My friends, I am so busy at my work these days. On Monday I worked from 9 am to 11 pm, Tuesday from 9 am to 10 pm. I also worked every Saturday since I came from vacation. I earned three more vacation day which is good I will need it. This morning I got up at 8:30 am and I felt good, relaxed, and for no particular reason, I was feeling a joy of my existence.

Even I'm busy at work I try to hold on to I AM sense, the sense of presence and I really do not feel tired at all. I visited the eye doctor this afternoon and he gave me a good news after my ultra sound eye exam - everything is okay, my ayes are good, nothing to worry about.

I was happy to hear that news. I will continue doing yoga, I think it is a major thing for my good health and young appearance. Also I will continue to hold I AM sense during my waking hours.

I'm thinking ... the fundamental problem in life is actually finding a meaning of existence. That’s a question that many philosophers, mystics, weird and crazy people, with nothing else to do, asked for many, many years.

My answer is perhaps a little depressing. Life has no meaning, nothing visible actually exists. Appropriately, my philosophical view is called existential nihilism.

Nihilism (/ˈnaɪ.ᵻlɪzəm/ or /ˈniː.ᵻlɪzəm/; from the Latin nihil, nothing) is a philosophical doctrine that suggests the lack of belief in one or more reputedly meaningful aspects of life. Most commonly, nihilism is presented in the form of existential nihilism, which argues that life is without objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value. Moral nihilists assert that there is no inherent morality, and that accepted moral values are abstractly contrived. Nihilism may also take epistemological, ontological, or metaphysical forms, meaning respectively that, in some aspect, knowledge is not possible, or reality does not actually exist. - Wikipedia

If you witty enough, you may ask, What would be the point of living if life has no meaning? 

Well, that is the serious question and this is precisely what Albert Camus described in his famous work, The Myth of Sisyphus. He said, “There is only one really serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide.

You may hate this philosophy because you feel it is true and that deep subconscious feeling is terrifying you. You want to hold on to hope believing deep down that there is something more to life. That's why you turn out toward New Age Spirituality which somehow makes everything easy.

Do you feel that you are alive but you are not living at all? Do you feel that everything is fake? Fake virus, fake news, fake governments, fake people... fake world?

And you yourself, do you know that you are also fake? If you really think about it, which I have no doubt you do, but if you do, you may see your position, you may conclude that things around you are happening spontaneously without your intention. And to get that it's very depressing, how that could be, you do have a will and power to act according to that will... isn't it?

I agree, it's extremely melancholy to realize that you have no intrinsic value at all, that your persona is made-up thing, you are essentially meaningless.

It's very disillusioning to get that no matter what you might accomplish, it disappears like smoke in the air; that no matter what service you might attempt to perform, it's like an insignificant grain of sand upon an infinite beach.

Are you saving money? Are you coloring your hair? Are you fighting to save planet? Does it matter?

It's all insignificant in the end. If not today, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow then in a hundred years, then in a thousand, million, billion. The universe don't even notice you.

All the meaning of yourself, of your life, world is supplied by your imagination.

You have a millions of judgments, this is good, that's bad, this should happen, that shouldn't happen. Existence has no imagination, it just going, moving on. All the "good," "bad," "right," "wrong", "hopes" and "regrets" etc. is supplied by you, my friend.

Life doesn't care about any of this. Whatever you or I might ever do to make a difference in a little corner of our world is meaningless and empty. In fact, all is emptiness, everything is completely fake, you are just like a character in a video game, or like a robot in a machine factory,  pondering what its meaning is.

Movie - 13th Floor

Before you get too depressed, let’s consider Nietzsche’s approach towards meaning of life. Like Camus, he thought that life is devoid of intrinsic meaning. But he thought you could give it a kind of meaning by embracing illusion. That's what you have to learn from artists, according to Nietzsche.

But here is a twist my friend, that Nietzsche and Camus did not see it. If nothing matters, if life has no meaning and everything is illusion without existence then neither anything else matters. 

Your fears, worries and anxiety do not matter at all. There you go!!! You see, upon this realization, something happens.

The fact that nothing matters is actually a source of great liberation. It's very freeing to realize that nothing matters at all, because that whole weight of trying to make life "make sense" or "go the right way" or "look like this" drops away.

In its place comes reality, things exactly as they are, with no meaning at all in the usual sense and yet incredibly stupid and beautiful at the same time, the very life forever shining in the present moment.

The question of meaning of life is a trick. You cannot find a meaning of something that does not exist. What exists is the sense of presence and nothing else. Accept that or just like Sisyphus, continue enjoying to push a boulder up a mountain only to have it roll to the bottom again and again.