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Egomania! So Horrendous but Fascinating

Zee Mark
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Las Vegas, the bullshitest place on Earth

Everything I experienced , everything I have lived so far it turned out to be a lie. Anything that is put into my memory is a lie. Who can guaranty that all I now see, hear, feel or think is just another lie. When I grasp current events as lies, am I really done? Well, until that time, I will continue to do what I do. My stupidity will be by my side enjoying the trip. Well, I might as well enjoy it too. 

Life is not a love story. But it is a story about love, and the power it has over us. The power to heal or destroy. Can you walk away from love? This is where the story begins... 


Beliefs

There's an invisible God living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute, every day. And the invisible God has a special place for you if you don't follow him, the place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and scream and cry forever and ever until the end of time. But... He loves you!

The longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up. 

You believe in God who could make good people as easily as bad, yet he preferred to make the bad ones. 

You believe in God who can make everyone happy, yet he never made a single person happy. Finally, with divine apology, he invites you, a poor, abused slave to worship him. 

You're too busy holding onto God's hand. Thinking how wonderful you are, how sensitive, how unique. You are not unique! You worry just like anyone else, oooh, how you worry, twenty-six hours a day! And what do you worry about?... About "you"! What about "you"? What's in this shit for you? What's gonna happen to you? 

Egomania! So horrendous. But fascinating!


Meditation

Be in the Now, be Present. What a fantastic concept used to fool innocent and naïve people. 

Things are bad enough. The meditative state is the worse. There are numerous self-proclaimed lunatics, so called saints, prophets and saviors who wish to save this world. 

Spirituality is a romantic stuff. The Path!!! Search for truth. The Way... all is romantic bullshit. You will get nothing there, try your luck elsewhere.

I don't believe in spirituality, Mickey Mouse, Disneyland, Kim Kardashian and Celine Dion. (Btw. who listen Celine Dion anyway?) 

The brainwashing all around - education, advertisement, philosophy, religion, sports, politics, spirituality, hope and change. People imagine they are growing, improving, and just like a businessman, they want result, they call it, the return on investment.


Why didn't he fuck her? 
This question continues to bother me until this day. 

Men deal with lots of frustration to get laid. You will wait around for weeks or months until a woman sleeps with you. As time goes by, you absorb woman's bullshit and get more irritated so the fuck, instead of it being an exciting moment, it becomes a game.

But not this guy. This guy portraits insecurity, resentment, frustration, and hope... so on the end, both parties are left miserable when he eventually leaves. And that it is what life's all about. His last words to her were: I know, I'm going to miss you, too.

I am talking about the movie Lost in Translation with Bill Murray and Scarlett Johannson. Sofia Coppola directed the movie back in 2003. I am surprised that this movie is almost 20 years old. 

It is about our loneliness and isolation. Even thousands of people surrounds you, you are unaware of their existence, you are lonely, isolated, hopelessly living your pity life, missing something.

And then, at a hotel bar, you meet a stranger and start talking about marriages, your happiness and the meaning of it all. These conversations can really only be held with strangers. When drinking is involved, everything is possible until you hear she says "I feel like I've known you for years"... all the chances are you will get lucky and have sex together. 

Funny, how things are simple in this bittersweet life, a sad comedy.

I don't like this movie. I don't like hope. I hate karaoke bars and I despise Bob because being funny is what he does for a living, and right there with Charlotte, he is too tired and sad to do anything.

No, life is not a love story. But it is a story about love. About those who give in to it, and the price they pay. And those who run away from it because they are afraid... because they do not believe they are worthy of it.

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