Wednesday, October 16, 2019

turn down for what

In street language "turn down for what" is a question of desperation. "Turn up" is the act of getting drunk and high and being reckless so "turn down" means sobering up. Turn down for what? is really saying I am fucked up and I don't care, no matter what.

Yes, the fact is... you are born in this world and since that moment you are heading towards death, whether you may like it, dislike it, believe it, disbelieve it, you may be atheist, theist, following this religion, that religion, you may claim you are an incarnation or whatever you may, you are not spared, the death is awaiting you.

This thought has certainly occurred to you questioning what is behind all of the efforts you make and all of the suffering you must endure throughout your daily life.

You may never heard of the philosophy of nihilism and you are not aware of it, but every time you think "what's the point?" or consider that none of this will matter because you're going to die, you are actually using concepts from nihilism, especially the existential nihilism.

Nihilism (/ˈnaɪ.ᵻlɪzəm/ or /ˈniː.ᵻlɪzəm/; from the Latin nihil, nothing) is a philosophical doctrine that suggests the lack of belief in one or more reputedly meaningful aspects of life. Most commonly, nihilism is presented in the form of existential nihilism, which argues that life is without objective meaning, purpose, or intrinsic value. - Wikipedia

Let me be clear, the nihilism is a toxic philosophy. It is an extremely difficult philosophy to escape from. It gives you the idea that nothing you do has any meaning so you have no responsibility for anything. You can simply lay down and jerk off all day.

This idea of no responsibility is incredibly attractive to a lot of teenagers, which is why there are so many of them caught up in depression. Turn down for what is a teenagers saying...

It is an extremely melancholy to realize that nothing has any intrinsic meaning, that life is essentially meaningless. I think it is, and it is a dangerous truth and the most people simply refuse to think about it.

It takes courage to live life understanding that no matter what you might accomplish, all will disappear like smoke in the air; that no matter what service you might attempt to perform, it's all useless. Not only that, but the very fact that everything is insignificant and nothing has any intrinsic meaning doesn't mean anything either.

The nihilism is powerful because it offers truth and as such, should be used for awakening. Instead of being a lazy, irresponsible bum, realize how much your thoughts shape your reality.

Through nihilism, slightly change you outlook of your existence and notice an enormous difference in almost every aspect of your life.

You are not so important as you think you are. Actually, there is no difference between you and any other living being on this planet. No difference at all. Everything on this Earth is going to perish forever. You are insignificant. And let that realization gives you freedom to find what you really want to be and what you really want to do. Here and now.

Nihilism will make you understand how precious your time is and how important is what you choose to do with it... being happier, working hard what you like, wanting to live more, making more effort in your relationships, enjoying simple existence.

Nihilism can make you a better person. Once you escape the darkness of nihilism, you realize that if you don't matter, neither your worries, frustrations and despairs matter, so you start seeing the world in different lights... meditation, yoga, a healthy choices of lifestyle, you really start to enjoy and make more efforts with everything you do.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Chasing the wind...


How many times I heard my father told me: When I was your age, children knew to respect their parents. then, he will continue... When I was your age, I had to walk to school ten miles. In the snow. Uphill. Both ways. I use to finish his sentence before he said it. Do you think this is funny? It was but it is not anymore. I actually used this phrase last week when talking to my daughter. For the first time in my life I told her, well, when I was your age...

If you take away all the smoke and mirrors, all the false smiles, and all the deceit, you can clearly see that we as a humanity are steadily chasing the wind. In all seriousness, we've done nothing in our life but fool ourselves thinking that we have achieved something.

Not so long ago my father was a successful and respectful man and now he is alone. My mother passed away four years ago and he is now living trying to organize his life the best as he can. His main activities are watching TV, buying groceries and going to funerals. He is also very careful to get his medications on time.


That is life. We spend it working, building houses, saving money, raising kids... and what do we have on the end? Generations come and go, the world stays the same. The sun still rises, it still goes down, the wind blows, river flows into the sea, but the sea is not yet full. The water returns to the sky, the rain brings it down, all starts over again.

Our fate as a humankind is tragic and funny at the same time. We have nowhere to go, nothing to do.

At very early age they put us in schools to learn the difference between knowledge and stupidity, wisdom and foolishness. But we have not learned much, rather we have became lonely beings.


In years after divorce I decided to enjoy myself and find out what happiness is. Back then I cheer myself up with beer and wine and had a good time with women. I thought that that might be the best way spending the rest of my life on earth. But what I've found is that most of my laughter was empty, and small pleasures were like mirage.

