Can you go 6 times a week on the mat without thinking of awakening? I don't know. I believe this might not be true but on another hand what is the life about? Is the main goal in life to gain self-realization or so popularly called enlightenment or awakening?
What you actually do when you step on the yoga mat, knowing that or not, is that you search for Your Natural State. It is a state of great sensitivity of being awake, not some kind of emotional compassion or tenderness for others. I digress, yes, there is compassion only in the sense that there are no 'others' for you, and so there is no separation.
Whenever you step on the mat, you are actually interested in enlightenment, and the Ashtanga yoga practice creates the experience, and the experience strengthens practice. The practitioner is nothing but the practice. That is really what's going on.
Bear in mind that there is no such thing as truth. The only thing that is actually here is your logical premise, which you call truth. In Ashtanga practice, you may discover that there is only one solid thought. When you count five breaths in a pose you may clearly see or feel the "I" thought. Everything exists is in relation to that one thought. That thought is 'you' and it doesn't really exist. You will understand that anything you experience based on that thought is the illusion.
99% practice and 1% theory
Practicing Ashtanga yoga, which is boring, dull and hard, does not allow you creativity and wishful thinking. It calls for a complete and total surrender. It is the practice of hopelessness which says that there is no way out... Asana, breath, drishti and vynasas are taking you away from yourself...
Food, clothing, and shelter- these are the basic needs. Beyond that, if you want anything, it is the beginning of self-deception. You see that so clearly in daily Ashtanga practice. Ashtanga yoga is selfish practice. So be selfish and stay selfish is my message. Wanting enlightenment is selfishness.
Obviously, you are not in conflict with the society. Ashtanga yoga force you to accept it as it is and you're not interested in changing it. The demand to bring about a change in illusion isn't there anymore. So, the demand to change the world at large is not there. You suffer with the suffering man and you are happy with the happy man... practicing Ashtanga yoga.
Ashtanga yoga saved you from the very idea that you have to be saved. When you know nothing, you say a lot. When you know something, there is nothing to say. I am always emphasizing that somehow the truth has to dawn upon you that there is only the practice and there is nothing to understand.
What I am trying to say is that by the practice of Ashtanga you will see for yourself that there is no individual there at all. There is only a certain gathering of knowledge, which are thoughts surrounding the basic "I" thought, but no individuality there.
Some of you mistakenly believe that by practicing ashtanga you will somehow miraculously make your life simple and manageable. But, if you are lucky, you will discover that you are not created for any grander purpose than the ants that are there or the flies that are hovering around you or the mosquitoes that are sucking your blood.
Ashtanga yoga takes away the fear that makes you believe that you are living and that you will be dead. What you really want in life is this fear to come to an end. That is why you have involved in all these meditation classes, becoming vegan, reading spiritual articles and talks, accepting various therapies for choice-less awareness and various other gimmicks.
Ashtanga is a very boring practice. And the boredom is a bottomless pit. As long as you think that there is something more interesting, more purposeful, more meaningful in ashtanga than what you are actually doing, you have no way of freeing yourself from boredom.
Ashtanga returns you to the basics... everything you have around you is the creation of your thoughts. You are yourself born out of thought, otherwise, you would not be here at all. Thoughts have a tremendous value, yet it is the very thing that should be destroyed.
Good luck. 😍
A personal blog that covers a variety of topics, including spirituality, personal development, philosophy, and psychology.