I begin today's post with a mild irritation. The YouTube project is going nowhere. I have a story to tell but I have no views. But so what, who cares!
I'm thinking right now, so far I lived my life as though I'm an elite star of the Hollywood show that is my life... that from my perspective I am a central to everything that happens in it, and that other people are just supporting me or being just incidental extras, directing, flexing and changing my imagined character.
Tonight I see that this "I'm the star of the show" perspective is quite wrong.
I should erase this stupid belief from my head because this idea easily set off into the idea that I am the star of everyone's show.
I have stated considering perspectives and actions of people that are closed to me, that they somehow all relate to me in some way. Which is not true. At all.
Yesterday, I was on my emotional bottom, acting childishly and being stubborn. I simply fall under the illusion that I am the star in other people's shows so things felt pretty personal pretty quickly.
When someone talks loudly on their cell phone in line I was thinking they are being inconsiderate of me, me - the star of the show, when in fact they were thinking they are the star in their show. In fact, they really just want to talk on their phone.
When someone doesn't get back to me I taught they were being disrespectful to me, again me - the star of the show, when in fact they are their own star having lots of things to do which I know nothing about.
You may be thinking, all of that behavior is rude and inconsiderate however you are not right. I'm not the star of their show attitude saves a whole lot of frustration and negative energy. Nothing really is about me personally...
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