It is true, I don't give a damn to anything or anybody but that doesn't mean I don't care about certain people in my life.
I love my girlfriend, my daughter, father, niece and my relatives and friends and I'm concerned about them. I love them, that means I will do anything they are asking me to. I deeply care for their well being.
Unfortunately, I cannot let them understand what I know about life. I tried. I spoke with my mother a lot about enlightenment and she looked at me like I'm a weirdo. She asked me am I part of some sect.
I remember one particular conversation couple months before she died. She was complaining that life is hard. Just as all people I know, she blamed life for her sickness. She was a math teacher and I asked her one afternoon - Mom, when you give a math test who of students say it was hard test? She answered - those who did not prepare for the test so they don't know the subject. I told her, it is the same thing, you said life is hard, it is not, you just did not prepare yourself for it, you don't know the subject.
I'm not sure she understood what I wanted to tell her, I'm not sure any of my loved ones know exactly what I'm writing here. I'm so sad about it. This is the only important subject in life.
The empty words referring to the same thing. I'm afraid my loved ones will never understand what these words points to. What can I do, I point finger to the moon and I say - look, the moon, and they look at my finger never turning the head towards the moon.
I have concluded that everybody has their own time. It is impossible to teach someone about spiritual awakening. You have to be deeply interested in the subject, have a definite urge to discover Who You Are?, above all your search for happiness.
I wish everyone to be happy, knowing that the happiness is their very nature and not a state between two sorrows. This happiness is something those three words referring to. It is YOU, your-SELF. On YOU came Being or Existence which is Love, Consciousness and Bliss with its first thought - "I AM" thought, a primordial illusion.
"I AM" thought can actually be heard. If you quiet your mind and make it without thoughts, "I AM" thought transforms itself to a sense, it can be described as a sense of presence. It is heard as a small, quiet, tiny, buzzing sound. The real question is Who does hear this sound? It is your real Self, YOU.
After the first thought comes, "I AM" sense solidifies itself by constant stream of other thoughts. That stream is called personality - all your beliefs and attitudes. It is something that we refer as a person. It is based on "I AM" illusion so itself it is completely illusory, it has no existence, it is just an imagination.
When we say somebody died, what does it mean? The "I AM" sense, the very first thought faded away, so no more stream of thoughts circulating brain and spine, no more personality, the person is dead but YOU, you are not touched. Do you see now why it important to know your Self while you're having this "I AM " sense, while you are alive as a person?
If you know your SELF while you are alive you will never forget it. You will be Self-realized, enlighten person or awoke one. No more stress of any kind can come close to you. There will be thoughts in your head but they will be irrelevant. No more pain and suffering, just pure love and happiness. There can be problems in life but your attitude will be changed, you will not give a damn to anything.
If you know your SELF while you are alive there will be no death for you. The unreal never lived, the real never dies.
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