Friday, October 20, 2017

My Funny Life Philosophy


I don't like the optimism, you know, hoping that something better will come. Nothing better will come, getting old sucks big way. Whoever told you that with age you will become smarter lied to you. Fuck it. You were young and stupid and then you are not young anymore.

I really don't like optimism. First, such people have no clue how the real world works. They are totally fake, soft and weak-minded. They stick their heads in the sand and ignore reality thinking happy thoughts while doing nothing. There is no second.

For example, what would you do if you're 52, you have money and free time. Oh never mind, the first thing you have in mind is to travel: Oh, I’d love to see New York! Or Paris, or London or Australia... Or Whatever-fuck-land. You want to stroll down through well-known avenues or hang out on a faraway beach, maybe drinking some tropical sweet cocktail shit.

I know a woman who read Eat, Pray, Love, which is a story about a woman’s travels and as soon as she finished the book, she got online and made reservations to go to visit the same countries. I have a friend who read 50 Shades of Gray and as soon as he finished the book, he got online... oh well, that is another story not for this blog.

Hey, how about my friend Georgie boy? He is a wealthy 50 something man, doing a lot of hunting and traveling. He spends more time on the airports and hotels in a month than me in a whole year. But if you ask me, he is a complete nut case.

It appears that everyone likes to travel. And I’m the only who doesn’t love it which makes me what - a freak, in a way. It’s like hating Christmas, which I admit I do, or weddings, which I despise, or kittens, which I don't hate. Who hates kittens? Fuck!.

On another hand, I am not a pessimist either. I don't expect only bad outcomes, I am not gloomy, joyless and unhopeful. Well, scratch unhopeful. Although I went through so many disappointments, I don't expect the misfortune to continue to my future. Naaay.

I'm not a pessimist, I'm not an optimist, I am a realist. I have no clue if being a realist is something good to acquire, but I ended up here, in the middle of the bullshit. What does it mean to be a realist anyway?

Being realistic is closer to pessimism but it is not quite pessimism, it downplays the good things in life and it tries to see the bad as inevitable. I try to make no prejudice for what people believe and how they behave, I try to be impartial, with no judgments. Sometimes, I don't succeed.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

When is it time to leave?

My dear, find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.

~ Falsely yours by Charles Bukowski

We live in a fast-paced society and as the result we all want everything to come as quickly as possible. We want to love here and now without any concerns about feelings. But love takes time to develop, it is not a process that cannot be accelerated. Loving someone requires time. It takes honesty, it requires some risks and it takes a tremendous amount of trust.


It looks like so easy. You meet the One, the love of your life, you get together and you live happily ever after. It is like a fairy tale, but even when you have learned there are no such thing as Tooth Fairy, so many of us still believe that once you meet the love of your life, you have to remain forever or else it doesn’t count.

Like most of you, I have had my share of relationships ranging from the memorable to the forgettable. The most memorable are, of course, my marriage but it didn’t last. Until recently, I classified it as a failed relationship. It is the one that I never speak about openly except after a couple of beers, as a warning to others, not do what I did.

I see how the capacity to love diminishes after divorce. We claim we want someone to love, yet we so easily walk away. We just move on to the next relationship. It appears sometimes that we are emotionally damaged forever.


Lately, though, I have come to a great realization - love has an end date. Better to be alone than in a bad and toxic relationship.

What if we are meant to have several relationships throughout our lifetime?


Do you believe there is only one person out there, who is right for you?

So far, I have not met a perfect couple; all I know is that they fight for years — only to split up in the end. In most cases, it wasn’t even anyone’s fault but rather they grew apart and found they no longer suited each other.

Therefore, wouldn’t it make sense to have more than one relationship?

Staying together forever is nice, but it tends to be the exception rather than the rule. I believe in Tooth Fairy and of course in Santa Claus but let me tell you... Easter Bunny is a stretch. 😉

Nine of ten of all relationships are not going to last. The relationship has a definitive end date. We change and others in our lives change too. Rather than seeing it as a failing thing lets pretend that it has a purpose.


Sometimes we just have to let it go because the happiness is somewhere else.

When is it time to leave?

1. If you’ve been hurt emotionally. Ignore excuses and apologies; if emotional violence has surfaced, it will surface again. Get out at the very first strike.

2. When you’re totally incompatible. If your partner’s dream one and you dream other dreams, one or both of you will probably be unhappy if you stay together. Relationships have a better chance at being successful with people whom we share similar values and goals.

3. When she isn’t even close to your fantasy. You may be tempted to stay with someone just because they’re available and willing, but this is generally a bad idea. There should be some chemistry in order to have a successful future.

4. When she just can’t say I like you. Even if there’s chemistry if someone can’t express their like for you with affectionate gestures, nurturing, and the words “I like you,” you’ll never really feel satisfied with her.

