December 1980


December 5, 1980

Maharaj: This sickness gave the confirmation that there is no personality, no individual. Sickness to whom? Sickness is part of the functioning of the entire manifest, dynamic Chaitanya; it is the play of consciousness. My true state is prior to this consciousness. That state does not depend on the consciousness.

There is a couplet we sing at Bhajans, to Chakrapani. Chakrapani means that "I Amness", the life principle, the manifest principle. It is like this cigarette lighter. The gas as such has no light, but its manifestation is the flame; it is full of light, life, energy. Even in the atom and sub-atom, that energy is there.

The functioning of consciousness takes place spontaneously, and one doesn't know what will happen. For instance, I say something and M. will translate it one way, B. will translate it another, in whichever way they have understood it. This is the way the process will go on. This Chakrapani is "like a flywheel," Lord Krishna said, "rotating all beings." That energy which moves all things in the waking state is latent in deep sleep. How long is one unaware of awareness? One doesn't know, but suddenly consciousness arises. Does anyone think along these lines? Is it not amazing that consciousness, which might remain latent for any length of time, suddenly arises spontaneously?

Questioner: Is universal consciousness ever aware of itself as universal consciousness, or does it become aware only when there is a form?

M: Awareness is not aware of its awareness. If you get too much involved in what I am saying you will throw away the books you are writing, everything.

Q: I will finish the books, then I am finished.

M: [To Jean Dunn] You have promised me that you will complete the books. Universal consciousness will not write the books. How will you write the books?

Q: It will happen spontaneously.


December 8, 1980

Maharaj: I am talking about the consciousness which works through this body at the moment, but which is not visible. This consciousness is not limited to the body but is universal consciousness; I can't speak of anything else now. A person who is already dead is not worried about anything.

Whether the people like it or not doesn't matter. Perhaps you may be getting some blessings, some benefits, from listening to my talks, I don't know.

All my actions are the actions of universal consciousness appearing to work through this body.

I do not remember something from the past and then act; it is all action in the now.

Questioner: Where does consciousness come from?

M: It never comes or goes, it just appears to have come.

Q: Why does Maharaj know this and we do not?

M: It is not difficult for you to know also, but with what identity are you asking?

Q: Is it karmic, can karma be changed?

M: It is all consciousness working, not this one or that one working; it is all consciousness.

Q: Can Maharaj, out of compassion, give me a push into that state of universal consciousness?

M: Yes, of course, I can do that, but you must listen to me, you must have complete faith in whatever I tell you about yourself, and you must behave accordingly.

By nature I am non-manifest, yet I am manifested, but I am really not manifested. Can you live like that, as the non-manifest?

As long as the attribute is there, the quality of the attribute, the "I Am", is there; therefore, I can speak like this. If it goes away, what happens? The sense of "I" has come and has gone, that is all, I am not going to die. One who has rejected this identity will understand.

Q: Maharaj said that he is not going to die?

M: How can one who is not born, die?

When people first learned about this illness, those who have affection for me came to talk tome, or wrote to me, giving advice and medicine. Whatever is to happen will happen, I have no interest. I don't have fear so I don't have to do anything. It is quite in order that those who have affection for me write and come to discuss things with me; I don't listen to them, and that is also quite in order, because I am not afraid of anything.

You are asking, "Who am I?" and you are not going to get an answer, because the one who will get the answer is false. You may have an idea, a concept, and you will think you have found yourself, but it is only a concept; you can never see your Self.

Q: What is sat-chit-ananda?

M: It is words. You can take it that sat-chit-ananda is the limit which your mind can describe of that state which cannot be described. Your true state is non-manifest; the manifestation comes and the words come. The one who experiences sat-chit-ananda is there before the experience.

The pictures on the following pages depict the various moods Maharaj as he responds to his questioners in his simple room which became the place of pigrimage for seekers from countries the world over.


December 15, 1980

Maharaj: Consider the status you have reached if you are able to understand what I say, and if you have understood, there will be no status at all. Your worth cannot be measured. You have done all your homework and now your sadhana or spiritual practice is bearing fruit; now you are here. Let it grow in you. You don't have to go to anybody else after you leave this place; that part of the work has already been done by you. Because you are worthy of that state of realization, you are here today.

Get to know that "I Am" without words which arises in the morning. Knowing the Self, abiding in the Self-knowledge, is not a mere intellectual knowing. You must be that, and you should not move away from it. Remain firm.

Do not consult others about the advice I have given to them. Abide in what I have told only you. Kill that curiosity to know what others are told; to each seeker the appropriate advice is given.

