Sunday, July 15, 2018

More Than A Game...

The Soccer World Cup is finished, people were excited but from 32 nations competing there only France celebrated on the end. All others, at one point of time, were disappointed, sad and displeased because their guys have failed to fulfill theirs hopes and expectations.

France will celebrate for awhile and on the next world cup they also will be disappointed just like Germany, Argentina, Italy, Brazil and Uruguay this year.

And this is what life is all about - hopes and expectations and on the end, disappointment.

You spend a great deal of effort maintaining this illusion. You work very hard to make it as solid as possible and never venture too close to the meaning of it. Otherwise you would see right through it and find yourself looking into a mirage. Then you may see your life for what it really is... a great lie.

There are so many contradiction in this world, just like this world cup, that it’s easy to be caught up by one. And why are you doing all this, why are you following the crowd? Yup, to avoid those waves of sadness, emptiness, meaninglessness, alienation and anxiety.

More Than A Game...

In Canada, winning or losing a soccer match isn’t life or death. But for the rest of the world the situation is very different. In fact, football — as it’s known everywhere else around the world — is much more than a game. Football is more than just a sport, is is almost important as a religion with all its tragedies and heroes.

In Croatia, a small country with 4.5 millions of citizens, the impact of football is so great as the recent survey shows that 93 percent of Croatian respondents admittedly would give up food for a week to see Croatia hoist the cup, and around 70 percent would quit their job for a Croatian world cup victory!

In the film Kingdom of Heaven, Saladin is asked What is Jerusalem worth? He answers Nothing, walks away, turns and says Everything. Football’s importance is the same thing. It’s a meaningless game, played for recreation, it is not at all important.

And yet, for many who play it, who watch it every week, for close followers of their favorite club who buy jerseys and posters and tickets, who travel away and take vacation time to watch the World Cup, it is one of the most important things in their lives.

Football is so important because it gives joy and brings a smile and tears on people's faces. It is something which gives them a temporary escape from their simple uneventful lives. It gives people something to talk about, something to support and feel a sense of belonging. It gives jobs to millions of people. It teaches us numerous lessons and values which help us become a better person.

It gives people a reason to live.

In this world, being "normal self" means you have to be insane. 

The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does. They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society.

Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.

– Aldous Huxley, Brave New World Revisited

You may awake, for a brief moment, from this daily life's slumber and look around and wonder what you’re doing here. You may suddenly stop feeling connection to anything. You may see that nothing can give you any pleasure, there is nothing to strive for, nothing you can get or experience to fix it.

Unfortunately, the pointlessness of your basic existence is so obvious.

When that happens, the world can become a really confusing place. So where is the problem? Why this depression?

All come from your idea that the world is true. 

You assume that if the world is true then you are also true. This self-importance is the main reason for the feelings of depression, sadness, emptiness and anxiety.

There is nothing true in this world.

Take it easy!

Slowdown and stop running after all these nonsense! Embrace and enjoy your own meaninglessness. One day you will be forced to stop, the sun will go off and the mirage will go off. Don't say that you were unlucky, you did not reached the water... well, the water was never there.

Once upon a time there was a guy who enjoyed his life.

He was in early 30's, he had a nice BMW and he was going out every night. He had his own company for office repairs and he worked 3-4 hours a day, just to cover his expenses. He enjoyed his life immensely.

His mother was worried for him, Whenever she saw him she used to tell him - My son, you have to be married by now. You need to have children. Who will look after you when you are old? My son, Who will bring you a glass of water on your deathbed?

Slowly, bit by bit, mother's words started coming to man's mind especially the sentence about glass of water on his deathbed. So he finally found the right girl and got married. He stopped going out every day. Now he enjoyed the company of his wife.

After one year his wife gave birth to a baby boy. After the second year of marriage he got a baby girl. Now he start working full hours. He needed money to support family. He stopped going out. Their house become too small for the new family so he bought a bigger house. He got enormous mortgage to pay off so he worked even more. He sold his BMW, bought a minivan but he always remembered that question - Who will bring me a glass of water on my death-bed?

Years were passing, he became older and older. He knew only for work and more work. Vaguely he remembered his old days with nostalgia and sigh. In meantime he got grandchildren... He became an old, tired, sick man.

And one day he was laying in the bed for the last few hours before his death. He was surrounded with his family, the son, daughter, grandsons and granddaughters. Everyone was around him. In his last moments he was thinking about his life and he suddenly said:

Fuck, I am not even thirsty.

Friday, July 13, 2018

My 1st Yoga Retreat!

Crazy!, this week I was out every single day. Monday, the beer night with my friends, Tuesday and Wednesday, Mackenzie's, Thursday a birthday party and tonight I will go to ZAM in Etobicoke. What can I say... the summer time.

At work, I am at training for new software development tools, Angular UID, SOA, Maven, Postman etc... While during a day I'm learning a new stuff and at night I go out and forget everything. I also practice yoga regularly. Today is 13th July and I had 7 yoga practices. My body weight 89 kg now and the goal is 86. So I am slowly getting there.

This morning I received the ticket for my Punta Cana trip. I am going on 15th of August there on my first yoga retreat. I will stay there 10 nights and for 8 straight days I will practice ashtanga yoga twice a day. The trip costs me $3000, it is all inclusive, 5 stars, adult only resort. I am going alone and my mind is oriented towards yoga.

If you think yoga retreats are solely for people wanting to meet up, chat and practice yoga, you are mistaken. Just like my daily daily yoga, I will be alone there. 

Two practices a day requires lots of physical and mental efforts. Ashtanga yoga is a boring practice, so repetitive, strenuous for lower back and knees. The key of having a good practice twice a day is to be prepared at least a month before trip. So in July I want to have 20 yoga practices. So the successful retreat lies in combining yoga with swimming, walking, and going for a heavy lifting in a gym.

