Remember to change your point of view!
It's already Sunday, 1 hour rolled back, I am awake and poised to write an
amazing post. Every post here is a small peace of art. You need to read it
carefully, sometimes my message is hidden in the photos, sometimes it is there
in the first sentence.
I only want to make you thinking from another point of view. That's all. Most
of the time I disappoint you because I intentionally do not offer the answers.
There are no answers there are only questions.
If there is any correct answer on any particular question it is - you were
wrong about it!
After my divorce in July 2013, I started living on my own. 2 days after my
arrival in new apartment I ordered books from amazon about psychosynthesis. I
got them in the same week and I started study of the subject.
I bought the books: Psychosynthesis: A Psychology of the Spirit, Psychosynthesis: A Collection of Basic Writings, The Primal Wound: A Transpersonal View of Trauma, Addiction, and Growth
Psychosynthesis is a relatively new subject in psychology that expands the
boundaries of the field by identifying a deeper center of identity, the Self.
It considers each individual unique in terms of purpose in life, and places
value on the exploration of human potential. The approach combines spiritual
development with psychological healing by including the life journey of an
individual or their unique path to self-realization.
For me at that time it was important to move on from divorce trauma. I was
finished with Gurdjief's work, Self-remembrance and self-observation were
already part of my daily habits and there is nothing for me new there. I moved
from The Fourth Way. I was going my own path and somehow the psychosynthesis
was a natural thing to study.
In a nutshell the framework of psychosynthesis is based on Freud's theory of
the unconscious and addresses psychological wounds and conflicts such as
remorse and guilt.
They say, all starts with the present moment, where we're in our life. We are
not conscious that we are just fulfilling roles and not living at all. We
simply do not know who or what we are.
We wear a lot of different masks. They are our responsibilities. You might
wear a professional mask at work. Or at home you wear a daughter or son mask
as the parent. A mother or father mask when working with your kid, and a
spousal mask when communicating with the spouse. Thus, you play various roles
in life.
Those masks and roles are not the problem, the real problem is that you
identify yourself with those masks. You take yourself to be the mask, but
you're not that.
There are other masks and costumes you wear, which run much deeper, for they
are those by which you typically identify yourself. So, for example, you might
describe yourself as a caring person. Or, you might say that you're
procrastinator, you leave everything for tomorrow, you can't seem to get a
grip on things.
These and other identifying masks includes your behaviors, thoughts, opinions
and even, perhaps, your general feelings - moods. But they are something
external, there is somebody in you who has these feelings. Who is the "you"
that is happy, satisfied or exhausted, depressed, morose?
Some very popular role in society you may be playing is the Victim role, in
which you feel pretty much victimized by all of life, and in fact finds
yourself involved with abusive people and situations quite frequently.
The most important thing to know about these roles: They are not real. They do
not define "you" who is living in, and hiding under them. They are masks and
costumes made at an early age as a copy/paste mechanism. Once you're in the
role, you slowly over time began to identify with the role. You behavior
becomes patterned by the role followed by your thoughts and finally emotions
so the roles start to define you? It makes perfect sense, isn't it?
I study Psychosynthesis couple of years, until I discovered Ramana Maharshi
who finally told me that I am nothing perceivable, I am not this and not that.
He is the fist one to describe my Self to me. I am so grateful to him. Later I
study Nisargadatta Maharaj and Ranjit Maharaj. I take them as my spiritual
teachers.
I was so lucky that I studied Psychosynthesis. I learned on that time that we,
divorced people, are forced to change our roles entirely, becoming wholly
different people after the marriage breakup. How did that happen? If the roles
actually do define us then how can a life crisis allow us to become a
completely different than that described by the previous life?
‘De-roling’ is simply how to get yourself out of character once you’ve finished performing. It’s the process of drawing a line between your character’s world and your everyday life.
Often this process is quite simple; you walk off set, or leave the theatre venue, and get yourself home.
If a role isn’t particularly emotionally demanding or doesn’t deal with traumatic themes, your de-roling process may not require specific attention at all. You may already be undertaking certain behavior and habits that allow you to de-role quite seamlessly.
But occasionally, a role requires a fair bit of emotional labor, or a theme within the story you’re telling is particularly dark, heavy, or even traumatic to address.
For screen, you may be required to go real deep real quick, and for theatre, you’re required to sustain intense emotions in performance night after night (or day after day) over a long period of time.
~ Violette Ayad - How to De-Role: 8 Techniques for Getting Out of Character
The psychosynthesis convinced me that I was on the right spiritual path... But
I'll write more about it in the next days.
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