Unless you abide in your own true nature you will not be able to gauge the depth of another's nature. When you try to understand others, the Self-effulgent nature of one's Self should open up completely. You will know yourself in the process. The knowledge being expounded here you will not find in any books. Now, having given you so much, you may see me tomorrow or you may not, that is immaterial, but don't forget what I have told you about your Self.


December 18, 1980

Questioner: This consciousness is like a screen, and I am the screen.

Maharaj: Understand what I say without concepts; you are adding new concepts. Now go to zero concepts. There are many spiritual seekers whose aim is to acquire sufficient merit to reach a certain place, such as Heaven or Vaikuntha. I have had no aims except to find out. I was not aware of my awareness, and suddenly I became conscious that I am. Where and how did this consciousness arise on me? That was my enquiry, going back to that state when the presence of phenomena was not there. That is, original knowledge of the original Self. So, I went back, tracing this original Self, and I reached a stage where I wanted to know what my state was before this consciousness arose. That is the destination which I have reached. Brahman, Isvara, God, all these are names given to the consciousness when it is conscious of itself. If you have properly understood this knowledge, what will be your position at the moment of so-called death? It will be watching what is happening. This consciousness gradually loses everything, and ultimately consciousness is no longer conscious of itself. That state cannot be described. It is called Parabrahman, the Supreme Absolute, but that is only a name for communication purposes.

This line of enquiry started when I noticed that from the moment one wakes up until one falls asleep, one is very busy doing something or other. What is it that compels us to do these things?

Because of what does this go on? Then I came to the conclusion that it is my beingness, the fact that I am conscious of existing, which is working throughout the day. That was how my enquiry started.

In the body the indwelling principle is the consciousness. Abiding in the consciousness, it became all manifestation. Now transcendence of the consciousness has also occurred. With the appearance of consciousness, the Absolute knows it is, "I Am". This is the experience. There are other experiences now, in this time factor, but experiences are gradually dropping off, including this primary experience "I Am". It is only the consciousness that is going to disappear, the Absolute is always there.

What a fall! The perfect state, caught up in these experiences, and trying to derive certain benefits out of the experiences.

Q: Is it spontaneous?

M: Yes. Whatever experiences were happening in this field of knowingness, the Ultimate principle got caught up in that. It accepted some experience as itself. Accepting experiences as the truth, it gets more and more involved.


December 22, 1980

Maharaj: Just now I was lying down in the waking state, but with no perceiving or receiving of any words, something like a prior-to-words state.

Now the last traces of personality or individuality have left me. Last year I used to talk to people with a certain affection, but that is not available now. My dwelling place in the grosser world is gone now; presently it is in the subtler sphere, as in space.

The effect of these talks is that you will stabilize in the very source from which the words sprout. Abiding in the dynamic, manifest consciousness is abiding in the words of the Guru. Th meaning of the mantra I have given you is that you are the manifest, dynamic principle, not the body. When you abide in that, you become that.

People think that they are coming here of their own volition, but it is the consciousness which is bringing them here, because the consciousness wants this knowledge.

My talks are addressed to the consciousness, "You have identified with the body, but you are not the body." It is knowledge which must understand its own nature, and merge with the knowledge which is its source.

People come here and ask for blessings; they don't understand that the knowledge that one is not the body, but the consciousness within, is the blessing.


December 25, 1980

Questioner: When we are busy with our worldly jobs, what should we keep in mind?

Maharaj: Because the "I Am" principle is there, it is moving all over. To recognize it, you put on various uniforms in order to give it an identity, but that principle is already there, and because of that principle you are engaging in various activities. Unless you wear the uniform (the body) you will not be able to conduct any activities.

This knowledge is meant for the Isvara principle, which is presently caught up in the illusion that it is the body-mind. You have accepted the identity of the uniform and that identity becomes your ego.

Isvara is the manifest principle by which all activities are carried on. It has no form - the forms are given because of the five elemental play. Now, that principle gets completely lost in the uniform and is recognized by the uniform only. You have the fear of death because you fear losing your identity, the body.

Since the uniform is available to you, by all means use it, but understand that you are not the uniform.

Q: What does one do when the uniform gets troublesome?

M: Recede into your own Self, be one with your true Self.

This "I Amness" enjoys various experiences. It becomes a beggar or a King.

Is this body eternal? The body has been changing all during your life, which identity is you?

Q: I identify myself with my body, I know that.

M: Who?

Q: I do.

M: Give me a photograph of the meaning of that word "I". You can't. That principle has no name or form or shape. My firm conclusion is that whatever is done through the uniform is perishable, it is not going to remain. Which uniform has any permanency? Once you know that you are not the form or the name of that uniform, it is all over. Suppose you have hoarded some thousand-rupee notes and suddenly the government order comes that they are all invalidated.