The wisdom is not better than foolishness, just as day is not better than night. You may say, the smart knows where he is going, and a stupid doesn't. But I know that there is no destination, the same fate is waiting everyone.

So life came to mean nothing to me, because everything in it had brought me nothing. I am just chasing the wind. So be it. I don't fear and I don't panic. I am comfortable with myself and confident in my true independence.


Monday, October 14, 2019

Interview with Zee Mark


I have taken the time to interview myself. You may think I sound crazy, but that’s already the fact, so lets move on.

Why this interview? Well, asking myself questions brings me closer to you - my readers. In writing this, there has been no new things, I just repeated what I already said on these pages but, if you first time read my blog, my answers may surprise you...

Why did you put this photo of yourself when you look tired and sleepless?

I don't know. I like the photo, it is me early in the morning. I like to look like a military man. I am straightforward and honest, but there’s something that I just can’t accept, something that makes me want to vomit, it is in the moment when I am called a nice guy.

I feel more freedom not being a nice guy. While most of women do want a nice, kind and loving man, they only want him to a point. Simply, when a man is too nice, too kind or too giving, women sense a bullshit. No one is nice all of the time except for bullshiters.

Don't get me wrong, some women want a bullshiter, the one who is too willing to compromise and never pushes back. You know him very well, the one who bends over backwards for his woman while stepping on his own self-respect. The woman tells him - Oh you look so nice on this photo, you are so nice guy, but that's just makes no sense.

Do you post your photos in order to attract women in your life?

After divorce, 5 years ago, I thought I had nothing to give the world. What do I have to give? I know nothing about life. I thought life was merely a bunch of responsibilities, work, bills, kids, occasional sex and endless fight for who-will-control-who. I thought the best part of my life was what I experienced in my student years and now I was in for a boring and depressing future.

The truth of my divorce is... my heart was crying out for more life. More love, passion, adventure and definitely more craziness, but I didn't know what that meant or how to fulfill the urge for the freedom. All I knew is that I was married but alone.

My girlfriend was reading my blog before we met and she decided to introduce me. So we met for dinner and we started dating on July 29th 2016, I liked her from the first moment I've seen her. I was tired of bad relationships and she return aliveness into my life...

Are you happy with your girlfriend, you have deleted all posts about her?

I have decided not to write about her anymore. We broke up so many times and I described that on my blog. But every time that happened we saw that we love each other and there is no point to pretend otherwise. My only logical action was to delete the all posts about her. Eventually we will finally break up but until then...

You seems to be an existential nihilist. Are you happy with your life?

I don't like the optimism, you know, hoping that something better will come. Nothing better will come, getting old sucks big way. Whoever told you that with age you will become smarter lied to you. You were young and stupid and then you are not young anymore.

I really don't like optimism, on another hand, I am not a pessimist either. I don't expect bad outcomes, I am not gloomy, joyless and unhopeful. Well, scratch unhopeful. I'm not a pessimist, I'm not an optimist, I am a realist.

The attitude is the thing. I'm a realist, and I'm here to set the record straight. Forget those glasses that can be half empty or half full, the glass could be filled to the brim or emptied to the last drop, it depends how thirsty you are.

In life there is nothing to be happy or unhappy about. Life is not a serious thing. It seems to me that the way most people go on living, they think that the world is supposed to be a logical and consistent place. Well, that is not the case. All misery comes from our idea that the world is true.

We assume that if the world is true then we are also true. This self-importance is the main reason for the feelings of depression, sadness, emptiness, and anxiety. No matter how much we understand about life or don’t, we still have to do the living. I've reached a point when I’m happy with small things. I have no more expectations from life.

It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. The meaning of all of life is just to be alive. There is nothing here to be happy or unhappy about so I stopped worrying. Things take care of themselves, so I intend the best and live my life as it comes...

Ashtanga yoga is a main part of your life?

I am doing Ashtanga yoga for the last 12 years. I am 54 and I still do daily half primary series. For how long I don't know. I am not an advanced practitioner, far from it. I do struggle a lot in my practice. There is no easy way to say this so let me just say it - Ashtanga Yoga is really hard. The half primary version of this practice is still quite challenging. It takes on average 45 minutes to complete.

The longer you practice the more you notice how hard it really is. It is utterly intimidating and defeating endeavor. In any sport by training it you gain strength and you increase the practice just like running or swimming for example... but that doesn't apply for Ashtanga Yoga.

