A Life of Meditation and Discipline

I got married for the second time in January this year but my wife was living in Belgrade while I was here in Toronto. So far we were just married on the paper we did not live together except a brief periods of travel or when she was visiting. That's going to change. On Wednesday, July 31, she is coming to live with me. My married life finally starts.

I am neither afraid nor I have second thoughts about my new life. I am so tired of my current routines I mean being alone and irresponsible for daily activities, drinking too much, smoking a lot and generally being so lazy.

I welcome her in my life with an open heart. It was really so difficult for me all these months without her. It is so stupid being married and being without wife. So our long distance relationship is ending on Wednesday.

A wedding that’s shown in the movies, seems like everything is so glittery, hopeful and happy. But, real life begins when the excitement dies down in everyday life, there it hit us that we are truly married to each other. 

Without efforts, nothing lasts and nothing remains. Two people who were complete strangers, get together by the circumstances... and all complication starts. Married life must start with love.

If something ties the relationship it is love, admiration, appreciation, intimacy, passion...

The marriage is not the key to happiness!

The marriage is an institution of family life is not a key to happy life. You have to work hard, be honest, supportive and have a respect to your spouse.

According to wedding toasts, romantic movies, love songs, and various religious texts, the marriage is meant to last forever. Can you imagine? Nothing less but forever. And that is a long, long time. The expectation is high but actually living out that promise is quite another thing.

Both, my wife and I have already one marriage behind us. We have both seen how marriage grows and fails to divorce. Being in late 50 we have no more high expectations from life. We don't want kids or some grandiose projects to strive for. 

We want to live a quiet life, to love and make happy each other, be passionate lovers and the best friends at the same time, traveling the world, until we can.

The pitfalls of marriage!

In our married life we should avoid mistakes so many married people are making...

Marriage has become a battlefield where two persons are fighting for supremacy. Of course, the man has his own way: rough and more primitive.

The woman has her own way: feminine, softer, a little more civilized, more subdued. But the situation is the same.

Now psychologists are talking about marriage as an intimate enmity. And that’s what it has proved to be.

Two enemies are living together pretending to be in love, expecting the other to give love; and the same is being expected by the other. Nobody is ready to give – nobody has it. How can you give love if you don’t have it?

Why does marriage fail? In the first place, we raised it to unnatural standards. We tried to make it something permanent, something sacred, without knowing even the abc of sacredness, without knowing anything about the eternal.

Our intentions were good but our understanding was very small, almost negligible. So instead of marriage becoming something of a heaven, it has become a hell. Instead of becoming sacred, it has fallen even below profanity.

Is love enough?

I am indifferent towards marriage, I am for love. If love becomes marriage, good, but don’t hope that marriage can bring love. That is not possible. Love can become a marriage but marriage can never become love. 

People are afraid of love, they don't know what love is, because they are unconscious... They only think they love. When they don't love they hate because their love is full of jealousy, calculation and anger. 

Maybe the marriage is a formality, a legal bondage but on Wednesday I got the second chance, I am starting the new chapter in my life... 

Category

UNDERSTANDING

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