5. When you’re afraid to be yourself. Being with the right person should bring out the best in you. It should help you to be less self-conscious and make you more open and alive. If you feel like you’re walking on eggs all the time because your partner is emotionally volatile and verbally abusive, it’s probably a sign that this is not the right relationship for you.

6. When your self-esteem is suffering. If your relationship is heavy, makes you feel bad about yourself, leaves you feeling like you’re not heard, and you’re getting more criticism than praise, then it’s time to end it. A good relationship makes you feel respected and loved, worthwhile and good about yourself.

7. When she says, “I need some space”. The relationship did not even start and your partner says something like, “I want time,” or “I want space,” or “I think you should wait”, or “I need to devote myself to my own feelings”. Almost always, what she means is “I want out”. If these things happen, don’t drag it out. Saying, “things will be better” does not mean anything. 


In our lives, people will come and go, and they will leave wounds. In order to release them, you must learn to heal yourself. To stop hoping. Please be yourself and forgive others. Close the door and stop looking over your shoulder. 


A thousand steps (Mil pasos)

One step, I leave forever
One strong step
One step forward

Two steps, I leave without looking at you
So far I stepped
Two steps, and I already forgot you.

Three steps, I am already toward the east,
To the south, to the west.
Three steps, I think it's a lot, It seems to me

And when will you be back?
-I will not return
When will you be back?
-I'm so far away already
When will you be back?
-One day or never.

And when will you be back?
-I took the first step
When will you be back?
-Above all, don't wait for me
When will you be back?
-One day or never.


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Thank you for liking us on Facebook


Life did not intend to make us perfect. Whoever is perfect belongs in a museum. 
- Erich Maria Remarque

My intent is to document and observe the world around me like I've never seen it before. I take notes. Collect things I find. Document my findings on this blog. I try to be funny and easygoing. I notice patterns. Copy/paste. Trace. Focus on one thing at a time. Write about what I am drawn to...

This post isn’t meant to be a pessimistic rant about how tough life is. I'm just calling you to like zmark.ca Facebook Page.


On the bottom of this page, there is a StatCounter, an invisible javascript gadget, which records visits. It generates very good statistics. So many visitors come here, mostly read only one article and they are gone. That I cannot explain and I don't really understand. My ideas are based on simple truth - everything is FAKE. My posts or articles are not serious, nothing in this world is important or serious.

Writing about awakening I'm fulfilling my part on this planet. In nutshell, the Earth is a gigantic chicken coop, run by few families greedy for power and prestige. I am just a slave living my pity life.

Almost half of my work income is automatically taken out before I ever see it, regardless of whether or not I approve of how the money is spent. I work hard just to pay bills; doing so, I'm losing the best years of my life.

Things are bad enough. The modern spirituality is worse. There are numerous self-proclaimed lunatics, so-called saints, prophets and saviors who wish to serve this world. Spirituality is a romantic stuff. The Path!!! Search for truth. The Way... all is romantic bullshit.

I deny the validity of the spiritual search entirely. I don't believe in spirituality, Mickey Mouse, Disneyland, Kim Kardashian and Celine Dion. (Btw. who listen to Celine Dion anyway?).

Do you imagine you are following the Path, growing, improving, and just like a businessman, do you want result... the return on investment?

You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book... or you take a trip... and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all.

It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death.

Some never awaken.

- The Diary of Anaïs Nin

Thank you for liking us on Facebook.


Monday, October 16, 2017

Falling In Love With Ashtanga Yoga


If you're among the people that are less than thrilled about the trend of yoga, that's perfectly understandable. But, it hurts to say this, you're missing out many things. Yoga has many physical, spiritual and mental benefits.

Yoga Studios aka Wellness Centers?

I am shocked to see the new prices for yoga classes. The single drop in class is now $22, 5 class pass $100, 10 class pass $180, plus HST (in Canada, for anything you buy, you pay extra 13% of the original price). Special events, so-called yoga workshops, are even more expensive, the price depends on the yoga teacher's celebrity level.

It's really sad because a lot of people cannot afford more stress in their lives, students, those working shitty jobs just to get by, single moms, etc. can't afford these classes. I feel the price of classes makes yoga appear to be an upper-middle-class hobby more than something approachable to everyone, which is so sad.

Six years ago, I paid $25/month for unlimited practice at an Ashtanga studio in Toronto. Today, $260/month plus HST. Whom to blame for this price spike? Studio management? Or the overheated market?

There, in the yoga studio, everyone will tell you how their award-winning wellness center is a great and with the best yoga teachers around. I would like to advise you, once you have a solid, safe foundation for your practice, there’s enormous value in daily unrolling your mat at your living room, and moving through poses. If you listen to your body carefully, you’ll realize you have a lot more to teach yourself than you expected. And, of course, the home class is completely free!

Home Yoga Practice


Starting a home yoga practice will ultimately save you time, energy and money. Try to practice yoga every day. Set aside a time when you will not be disturbed and you will not have to rush.

