No more travelling

In the last three years I travelled a lot and I visited many places, I was on 4 continents, however I would like you to know that I was never fond of travelling at all. I did it mainly because I wanted to be with my wife (in those days long distance relationship girlfriend) , to have fun, adventure and to be close to her. Where I was with her, it was not really my concern.

Now, I am living with my wife so travelling is not needed anymore. I had it enough.

For me, the happiness is easy and effortless. The constant traveling is actually searching for something better than what we have at the present moment. The very act of planning and waiting for always new travel, so effectively stop us to recognize life for what it is.

What would you do if you have a bunch of money and free time?

Oh never mind, the first thing you have in mind is to travel: “Oh, I’d love to see New York!”, Paris, Australia, Zanzibar... Or Whateverland. You want to stroll down through well known avenues or hang out on a faraway beach, maybe drinking some tropical, sweet cocktails.

I have a friend who read Eat, Pray, Love, which is a story about a woman’s travels and as soon as she finished the book, she got online and made reservations to go to visit the same countries. I have another friend who read 50 Shades of Gray and as soon as he finished the book, he got online... oh well, that is another story not for this blog.

Hey, how about my neighbor, a retired worker of Air Canada? He has discount for air tickets and he is doing a lot of traveling. He spend more time on the airports and hotels in a month than me in a whole year. But if you ask me, he is a completely nut case.

2021- 2025 Travelling the world with my wife

Do you like to travel?

It appears that everyone likes travel and you're not an exception. Well, I’m the only who doesn’t love it which makes me what - a freak, in a way. It’s like hating Christmas (which I admit I do) or weddings (which I despise) or African savannah (???) or kittens (which I don't hate. Who hates kittens? Fuck!).

It took me a long time to admit that I don't like to travel. In fact, I'm pretty close to saying I hate it. For years I said I liked it without really thinking about it, because I had the vague sense that it was part and parcel of being an educated, intelligent person. Right now I'm sure that I'm not so intelligent so I can freely say if I have to travel, it mostly feels like punishment.

I can't stand air flights? It is just waiting. First you wait to give your suitcases and to get a boarding pass. Then you wait to enter the plane, then you wait for take off. Then you sit in a dirty plane smelling dirty socks, looking at the small screen until your eyes hurt...

When you arrive, you wait to get out, then you wait border control and your suitcases. If all is without any problems you were waited almost 10 hours from Toronto to Amsterdam.

I did travel, of course. I visited my home country the last 25 years in a row. I liked seeing my family and friends back home, and in last 3 years I wanted to be with my love but recently, things has changed.

This morning I am in a bad mood. I have no desire to visit neither Serbia nor Europe anymore. Nothing of that has any value. The coping with the horror of flying for the fun of visiting my home country is over.

Why does travel matter?

It's a common belief that the travels, seeing other places and passing through the experience matters. I heard it before, "we are here, we're living this life to gain experience". Not really. You are living this life because you don't have anything else to do. At the end of your life you will forget everything.

I have no excitement seeing new places. Exploring streets, wandering though city, checking out the restaurants, museums etc. it's all nothing to me.

I came to understand this more deeply. Each passing day is like a lesson, emphasizing how I perceive events as they fade into the past. It’s not the event itself but how I process it that truly matters.

I am not living, thinking that the world is a logical and consistent place. Not at all. Whenever I was I saw the same struggle to survive. Whatever place I visited I felt loneliness of ignorant people. The busiest place in Europe for me was Barcelona's Cataluña square, with so many lost people with the acute feeling of busyness mixed with sadness and misery.

The misery comes from an idea that the new place is true. You assume that if the world is true then you are also true. This self-importance is the main reason for your feelings of depression, sadness, emptiness, and anxiety.

Life has taught me one thing: there’s no time to waste. Awakening from the slumber of complacency is urgent. Now that I know the truth, I feel a deeper sense of freedom to live fully to play, dance, cry, laugh, and embrace the intensity of life, here and now. There is no other place to go.