Get Out of Your Roles

The preparation for Yoga Fish Pose.
Remember to change your point of view!

It's already Saturday, 1 hour passed midnight, I am awake and poised to write an amazing post. Every post here is a small peace of art. You need to read it carefully, sometimes my message is hidden in the photos, sometimes it is there in the first sentence.

I've made blog in PDF format. I will update the fie every 3 months. Last update: January 13, 2023, you can download it here:
I only want to make you thinking from another point of view. That's all. Most of the time I disappoint you because I intentionally do not offer the answers. There are no answers there are only questions.

If there is any correct answer on any particular question it is - you were wrong about it!

After my divorce in July, 10 years ago, I started living on my own. I remember, 2 days after my arrival in new apartment I ordered books from amazon about psychosynthesis. I got them in the same week and I started study of the subject.

Psychosynthesis is a relatively new subject in psychology that expands the boundaries of the field by identifying a deeper center of identity, the Self. It considers each individual unique in terms of purpose in life, and places value on the exploration of human potential. The approach combines spiritual development with psychological healing by including the life journey of an individual or their unique path to self-realization.

For me at that time it was important to move on from divorce trauma. I was finished with Gurdjief's work, Self-remembrance and self-observation was part of my daily habits and there is nothing for me new there. I moved on from The Fourth Way. I was going my own path and somehow the psychosynthesis was a natural thing to study.

In a nutshell the framework of psychosynthesis is based on Freud's theory of the unconscious and addresses psychological wounds and conflicts such as remorse and guilt.

They say, all starts with the present moment, where are we in our life. We are not conscious that we are just fulfilling roles and not living at all. We simply do not know who or what we are.

We wear a lot of different masks. They are our responsibilities. You might wear a professional mask at work. Or at home you wear a daughter or son mask as the parent. A mother or father mask when working with your kid, and a spousal mask when communicating with the spouse. Thus, you play various roles in life.

Those masks and roles are not the problem, the real problem is that you identify yourself with those masks. You take yourself to be the mask, but you're not that.

There are other masks and costumes you wear, which run much deeper, for they are those by which you typically identify yourself. So, for example, you might describe yourself as a caring person. Or, you might say that you're procrastinator, you leave everything for tomorrow, you can't seem to get a grip on things.

These and other identifying masks includes your behaviors, thoughts, opinions and even, perhaps, your general feelings - moods. But they are something external, there is somebody in you who has these feelings. Who is the "you" that is happy, satisfied or exhausted, depressed, morose? 

Some very popular role in society you may be playing is the Victim role, in which you feel pretty much victimized by all of life, and in fact finds yourself involved with abusive people and situations quite frequently. 

The most important thing to know about these roles: They are not real. They do not define "you" who is living in, and hiding under them. They are masks and costumes made at an early age as a copy/paste mechanism. Once you're in the role, you slowly over time began to identify with the role. You behavior becomes patterned by the role followed by your thoughts and finally emotions so the roles start to define you? It makes perfect sense, isn't it?

I study Psychosynthesis couple of years, until I discovered Ramana Maharshi who finally told me that I am nothing perceivable, I am not this and not that. He is the fist one to describe my Self to me. I am so grateful to him. Later I study Nisargadatta Maharaj and Ranjit Maharaj. I take them as my spiritual teachers.

I was so lucky that I studied Psychosynthesis. I learned on that time that we, divorced people, are forced to change our roles entirely, becoming wholly different people after the marriage breakup. How did that happen? If the roles actually do define us then how can a life crisis allow us to become a completely different than that described by the previous life?
‘De-roling’ is simply how to get yourself out of character once you’ve finished performing. It’s the process of drawing a line between your character’s world and your everyday life. Often this process is quite simple; you walk off set, or leave the theatre venue, and get yourself home. If a role isn’t particularly emotionally demanding or doesn’t deal with traumatic themes, your de-roling process may not require specific attention at all. You may already be undertaking certain behavior and habits that allow you to de-role quite seamlessly. But occasionally, a role requires a fair bit of emotional labor, or a theme within the story you’re telling is particularly dark, heavy, or even traumatic to address. For screen, you may be required to go real deep real quick, and for theatre, you’re required to sustain intense emotions in performance night after night (or day after day) over a long period of time. ~  Violette Ayad - How to De-Role: 8 Techniques for Getting Out of Character
The psychosynthesis convinced me that I was on the right spiritual path... But I'll write more about it in the next days. Stay tuned and wait for it.