10. END SUFFERING BY STABILIZING IN THE STATE BEFORE WORDS


MAHARAJ : The topic on which I talk, which is the discovery of one's true nature, is extremely difficult; and what is my true nature is your true nature

The subject can see and think and analyze an object, but the subject cannot see itself; that is where the difficulty arises. The scientist can analyze an object

But how can he analyze his own being? 

VISITOR : But he analyzes himself as an object; science is the analysis of one object by another, without ever reaching the subject

M : I told you the scientist cannot make a discovery about himself. But the scientist can make a million discoveries about another object... What is a scientist? The scientist as such is only the essence of the food which he has eaten. So how can he do any research on the nature of that essence which he is? [From the point of view that only the greater, the more fundamental, can fully understand the lesser, Editor] The food essence that is the scientist. when that is dried up, where is the scientist? From now on, I will give you only hints; so you better give full attention to those. And when I have given you those hints. I will pack you up so that you will have to work on your own. I will stop feeding people. One can only give directions. So on this matter, ask questions by all means; then you will get answers. But I am basing the questions not on your identity; otherwise, there will be trouble again

V : As I understand it, the quality of the consciousness is one; that is derived from the essence of the food substance. But the food substance itself cannot change the quality of the consciousness; it only supports it, Is that correct? M : Yes, this food, which supports the consciousness, is so small, infinitesimal in fact, that it cannot change anything about the consciousness

since consciousness is limitless. Therefore, how can there be any change in the nature or measurement of consciousness? Are you going to manufacture some questions? [laughter] 

V : The consciousness creates curiosity as well as other desires, and it creates the desire to know oneself. How do you separate one from another? 

M : What is that “you” that you are thinking of? Give me a sample of “you” when the life force and the consciousness are not there. Who is this "you," other than the life force and the consciousness, who wants to do something? If you have some image about yourself other than the consciousness and the life force

Give us an instance. Who is this who wants to do thing or other? The good and bad desires have spontaneously arisen in consciousness

V : They create images of themselves

M : Who is this “who”? Other than the sum total of this consciousness and life force. there is no individual

*** M : You have to look for the ultimate meaning of yourself. Paramatman, but when you are identified with the body, you cannot find yourself. Ultimately the real Self is your true nature, and you are not the body. Your true nature cannot be known through the senses, but all the senses derive meaning from your true nature. Whatever is visible to you, has meaning because of that, the true reality

V : Certain things that you are saying have been recorded in the scriptures, the Upanishads and others. But at this moment. I am not interested in knowing that. My heart seems to have become sort of hungry for grace. There is a conflict in that some say you have to work hard yourself, you have to contain your senses, you have to bring your mind into focus and all that, you have to give up the habit of this and that. Others say that the company of saints - for example, when you sit in the company of Ramana Maharshi - will resolve everything

Hence, I seem to have come to Maharaj with the expectation that something may happen out of the vibrations of this room. The mind expects that something will happen which dissolves all problems

M : If you understand whatever is being said here, then you get peace, satisfaction. But that satisfaction has no design in it

V : I am still not clear. All the scriptures and saints, the advice, you have to put that first. You have to control your mind. Suppose my mind wants to do something. The sages say don't run after the vagaries of the mind. Control your mind, close your eyes. Watch, watch your breath. As Maharaj explains, the state of “I-am-ness,” and all that. But mind seems to be lazy; it does not want to do that, it just wants the grace. So can I have this grace from Maharaj? I am helpless. Lazy and also restless. And here I come with an expectation that out of the vibrations and words from Maharaj, something should heal my mind. clarify my mind

M : These concepts which you have told us about just now, these are the concepts of a mumukshu, one who is desirous of liberation. That is the second stage. But when you come here, I tell you that you are not the body: you are the consciousness. Then you enter the third stage; that is called the sadhana. From the way you talk, I recognize that you are in the stage of a mumukshu, one who wants liberation but still identifies with the body

Have full faith in the guru, who tells you that you are not the body but are the consciousness, that "I"-love. So you are formless. When you are given the mantra, and you chant it, the meaning of that word becomes clear to you, slowly

In that state you don't identify with the body but take yourself as the consciousness, which has no form

V : So it is necessary to take a mantra and to be initiated by that teacher? M : It is necessary and it is not necessary also, to get the initiation of a mantra. But by accepting a mantra from a guru, the meaning of that becomes one with your vital breath and the vital breath gets purified; and in turn you get purified and you become the meaning of that mantra. That means you are not the body form; you are the manifest principle. The vital breath is your expression, everything is formless

