Women after 50 want flowers

Slowly, in a gradual manner, I came to realize that my understanding of women goes only as far as sex is concerned.

In the period of 2 years after my divorce in 2013 and 2014, I conducted an extensive research program in the field of female sexuality. I focused my research on a primary sexual strategy of a short-term dating.

A man could lose his identity fucking around too much. ― Charles Bukowski
First, I've carefully observed the married life. This email exactly describe it, it a short summary of married life's sex. I got it in 2014 from a frustrated, 45 old, married woman, let her remain anonymous...
I like sex. I have been married for 15 years, but my husband has never sexually attracted me. We hang out nicely with our three children, we support each other and we have a lot of friends, but we don't match sexually.

His body has never been attractive to me. It never excited me. We didn’t have sex while we were in a relationship, but we waited to do it in marriage. It never occurred to me that it would be so bad.

In 14 years, I had one or two orgasms with him. I faked them until I realized it didn’t help anyone. He is intimately delighted with me, and that irritates me because it is by no means mutual.

If I tried to talk to him about it, he would tell me that there was nothing wrong with him and that I would relax if we did it more often. However, while we were in bed, I would have to tell him what to do and in what way, and that started to bother me.

I recently ran into my ex-boyfriend and the very thought of him triggers feelings I can’t shake off, so today I’m dissatisfied, sexually frustrated, angry and thinking about adultery.

What should I do?
I have thought that female sexual psychology was complex but the female sexual behavior can be traced only on two things - the two big O - ovulation and orgasm.

The hidden rhythms of the ovulation cycle is directly related to women's sexual desire. The orgasm, once thought by many scientists to be function-less, turned out to be the one of the most important accomplishments (and why not say - discoveries) of the 21st century.

We live in the age of female sexual awakening where women don't want to fake orgasm anymore but they are going after real sexual satisfaction.

The reasons why women have sex, ranging from "to get rid of a headache" to "to get closer to God", from "to become emotionally connected with partner" to "to get married to successful man", from "because life is short and we could die at any moment" to "to get my boyfriend to shut up".

Women after 50 are dangerous creatures. They are more or less accomplished beings, kids are grown up, they have nice career, large house, big car. They do not compromise too much, being free, they want freedom.
Once a woman turns against you, forget it. They can love you, then something turns in them. They can watch you dying in a gutter, run over by a car, and they'll spit on you. - Charles Bukowski 
And yet with all my discoveries, I feel that I am still at the beginning of the exploration and I am humbled by how little I still know.  As my research focusing on female sexuality, I'm inherently limited by my male brain.

Although not all women are the same, there are exceptions, but nearly 70% of women of age 50 and up suffer from loss of sexual desire. The sex drive usually decline after the birth of the child, somewhere in late 30ties.

"I just became less and less interested in sex," says 47 years old Lisa mother of two. "Eventually, it wasn't on the agenda at all. Not that I wasn't interested in the idea - but it just didn't do anything for me. My answer was to throw myself wholeheartedly into my business and everything else, so I wouldn't think about the problem."

When a woman loses interest in sex, the impact on her partner is a serious thing.

"There is no question that this is causing depression and a whole host of headaches, pains and other apparently unconnected physical problems," says Mike Perring, a GP and sexual psychotherapist. "Good sex is part of general well-being for most people."

To simplify things, most of the women over 50 are not into sex anymore. They don't feel that way anymore.

In 2019 I had conversation on match.com with a nice looking 40-something lady...

Why she lost her desire for sex is a mystery. The sexual intercourse, sexual desire and in the end the satisfaction... it is disgusting, like animals. Sexual thoughts, erotic fantasies, and daydreams are not on her agenda.

As a teenager said...  "I'm sorry, but I'm really sick of this stupid stereotype. Don't get me wrong, I love pleasing my man with some BJ, but I don't fucking want flowers." Women after 40... what about those in their 50ties? They do want flowers.