There's no end game in Ashtanga Yoga; no big "accomplished day,” nothing specific you’re training for, nothing to achieve. It’s a constant hard work in progress, you can always go deeper into a pose, extending your ligaments and stretching muscles further to make the pose more challenging.

Practicing daily ashtanga yoga is boring, dull and hard, it does not allow any creativity and wishful thinking. It calls for a complete and total surrender. It is the practice of hopelessness which says that there is no way out... Asana, breath, drishti and vynasas are taking me away from myself... and that is most important.

Do you think your readers understand what are you writing here?

It depends in which category post belongs. All people know what I am talking about in DAILY LIFE, YOGA etc... but very few understand AWAKENING category.

Writing a blog today is not easy. Everything is already written and all ideas are out there. The google search just about anything imaginable will reveal thousands of articles. It can be confusing at a time. So I stick to my own message that I want to convey to my readers and I repeat the same words in different ways...

For example, when I say that people are taking the life too seriously, I mean that they're turning everyday situations into problems, constantly on the lookout for shit to complain about and worry about a bunch of things that simply do not matter. Our bare needs are a place to sleep, something to wear and to have two meals a day. Everything else is luxury to please our vanity.

The perception of the world is distorted by our beliefs about what it is and what it should be. And yes, the world plays around our excessive pride in our appearance, qualities, abilities and achievements. And I don't blame no one! People were lied to their entire life. They must investigate and find out the truth for themselves.

What is Truth?

Truth is... everything in this world, including our sense of ourselves, is FAKE. We are false, our world, aspirations and desires, our family, friends, neighbors, teachers, idols... our country, our job, our interests, striving, hopes and everything else... are just layers of bullshit, the one on the top of another.

We live our life just for one reason - to see through this pile of shit, to see falseness of everything. Instead we make our life serious by setting all kinds of goals - to finish prestigious university, to visit Paris, to see the Eiffel Tower, to complete this asana, to run a marathon, to swim with dolphins, to become rich, to be our own boss, to own a mansion, to drive a Corvette, to find true love - the list, mostly mundane and predictable, is endless.

We are trapped, this is what society wants from us. We live the life where goals, timelines, and deadlines are normal thing. Society tells us that setting and achieving is the only way to lead a fulfilling life, and thus the only way to be truly happy, and they say, we also need to enjoy the process in between - the “journey,” they call it.

We're on the journey following "Work Hard, Dream Big" so we have no time for introspection of our life, no time to think what do we really need and to see our real position.

And is this the main reason for writing this blog?

I'm not here to open eyes to anyone. I am writing because I am straight-forward. There is nothing here to be understood. With my articles, I'm NOT trying to set anyone free.

I'm only telling to my readers that their life is a lie, and they should see it for themselves. If I'm not so convincing, so what? They will continue living their wonderful life just as they did before.

Sunday, October 13, 2019

The greatest danger to humanity is not climate change


The single and the greatest danger to humanity is actually degeneration of human consciousness. 

It is thinking about things that lowers our IQ, harms our cognitive functions, makes us robot like creatures... the things that leads to depression and apathy.

The planet Earth has became a giant shopping mall. The buy and sell mentality is squeezing out the last reminders of human consciousness. Mankind, driven by greed, has become extremely sick.

The crooked political system, distorted entertainment industry, false news and advertisements, phony medical and pharmaceutical industry, dishonest food industry, travel and working conditions, constant wars and lost of basic human rights are our reality.

Humankind has been aspiring to be machine for a few decades now and eventually the effects of this aspiration becomes more and more apparent as toxins build up everywhere...


The Kardashians

Human society is based on dominance and naturally takes the form of Kim Kardashian's ass with few at the top and most at the inside. We live in a system based on her hips, breasts and eyelashes. Her attributes are the omens of our culture.

People seek Kim's attributes, as the form of entertainment. The Kardashians lead a life of laughter, frivolity, and fun. They wholesome life ideals represents natural consequence of the fall of humanity.


Mickey Mouse and Disneyland

Disneyland is the archetype of a robotic city. A city in which illusion is reality, in which the hopes and dreams are realized. Everything at Disneyland is a warm and friendly, laughter and joy, imagination and creativity.

People are directed in ordered currents and flows. They follow arrows, they stand in lines. Disneyland is, in miniature, the ideal future for humanity. Rules are obeyed because there is no alternative.

The logic of Disneyland is fucking nuts and madness is quite sane there. As Charles Bukowski said Mickey Mouse had a greater influence on the public than Shakespeare, Milton, Dante, Rabelais, Shostakovich or Van Gogh. Which say "What" about the public.


