You may say that true love exists and you're quire right. There is love that is very unique but human beings are repetitive creatures, they are making the same mistakes over and over again.
I am trying to discover what love is and describe it... if I 'm wrong so be it.
The love we know at the age of 20 is not the same as the one at the age of 30, and especially not the one at the age of 40 or much less in 50s.
The love in 20s
When you are young, you somehow quickly stick to average. Well, without thinking about how much partner's worth, what parents are like, whether there is a mental disorder in the family or not... you just dive into that love, lose your head.
And even if you don't have anything in common, it doesn't matter - it's important that sex is good. And if you break up after a year, it also passes easily, with angry messages, calls and drunken nights with the friends. You may promise yourself that you will never get over it, that you will suffer but that suffering is not something that really lasts.
And then you meet someone new, you fall in love again, beyond measure and you love him, he loves you... until your or his feelings fade away. The same pattern repeats until somewhere in your 30s you realize that love simply does not exist.
You have started to think that love is the delusion and that you will never fall in love, that you are done with men, that you know them very well and that you don't need them...
And then you meet some guy over there. He's your friend first. You're not in love with losing your head, you're fine. You need a person with whom everything is simple, and he is just like that - nothing complicates, the relationship is easy.
The married love
You're 32 now and you're thinking with your brain. You need someone to build a family with and convince yourself that it is Love. Now everything is as it should be: respect and trust. But there is something missing, so...
A child was born. You convince yourself that everything is fine now and that is how it should be.
And then one evening, while he is taking a shower, you notice that messages are coming to him. One after another. Even though you don't have a habit, you pick up the phone and open the message. Someone's boobs pops up in front of you and the text: "Do you like it?"
Hell is on its way. Everything is falling apart. He says that it is nothing serious, just a flirtation, that it doesn't last long, that he will give it all up... But, you start thinking about divorce but you will do nothing about it.
You simply can't understand what's happening to you. He has a child with you, you are a family. The fact that he doesn't have that passion like in the movie doesn't matter, because the movie is a lie, it's all a lie...
The years go by, you're close to 40. Sex? Well we practice it. Yes, we have sex. Maybe not every month, but when it was, we definitely had sex last month. Aren't we?
That's normal - you convince yourself. The hormones have calmed down, you already have a big child, you live harmoniously. The main thing is to have a family, that everything inside the house is calm and stable. Your love is like that.
I strongly urge you to get a family lawyer who can give you appropriate information about divorce...
The love after divorce
And suddenly, like thunder from a clear sky, you meet him. On the Internet. At work. At a parent interview meeting. A new colleague came to the firm. It doesn't matter how you met him, but you feel - you are afraid.
You can't get it out of your head for three days because you feel: he's your man. He's the man for you. You are angry with yourself, the lack of sex makes your head spinning.
But, everything is there, as if you were a kid: butterflies in your stomach, pheromones hit your head, your heart beats at the very thought of him...
And then you somehow connect, so you talk about everything, for hours, days, you correspond. You don’t sleep at night, but nothing is hard for you.
This is not a love story but it is a story about love
When a husband leaves people are quiet but when a woman leaves husband they are so concerned, well How does she left him, she has children? Two kids. They say she fell in love. and the whole family spits on her. How can she fall in love? If this was a seventeenth century, they would stone her.
I know examples when a woman was in a bad relationship but she did not go for divorce. She has faill in love but she stayed with her husband. Apparently they were a happy family. But when you look a little deeper, they lived like two zombies.
The relationship problems were not be mentioned, adultery was a dangerous word, a word that would trigger an avalanche in the house. They lied to themselves but heir souls had knew what suffering they were going through.
And both of them went to church and prayed a good old days, but there is no going back.
And that is why I tell you, love at the age of 20 is not love, it is just infatuation. The love in 30s is a tricky, shaggy, shallow, married love. It changes your life forever, the marriage is nothing but a prison for the soul.
And the love in 40s, well, that is a bitter love, that love hurts the most! And it is wonderful and painful, it puts you in trouble.
The love after 40 requires payment - to be with the loved one or to stay alone (after divorce) for the sake of the freedom... adventure or peace of mind - but in both cases you will pay for it bitterly!
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