The sadhaka or the seeker who takes initiation from a guru is sustained by the body principle: he is not the body but he is that consciousness. The consciousness is sustained by the body principle. The simple meaning of mantra is the principle containing the body, the consciousness. I am that consciousness, the dynamic manifest principle Brahman. “I am,” which has no design, form or color, This consciousness is all powerful; whatever image or concept you hang on to it, its meaning will be delivered into your consciousness and your consciousness become that

V : Right now my consciousness is a bundle of suffering, hankering for grace. My teacher tells me to accept a mantra, chant the mantra and become one with the consciousness of the mantra. But the mind is lazy, out of arrogance or whatever. Out of the habit of comparison: whether to take aid or not to take aid, whether to take it from this guru or that guru. That is all part of the wavering mind. It does not want to accept or reject anybody. It just wants grace without putting in any effort, without paying any price. It wants a free gift

M : How dare you say it is idle or lazy? What the mind knows is out of the vital breath. Is the vital breath idle, lazy, or indulgent? Who told you that the mind is idle? 

V : I am saying it is both; it is lazy. it is greedy

M : That is the aspect of your body, not the mind. Can anything be as active as the mind? V : Mind is lazy and restless. It is restless after getting things from outside, material as well as spiritual, without paying the price for it

M : I am sitting here and my mind has gone to Poona. So how dare you call the mind inactive, indolent? You might say its activity is futile, but it is not lazy by any means

V : I am sorry, I have used the wrong word. What I would like to say instead of lazy, is that mind is greedy. it does not want to pay the price and wants the gift - the gift of grace

M : That is your concept, from the body-mind state. You are interpreting your mind through a body sense. Nothing is as active as the mind

V : But Maharaj has not answered my question. My question is: I want grace without paying the price. The end of suffering I want. Maharaj says: Take my mantra, meditate upon it, live with it... I don't want all those things

M : Why did you come? 

V : Because I am suffering and I want the end of suffering

M : And why also did you pay the price of coming? 

V : That I can't help

M : The basic advice for you is to give up spirituality, do some social work for the benefit of mankind

V : But I have the experience that doing social work is not possible for me without first ending my own suffering

M : You will see the end of your suffering provided you see you are That

V : I have been told that my mind, not the consciousness, is really made up of several parts - the physical part, the intellectual part, and the feelings or the emotional part. This is the current picture we have of ourselves

M : To produce the source of the mind. “I am,” you must have the ingredient of the five-elemental juice. If that is available, the sprouting of the mind can begin with "I am." You know you are before even speaking the words "I am." Subsequent to the knowingness “I am,” you say “I am” by words

V : But the “I am” lies behind what I currently see, and that is made up of desires from the other parts of my make-up

M : Are you not even before you have spoken the words "I am"? 

V : Yes, of course

M : Stay put there only. There begins your spirituality, the foremost “you,” “I am,” without words, before the beginning of words. Be there. Out of that grows the experience “I am.” V : Then "I am" is the observer. “Being” is the observer, right? M : Witnessing happens to that principle which is prior to your saying the words "I am." There is no such thing as deliberate witnessing. Witnessing just happens. by itself

You must also analyze "death," the meaning of this common parlance. At the time that death occurs, the vital breath quits the body, gradually leaves the body

At the same time as the vital breath, the mind and the language also go out

Simultaneously, this quality of “I am,” this sattva-guna, the quality of beingness, also departs or goes into oblivion. Only I, the Absolute, remains. Stay put there only; nothing happens to I, the Absolute

Upon the so-called "death," this sattva-guna, this quality of beingness, merges into the no-beingness state. There is no tangibility left for that "I-amness." The feeling of is no longer there. It has become nirvana. There is no more sample of beingness. So what happens to that quality of beingness? It merges into whatever the state that was there, which is the witnessing of the departure of the vital breath and this guna, this quality of beingness. It merges into the Absolute state

V : Does this happen with everyone, or just with those who realize “I am”? 

M : It happens in totality, for all. In that state, there is no accountability of "I-am-ness" also; so where is the question of “I" and others? In that state, into which the quality of beingness merges, there is no “I-am-ness.” So you can't talk of others on the "I am." To attend to this, you should meditate on the meditative state, you should not meditate on what is, but you should meditate on meditation. So when you really meditate on the meditator. or on that meditative state, whatever is not fit for meditation will drop away. And only the meditator will remain without object for meditation. It is easy for anyone to meditate on what is, when that is an object. But it is difficult for one to meditate on oneself. The meditator cannot meditate on another meditator, if the latter is originally himself. But that is to be attained. In the process of meditation on the meditator, the meditation subsides; it is no longer meditation. it transcends meditation. If you are able to meditate on the meditator, on yourself, all the riddles will be solved for you, whatever they may be