Once you discard this "I Amness" uniform, what remains is the Parabrahman. That which is eternally current is the Parabrahman.

Q: Will Maharaj help me discard my uniform?

M: What is the need? It is not eternal, it never was.

Q: We have not discarded ours, that is the problem.

M: Now, tell me, when the knowingness was not there, what experiences did you have? That little touch of "I Amness" and you felt the existence of yourself and the world.

Q: How to give up this knowingness?

M: Where is the need? If you accept that uniform as yourself, then the question of giving it up will be there. Give up your identity with the body, try to know yourself.

It is merely knowingness, you cannot perceive that state. You come here because you are ignorant, not because you are knowledgeable. This knowledge I give is only to remove ignorance.

December 26, 1980Maharaj: Out of what is the body created?

Questioner: It is an expression of consciousness.

M: Is this body not composed of the five elements? You know that you exist; does not this knowledge depend on the five elements? The consciousness cannot be known without the body. It depends on the form.

Q: Do you mean that without the body I do not know that I cm?

M: That is correct. From your own experience, not what you have heard or read, can you know that you exist without the body?

Q: I exist without this body.

M: Forget about what you have read. When you did not have the experience of this body, did you have the experience of being?

Q: My English is not very good, I cannot express it, but I know "I Am."

M: Before you were born, could you have felt or sensed or known that you exist? A jnani is free because he sees that the body is made up of the five elements and it works according to the nature of these elements. I see that body, but I am not concerned with whatever that body does. There is nothing in it with which I can identify. The essence of the combination of the five elements is the sense of being, of existing. It has all come simultaneously, I have no part in it. Feeling that I am present depends on having a body; I am neither the body nor the conscious presence.

In this body is the subtle principle "I Am"; that principle witnesses all this. You are not the words. Words are the expression of space, they are not yours. Still further, you are not that "I Am".

Q: What am "I" then?

M: Who is asking?

Q: There is nothing here, no "I"?

M: Who is asking this?

Q: There is a sense of something, I don't know what it is.

M: If you feel that sense of something, can it be the truth? When this consciousness goes into oblivion, who is to say what that state is?

Q: I don't know.

M: Because your "I Amness" is not there, you do not know yourself. When you began knowing that you are, you did a lot of mischief, but when the "I Am" is not there, there is no question of mischief.

Q: Is the "I Am" there all the time, as long as my body is there?

M: The "I Am" is absent only in the state of samadhi, when the self merges into the Self.

Otherwise, it will be there. In the state of a realized person the "I Am" is there; he just doesn't give much importance to it. A jnani is not guided by a concept.

Q: Do we have a relationship, Maharaj, when I think I should be here with you?

M: The very thought is the relationship.

Q: The intensity of my longing to be here made me wonder if Maharaj thinks of his disciples?

M: I think of them more than you know.


December 30, 1980

Questioner: I think there should be beauty in the whole manifestation.

Maharaj: You should not get involved in what has appeared. Take a tree - the bark, the leaves, the blossoms, the fruit, all have a different nature. If you get involved in the appearance of these, you will lose sight of the source, the tree.

Intellectually, you have understood, but you have to be one with it, you have to identify with what you have understood. Understand that the seed of this body is the sperm of the father mixed with the ovum of the mother. That is the seed for the manifestation of the phenomena, but I am not the seed, I am not the phenomena, nor am I the consciousness which is time-bound.

The names and forms which you see are consciousness only. Your consciousness is very pure and that's why you are able to judge. The Atman is colorless, but it is able to judge colors, etc.

Your sadhana is over; you have reached this place.

This knowledge is for those who have no desires. The Self-knowledge is the most precious knowledge.

To you who search for the Self I explain this type of knowledge. I lead you to a state where there is no hunger, no desire, therefore I am not inclined to invite those who are worried about their possessions and their relations to listen to my talks.

When you have knowledge you see that the consciousness "I" is all-pervasive, as long as the consciousness is there; but the witness of the consciousness has no "I Am" and that is your true, eternal nature.

"I love" gives rise to great joy, and at the same time there is nothing so miserable as "I love".

Giving up the body is a great festival for me.

What is the worth of all the activities of human beings? It is all entertainment, just to pass time.

You get pleasure only when you forget yourself; in deep sleep you have forgotten yourself, that itself is joy.

It is the Atman, not the personality, that is drawn to spirituality.

I will not expound knowledge in the future; a few words here and there will be all.

Share: