or setting for this Jnani principle. You cannot condition a Jnani by your words; he is the Absolute.
Q: Can there be awareness without consciousness?
M: The Absolute, the Awareness, is the supporting principle for the consciousness.
Q: But awareness of what? Can there be awareness without an object to be aware of?
M: In the Parabrahman state the quality of knowingness is not present, nor does it have any embellishments or decorations like the manifest consciousness. The Parabrahman state does not know it is, neither does it have this manifestation. In spite of the dissolution of universes and cosmos that Absolute is untouched. It exists. That principle is now talking with the aid of consciousness. In the realm of consciousness this manifestation is going on continually.
Q: I used to live on an island and I would often watch the ocean. Waves appeared and disappeared constantly and I realized that this is the concept. That there was no difference in the play of the waves and what I was seeing in the world. That my individuality was only one momentary flash; but my realization remains a description of an experience only.
M: The Absolute is beyond the consciousness which is manifest. That is the play of that dynamic life force, that ocean of knowledge.
Q: Is that principle absent when the waves are still?
M: The Absolute has no connection with this ocean consciousness principle, but without the Absolute it cannot be. The Absolute is the support of the principle.