Let me tell you the basic truth, you are fucked up. Perhaps you can call
it as your human's predilection.
The basic emotion of you have on
this planet is sadness. The sadness comes from a deep knowledge of wasted
time. Basically, you, just like anyone else, on this planet, lead a cold and
lonely life without feelings because your psychology is based on wrong
socializing, wishful thinking and imagination.
You do not love
this world. You have forgotten to embrace it with heart. The earth knows that
and it treats you like as an alien. That's why you feel sadness, wherever you
are, your existence is painful. You roam on this world without love and
heart.
This is the predilection of a human being. This earth, this
world and your existence.
I don't count myself anymore in the
general pack of people. I'm a lone wolf.
Yesterday, I was standing
on Bloor street waiting for my friend to get Starbucks coffee. Besides me were
a girl with a dog, some German Shepard. From far away a firetruck was
approaching with sirens. The sound of sirens became louder and the dog started
barking...
Then the dog stated howling. I listened. That sound
is the saddest thing you can hear.
That dog's howling resembles a forgotten voice of a man. It maybe comes from a dog but it is actually a voice
of all wrong things in people's life, their sadness, their inner feeling of dissatisfaction.
While firetruck was approaching the dog
pointed his head toward the sky... The whole situation gave me a little shiver
since the sound of a dog was mixed with very loud firetruck sirens. The young
girl took some treats but the dog was not seem to be interested.
That howl of the dog, and the loneliness it creates, speaks
of the feelings of all people. That howl is a “cry for help”...
You
live your entire life like on Sunday afternoon, the afternoon which is not
miserable, but rather wrapped in boredom, dull and uncomfortable. You sweat
and fuss a great deal. But you don't know where to go, or what to do. Your
life, like the Sunday's afternoon, left you only with the memory of petty
annoyances... and then suddenly it is over, it is already night.
And
here, I've reveled to you the secret of life.
What? You want an explanation?
Look at yourself,
you have gotten to the explanation, but it doesn't make any difference that
you know it. You're more alone than ever, because without an unwavering love
for your own being, your sense of presence that gives you shelter, aloneness
is loneliness.
Only the love for your "I AM" sense can give
freedom to your spirit and freedom is joy of living.
You can
go still further than that, you can learn to see things around you. Upon
learning to see you no longer need to have anyone in your life. Upon learning
to see without imagination and projections you become everything by becoming
nothing.
You, so to speak, vanish and yet you're here.
I would say that this is the time when you can be or can get
anything you desire. But you desire nothing, and instead of playing with
people like they are toys, you see their sadness so vividly. The only
difference between you and them is that you know about it, while others don't.
And there you became a lone wolf, like me... you no longer have an
active interest in people and the world. Seeing things as they are has already
detach you from absolutely everything you knew before.
Don't
let the idea of being detached from everything you know give you the chills.
The thing which you should be afraid of is not to have anything to look
forward to but a lifetime of doing that which you have always done.
Think of the loud sirens of the firetruck and a dog and his
barking, your feelings, the best of you, ramble aimlessly between these two.