New Age Bullshit

The New Age ideology is so popular at present time, "spiritual but not religious" concept has gained enormous rise with the social media. The critical thinking and honest observation, spiritual exploration and personal development are not part of the New Age.  The New Age spirituality is naive, misleading and false.

The New Age is like a sponge that wants to absorb all religions, and beliefs from different cultures into one spiritual, economical, unified system just like the world trade and commerce. It is just another invention of neoliberals.

It is a multi-billions business that make people self-satisfied and peaceful. People are been mislead to believe that if you pay attention to something that is harmful simply by asking the questions and becoming aware of it is something very bad.

As the result you have current apathy and passivity to the injustices happening in today's world. Shutting out your resistance is a good way to ensure that you will never take action to try to change the things that are wrong with the world.


Zombies aren't real. But we are moving towards that direction.

This terrifying future for people lead by The Kardashians, three-fingered bastard Mickey Mouse, robotic city of Disneyland and New Age ideology will eventually create humans unable to think in a rational manner... Humans suddenly very much resembling zombies.

Nah. Couldn’t happen. Could it?

Saturday, October 12, 2019

The rise and fall of Bikram, a famous hot yoga guru


Bikram Choudhury was born on February 10, 1944 in Calcuta, India. He is a yoga teacher and the founder of Bikram Yoga, a form of hot yoga performed in a series of 26 hatha yoga postures done in a hot environment of 40 °C (104 °F).

This week, a Los Angeles judge signed off on an arrest warrant for him, because in 2016, he was ordered to pay millions following a harassment lawsuit by his former lawyer Minakshi Jafa-Bodden.

Jafa-Bodden accused him of sexually harassing her and then firing her after she began looking into claims by other women that he had sexually assaulted them. In 2016, jurors unanimously found Choudhury guilty, and concluded that he had acted with fraud, malice and oppression towards her.

Today, the yoga-guru is on the run, having reportedly fled the United States after the warrant issued for his arrest last week, with bail set at $8 million. The hot yoga famous guru has risen to great heights, only to fall so devastatingly low.


Bikram grew up on the poor streets of Calcutta, India, and at the age of three began to learn Hatha yoga poses. He began studying the practice more intensely at the age of five and as a teenager went on to win the National India Yoga Championship for three consecutive years.

After a weightlifting accident he develop precise 90-minute sequence of 26 yoga poses and two breathing exercises, which he used in combination with Calcutta’s daily heat, to heal himself.

Within six months, he was back on his feet, having completely regained his health and vitality. Confident in the healing power of his unique yoga system, Bikram was ready to offer his teaching to the world, and in process, make a lot of money.


He immigrated to the US in the early 1970s and established his first hot yoga studio in a Los Angeles. Very soon he open his second studio in Hawaii and in a short time it become success. Then he started building his empire spanning 720 yoga schools in 220 countries.

The world loved Bikram yoga, which was supported by celebrities such as George Harrison and Michael Jackson, George Clooney, Ashton Kutcher, Andy Murray, David Beckham and modern-day and Lady Gaga, to mention some.

His yoga empire also earned him a fortune. Some reports suggest he had worth as much as a $100 million. So when hot-yoga proved to be a successful business, competitors also sought out opportunities to profit from the yoga craze. Bikram reacted by claiming his yoga sequence was intellectual property and filing aggressive lawsuits against them, which ultimately proved futile. In 2015, a court ruled that yoga poses could not be copyrighted, nor competitors held liable for teaching it.


Bikram is/was an eccentric, charismatic yogi adored by hundreds of thousands of devoted enthusiasts, many were young women who considered him as a spiritual leader. He started offering his famous intensive teachers training, twice-yearly the courses to certify instructors wanting to teach Bikram Yoga, he had no shortage of students willing to pay him $15,000 for the privilege of sharing his sweat in a hot room for nine weeks.

But on those teachers training many students witnessed Bikram being openly narcissistic, dishonest, racist and sexist behaviors.  In fact, it was in Bikram’s teacher-training courses where some of the worst alleged conduct was said to have occurred. He is currently facing six separate legal suits in California courts, with accusations ranging from sexual advantage, gender violence, intention to rape etc but, no criminal charges have been brought against him.


Bikram has denied all those allegations however he was found guilty of wrongful termination, sexual harassment and breach of contract of his lawyer Jafa-Bodden. He has failed to pay her 7 millions, and the court has ordered that all income from his studio franchises be awarded to her.