This blog is going, nobody is reading but who cares. I urge you to look at yourself and awake. The confusion is all around but understand, your feelings mainly depends of how do you see yourself in relation to the world, nothing else.
This world has taught us nothing, Have you see this by now? It is false, full of lies and untrue to the core. You have nothing to learn from the world. You have nothing to learn from the people living here. They are just like you, suspended in between the life they want and the life that they've been leading.
I understand poor people, I understand their frustration and depression. In the 21 century of this bullshit society there are millions of kids and families who have not enough to eat, who have no residence...
I would expect rich people to be happy but they're not. Apathy, melancholy, loneliness surrounds them. They feel sadness and the emptiness of existence.
According to (so stupid) research about the happiest countries in the world, and comparing it with the countries that use the most antidepressant medication you can notice in the first 10 of "the happiest" are 8 countries that use the most anti-depressants.
Is it illogical or what? Based on this, you may conclude that anti-depressant medications are source of happiness.
I have concluded that you are stubbornly, cling to future, a fantasy, as an escape route from the present. The hope is a path of a destruction of the present moment. You project your hopes and fears into the future and run after anything you imagine you need.
You're hoping that you will get something valuable in this life that you can hold on to, preferably forever. It is a nice way of saying that you're unhappy of not having it. Over and over, new things become the old things and, as the moment of pleasure passes, you once again start looking for the next new thing.
You say - that's the life... but it is not!
Ohhh, after 60 things are weird!
Do you remember, you've been told since childhood that being a grown-up is awesome. And maybe now that you're an adult, you're still waiting for the awesome part.... Well, it won't come!
As a child you believed that when you grow up, you can do whatever you want, but as you got older, you lost that confidence. Somewhere in the process of education you were tamed to a different kind of being.
In 20s you hope something will come. It was right after the corner, but it had never came.
Whatever life you have, in 30s you are always talking about truth. Whatever you occupy yourself with, you think that it leads somewhere, moves you toward some goal, that there is meaning in it.
When you rich 40s, you think you already know so many "truths", like it were toilet paper or something and you got a supply in the closet.
But what you learn, as you go beyond 50, is there ain't no truth. You clearly see that the meaning, once you cherished so preciously, was just a creation of your imagination where everything was real... but not true.
After 60 there is nothing left... except your aim in life, if you are lucky to have it.
You're no longer certain what your purpose is
Your relatives and friends start disappearing from your life. Seeing the dear people vanishing from your world, you may feel somewhat alienated, what drove you in the 30s and 40s no longer drives you in 60s.
Yup, all there is is a bullshit, pardon my vulgarity here. Layers of it. One layer of bullshit on top of another. And what you do in life, you pick the layer of bullshit that you prefer and that's your bullshit, so to speak...
Look at me, everything what I do is a folly in regard to myself and my world because nothing matters. Certain things in your life matter to you because you feel important. For me, not a single thing is important any longer, neither my acts nor the acts of anyone that I know. Really, it doesn't matter to me that nothing matters.
Do not believe a word I say. See it for yourself. You do not have to go anywhere. Just where you are right now, begin to spend time diving within yourself, watching your life.
Witness your own bullshit
You've earned your degree, you've a series of letters after your name. You've passed your exams, found a job, got married, had children, and then you became like a machine. You're fearful, anxious, frightened of life. You're tied to your job and to your responsibilities and this is a way in which you'll gradually wither away.
You've stated drinking, you're self-medicating. You've got your pills or booze or both, and you take massive doses of caffeine during each day.
Never happy, always busy and tired and preparing for the next thing. Weekends are actually worse because that's when everything that didn't get done during the week had to be done. Cleaning, shopping, kid's stuff.
Money, power, prestige, high heels, sure whatever defines you, however you describe yourselves, think of yourself, project yourself... every feature, every trait, characteristic, feeling, belief, opinion, all of it, your self-ness... is all worthless. Just a costume. The false self which does not exist.
Perhaps the deepest reason why we are afraid of death is because we do not know who we are. We believe in a personal, unique, and separate identity - but if we dare to examine it, we find that this identity depends entirely on an endless collection of things to prop it up: our name, our 'biography, - our partners, family, home, job, friends, credit cards... It is on their fragile and transient support that we rely for our security. So when they are all taken away, will we have any idea of who we really are? -Sogyal Rinpoche
Sooner than later, you will see that the frightening nature of being old leaves you no alternative but to choose with whom you share your time.
Fortunately, every beginning has an end
Realize that your death is the only real friend that will be with you until the very end. Without the awareness of death buddy, you are just an ordinary, complaining man involved in daily activities without sense.
Die in your mind, while you're still alive, not unconsciously in a hospital bed. If you make yourself deprived of illusions, imagination and hopes - if you're deprived of your interests, cares and expectations - your world would collapse, you would become empty, hopeless and alone. It is the right place to be, a great start in direction of dying into mind.
The world without imagination is the death of "you", the death of everything it consisted of you as a person, the destruction of all bullshit collected through your ignorance and inexperience.
What is wrong with right now?
What is wrong with the present moment? Nothing wrong! And it is always like that.
All there is is the present moment. If you just stop for a moment, relax, and simply become aware of the present, there may arise the recognition of life as it should be.
Your life is your certainty of who you are, how you take yourself. You can live fully in the certainty of present moment, because it is complete, perfect, and it is what it is.
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