Practice regularly, it will help you build concentration, increase flexibility and strengthen willpower, making it easier to practice the next day. Consistency is key. If possible, establish a regular time of day to set aside for practice. Morning practice is advised.

There is more benefit to doing the practice regularly than sporadic studio class attendance, or the occasional workshop. Twenty minutes of yoga at home is more beneficial than driving, parking and paying to practice for an hour at a studio. The greatest and longest lasting benefits are achieved when at least half-primary is done every day. The full primary is a goal and that is the way to go.

Ashtanga Yoga With Friends


I have a lot of friends and some of them were asking to teach them ashtanga yoga. Every Monday at 7:30 PM  we have ashtanga yoga class at friend's condo. It is a good 50 to 60 minutes practice. We do 5A, 5B sun salutations, all standing postures, and sitting postures until Navasana, then we move to closing sequence. We also do a sequence of strengthening poses like holding various planks and dolphin pose for a long time and adding a few stomach crunches.

When I tell my friends to start doing ashtanga yoga, I always say, they'll feel so good! They'll be so relaxed after the practice and they'll lose the weight etc. What I don’t tell them is that most of the times daily ashtanga yoga practice makes you feel tired. It is a hard practice. And it’s called a "practice" for a reason.

There's no end game in ashtanga yoga; no big "accomplished day,” nothing specific you’re training for, nothing to achieve. It’s a constant hard work in progress, you can almost always go deeper into a pose, extending your ligaments and muscles further to make the pose more challenging. It is the ultimate practice.

Stretching every day brings benefits to your body and mind, and you don't have to be flexible to show up on the mat. You don’t have to be anything to do Ashtanga yoga. It is an amazing workout that will help boost your mood and health.

Ashtanga Yoga Is Not Competition


The great thing about ashtanga yoga is that we continue to improve through life, and age has nothing to do with ability in yoga. Indeed, practicing Ashtanga yoga daily into our senior years is a goal to aspire to as it will keep you fit, confident, strong, flexible, mentally and physically balanced, and self-disciplined.

Ashtanga yoga is great for cleaning your immune system. By daily sweat, you'll start throwing away toxins from your body. In the first six months of the practice, you may be constantly on the verge of sickness. In my case, when I started seriously to practice Ashtanga yoga, drinking a cold bottle of water had caused me a throat inflammation. All that'll be gone in six months.

Daily practice of Ashtanga yoga will take a lot of your free time. You need 90 minutes at least for the practice: 10 minutes to prepare, 60 minutes to perform and 20 minutes after the practice. You also need to change your eating habits, ashtanga yoga is practiced on an empty stomach.

Practicing daily will change your way of thinking. I don't say these things to my friends I just encourage them to practice yoga. This is something they will discover by themselves once they fall in love with Ashtanga yoga. And that’s all that matters.


Saturday, October 14, 2017

Ashtanga Yoga Primary Series with Sharat's DVD


Saturday, October 14, 2017. the rainy but not so cold morning here in Toronto. It is 9:30 a.m. I had a great 8 hours sleep last night, I am relaxed and rested and just about to start full primary series Ashtanga yoga practice. I will follow Sharat's count via his DVD.

It's easy to practice yoga when I'm happy when everything around feels right when I feel love, support, appreciation. I jump out of bed and run to the mat, simply move through sun salutations with excitement and a feeling of happiness.

So far in October good seven practices. Today is the eight one and I decided to do the full primary. I have to see where I am with strength, flexibility, and endurance. I am planning to do everyday yoga next week.


I have realized that my worries don't matter at all, so let's have fun and do yoga. But fun is not what comes to mind when you mention Ashtanga yoga. Anyone who’s done this practice knows that heart starts pumping after completing just the sun salutations at the beginning of the practice and that itself is quite challenging. And anyone who’s ever gone all the way through the primary series understands what effort and strength are all about.

What’s the main message yoga studios - Just have fun! Well, that should be the main reason why Ashtanga yoga is not so popular there. I always try to remind myself that my practice is not about how hard I work, but how effortlessly I do it. It’s not about flexibility, but about subtleties of correct breathing, keeping mulla bandha and saving energy.

Ashtanga primary series class is not for everybody. Most people do not like it. It is the repetition of the same postures that makes it so unpopular. Chaturanga and upward dog are after each side of every single asana performed. It is hard and it requires a great strength and concentration. People want varieties, freedom of the movement, music, heat etc...


It's extremely melancholy to realize that nothing has any meaning, that life is essentially meaningless.  Including the yoga practice.

It's very disillusioning to get that no matter what I might accomplish, it disappears like smoke in the air; that no matter what work I might attempt to perform, it's all insignificant in the end. If not today, then tomorrow. If not tomorrow then in a year or so.

In a hundred years all people that I know will be dead, including myself. The universe doesn't even notice us.

I really get this but I realized one more thing, because life has no meaning, because nothing really matters at all and everything is purposeless, then my worries and stress don't really matter either. So let's do primary series now.