I’ve always led a quiet, solitary life. Before my wife moved in with me, I
didn’t watch TV, no news, no Netflix, nothing. But life has shifted since we
started living together, and I’m no longer alone.
The main goal of my life is Self-Realization, Enlightenment, Moksha,
Liberation. I’m continuing with a single-pointed focus on my life’s goal. My
path is clear. It’s about staying anchored in the awareness of the "I AM"
amidst all activities, setting aside self-concerns, dedicating time to yoga,
and revisiting the spiritual teachings.
I often change my mind and I don't do things I say I will do. It is true, it
is because the promise I made was done by my personality in the moment when I
was willing to promise anything just to gain respect, like or love from
others.
I am able to see my flaws but I have no clue how to change this kind of
behavior. It's look impossible. Events go, I say stupid things regardless of
my intention not to, regardless of my approval, words just flow out of my
mouth.
My struggle isn’t unique. Everyone fights with tendencies, insecurities, and
desires to some extent. But genuine transformation doesn’t come from force or
frustration. It requires gentle, persistent, and constant awareness.
I know well that real change will not happen through force, but through
gentle, persistent and constant awareness. The self-realization isn’t about
eradicating flaws but being of who I am beneath them.
There are no rules how I should behave in this world however, and yet, it is
good to follow some guidance in order to remind me and keep me in line with my
life's goal.
1. Self - Awareness
Contrary to our beliefs, there are really only two things in universe; world
(perception) and existence (awareness). To take interest in what has happened
is to get involved in worldly affairs. That leads to nowhere.
At all time I should be aware of "I AM sense" and separate the sense of
presence from my thoughts and words. Whatever I do, I have to be aware of my
existence.
My attention should be placed in the sense of presence and not on my
individual self. It is not self-observation where I have to observe my
thoughts and feelings, it is actually forgetting my personal "I" and acting in
the world. Performance is what matters and not the performer.
2. Detachment from personality
The key of self-realization lies in DOING JUST NOTHING. It is the road across
boredom, melancholy and depression. Activities create misery, worry and
anxiety and they are included in the world. Being aware and let things happen
on their own natural way is the key.
I want to detach myself from others and stand alone. Let's do things that must
be done without engaging in something new. To do something is restlessness of
the personality - identification with the body. It is the habit of
ignorance, the habit of engaging in some activity all the time. I have to
learn to leave people and things as they are.
I have to pay special attention to things that make me angry and investigate
why something insults me and be completely free of anger. Usually the anger
comes when my expectations are not met. The surge of anger indicates my habit
of wanting to dictate things to others.
3. Compassion and humility
Generally talking, I'm completely and utterly alone. I have to forgive those
who don't understand me and out of their own ignorance try to harass me.
Generally I don't harbor hatred towards anyone. I have never had desire to
take revenge because that results only in misery. I should not create enemies,
rather forgive and move on.
Life is tough, not only for me but for everyone on this planet. There is no
need to define why it is so, it just is. I need to be kind to others.
Compassion is nothing else but stopping saying cruel words to anybody.
I am satisfied with what I have. The rich is not the one who has a lot but the
one who needs less. I am not greedy, not even for spiritual knowledge.
4. Performance is all that matters
Humor, flexibility, and being "large" from the very core of my heart is the
key for happiness. Acting with lightness, humor, radiating energy of happiness
and letting others take it, enjoying whatever I'm doing.
In reality, whatever I've seen and experienced means nothing. Nothing has ever
happened. To gain Self-Realization, the world has to be left as it is. Even
the world is false, yet I indulge in it. That shows my doubts and spiritual
immaturity.
Illusion is nothing. However much I may have achieved in this world, yet all
is false.
To leave the world as it is, is the great act of courage. Fear underlines
misery. I should be free of any fear knowing who I Am and enjoying it while it
lasts. As awareness, I'm free and I should behave like that.
These are four simple rules of my behavior. It is all directed towards
Self-Realization. To be one with my true nature is happiness. Being happy,
leaving others as they are. I'll not judge anyone and I'll stop all gossip
around me. The real fact is that I don't consider people's actions as
important.
That's it.
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