Coming to the point, don't be obsessed by what is. Meditate on the meditator

Presently, I am accused of a serious disease. I am investigating the nature of that disease and to whom is that disease. First of all. I start with the body, which is the five-elemental play. The latter is there, provided the consciousness is there. I want to investigate, about this consciousness, which is sustained by the five-elemental body, would it have autonomy? As a result of this investigation, I find that this "I-am-ness." which is the product of the five elements, does not have the exclusive authority to perpetuate itself. The sickness is subjected to this body, which again is the expression of the consciousness. This sickness has no tangible form; similarly, the consciousness has no tangible form. It does not have a permanent feature, it is only temporary; therefore, it is not the truth. The one who observes the consciousness is the truth. So he does with his abidance in the Absolute, who is in a position to observe all this play, all the unreality. And in that unreality, the sickness is happening. In that fashion, this entire show is eliminated as a big hoax. including the consciousness, the five-elemental world and the sickness. Therefore, the sickness has no real existence, because this consciousness has no existence in reality

This is the way I dismiss my so-called sickness. Can anyone develop any concept in this fashion? Here is a particular example as to how I follow that course of the meditator meditating on the meditator. Don't give scope for worries to obsess you. When the medical consultant pronounced judgment of the illness. he told me: You should take my treatment, although in spite of it certain symptoms will occur: “Blood will come out of your nose and throat, and what not.” So many things he said. The pain will be a little less, but all other things will take their course. So I said. no; in the next five months or so, nothing will happen to me. The original judgment was so serious that it would have depressed any patient. All the symptoms should have become apparent very soon. But so far nothing has happened. What is it due to? I was not meditating on the judgment of the doctor

I was meditating on the meditator. Therefore, so far there has been no effect of that judgment on me

Let anything happen in your body. But stay put in your confidence that you are the manifest Brahman or you are the Absolute. The ideal spiritual seeker must he independent of all external forces; he should not hold on to anyone's apron strings, but should depend only on himself

People are always taken for a ride. A certain concept is given to them and they hang on to it, for dear life. Then that concept comes to fruition and gives results. But that is an "objective" achievement and is not going to last long

I am asking you to abide in your own self. this primary concept that "you are"; you abide in that and see what happens

Are there any questions? *** 

M : The memory of the body is not your identity; the knowledge "I am" is your present identity. Stabilize in it. From the bodily standpoint, you can talk a lot, thinking that it is knowledge but it is not

V : The problem stems from the other way. Maharaj says in his teaching: Stay with the “I-am-ness.” And I say that mind is restless; my mind is not capable of staying in this “I-am-ness.” M : your understanding that you are the body, the problem can never be solved

V : I know this and intellectually I can understand it, but actually I can't help it

M : You are prior to your intelligence

V : I am not interested in any other statement that Maharaj is giving

M : Why don't you stop repeating the same thing? You are uttering words like an apprentice entering the spiritual trade. I want to convert you into an earnest seeker

V : There is the statement “God is all-pervasive, consciousness is all pervasive; therefore, God is consciousness, to see God is to be God.” But I am not that, Is that correct? 

INTERPRETER : When you say. I am not that, Maharaj will ask you: What do you mean by "I am"? 

V : Neti-neti [Ed. : not this, not that] I : He will ask you. to which you refer when you say, I am not that. Which is that "I am"? 

V : One's source of consciousness. That's the thrust of my question

I : This “I am” is consciousness. is it not? V : Yes

I : And you say, consciousness is all-pervasive. God is all-pervasive

Therefore, God equals the consciousness, equals the “I am.” Now what is your question? V : The question was: “To see God, is to be God, but I am not that” - is that a correct statement to make? M : You are correct. I need not go in upon that further. The way you understand is correct. Though generally I am not being given to agree. Any further questions? I will explain why I am inclined not to agree with people. I will elaborate on that. You want to hang on to certain words: you interpret them in such a fashion, in your own words and you hang on to those words. You must remember that you are prior to the words; kill the words. Don't frame your knowledge, don't condition it by words. Be prior to the words

I : I told Maharaj, now I understand why you always disagree with whatever we say, because he never wants us to stick to any words, any statement. He wants us to stabilize prior to words. That is why he always disengages us from the words to which we are clinging as our knowledge. He directs us to stabilize prior to words, that is very important

M : The disease has no name and form; it has no true foundation, because the “I am” also is an illusion. So you must always try to understand in this fashion: What is my true meaning? Your true meaning cannot be grasped or captured by any words. You can never be equated with any words, because you are prior to words. Words are subsequent to you

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