On my last vacation, on Mayan Riviera, from 14 nights I had 10 yoga practices and I felt the wish to do more. I was with my friend and his son and I went out at night, we were drink a lot and that influenced my yoga practice. I have no plans to drink this time in Punta Cana. A lot of fruits, fresh juices and lots of water is a must.

I call this trip a yoga retreat because the yoga is all I will do there. The goal of a retreat is to get in shape, mentally and physically. I have made my own schedule having in mind time to rest, nap, read, swim and take a walk.

6 a.m. - waking up
7:30 a.m. - first yoga practice (45 min)
9:00 a.m. - breakfast

10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. - beach and pool (swimming, walking)
1:30 p.m. - lunch 

5:00 p.m. - gym (30 min)
6:00 p.m. - second yoga practice (45 min)
8:00 p.m. -  dinner

10:00 p.m. - sleep

When you read the title of this post, well, "yoga retreat", I bet the book and movie "Eat, Pray, Love" is probably what first came to your mind. Yes, the same conceit of self-discovery and awakening is here, but my yoga retreat actually is different. 

I will be alone, practicing, eating, relaxing... completely alone. In fact, it will be something new and unique for me. I have never been before on a vacation alone. And this time, I want to get away from everything, I want to deepen my practice, get in shape and get into balance.

One of the best things about this trip, aside from getting out of Toronto, is getting away from the people for 10 days. I need personal space and I will not socialize at all. I don't like to wait other people to finish their meal, spent time together talking about trivialities. 

Witnessing and being able to be alone is a wonderful feeling of freedom and calmness. And it can also be quite fun. You see things more clearly, especially your own inner states, thoughts and feelings. 

On this trip I am going with minimal amount of personal belongings. The yoga mat, 4 swimming pants, about 10 t-shirts and 2 jeans, flip flops and snickers is all that I will bring with me. There is no need for expensive shirts, shoes and other stuff, I will not go out while I am there. I am placing a special attention on the rest too, with a good 8 hours sleep at the night.

Ashtanga Guru Pattabhi Jois' most famous quote was “Practice and all is coming”. With these words, I believe he meant that by consistently practicing ashtanga yoga, truth reveals itself in time, and with truth comes a peace. The changes during practice are unnoticeable and the progress is slow but the practice is all that counts.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

I am writing for entertainment only

If you don't follow my blog but you came here from the Facebook "I Love Ashtanga Yoga" and "YOGA" groups or "Spiritual Consciousness" Google Plus group and you just read one single article, you might wonder what I'm actually writing about. Well, I'm writing about awakening, yoga and daily life. I also write about experiences in relationships and online dating, which I abandon at present time because nothing is happening there...

To be quite honest I'm just having a fun.

I've stopped asking you to like my Facebook page because I realized that if you find me charming it means that you’re at present in a good mood, nothing else! I understand very well that if you like one post, you will be disappointed by the next one so what is the point of liking this blog?

Writing a blog today is not easy. Everything is already written and all ideas are out there. The google search just about anything imaginable will reveal thousands of articles. It can be confusing at a time. Anyway, my post What Does It Mean To Be An Ashtangi has been published by Elephant Journal. Nice, the editor changed "you" to "us" they say they do not like direct writing. It is okay, I like writing directly to you and I don't use "us" too often.

Don't believe everything you read on the internet. That included news, articles, scientific and statistical reports... blog posts, especially blogs. People are writing all kinds of bullshit. Take for example my own blog. It is a kill-the-time endeavor. I'm writing for entertainment only.

Life is ridiculous! I mean, you were born on certain date and until around 2 or 3 years old you didn't know yourself, and then suddenly "I am" notion appears and you start knowing yourself. If you lucky enough not to go to kindergarten, very soon in school, you will find out that the life is some serious shit.

As a kid I wondered about many questions. 

Sadly, to this day, I did not found answers due to repetition, grades, discipline, useless tasks, socializing... step by step you became a person with desire to please others around you. Is that your mother or father or your kids, spouse, or boss, it does not matter. You live your life for others until you became too old to handle the world and you finally die, again returning to the state of not knowing "yourself". Wow... is this ridiculous or not?

By living your life, every single day you are faced with a million little things that encourage you to take the life seriously. You are so self-centered so many things bother you. I am free to say that your life is nothing but one frustration after another.

When I say that you are taking the life too seriously, I mean that you're turning everyday situations into problems, constantly on the lookout for shit to complain about and worrying about a bunch of things that simply do not matter. You bare needs are a place to sleep, something to wear and to have two meals a day. Everything else is luxury to please your vanity.

Anyway, back to my childhood questions... The first question was: Do other people exist when I am not in direct contact with them? I, as center of universe have all kind of relationships. I play my role as a father, brother, boyfriend, friend, lover, co worker, neighbor etc.. What if all these people that I know are there only as far as I am paying attention to them, when I am in a direct contact to them. Interesting question.

The second question was even more mysterious: How can I leave something as a reminder of this life to my next life? And that brings me to third question: Did I left a reminder from previous life for this life? Did I? What that can be? I find the fact that I don't remember previous lives to be very cruel.

Next question that often came on my mind was: What if dreams are more real, than what I perceive to be my waking life? What if waking life is also just a fantasy.

Silly me, I will never find answers on these and other interesting questions. It is useless to ponder about it but I like it. If you talk about this to other people I may be labeled as a freak. Truth and the world are two completely different things, and your world is distorted by your beliefs about what it is and what it should be. And yes, the world plays around your excessive pride in your appearance, qualities, abilities and achievements. And I don't blame you! You’ve been lied to your entire life.

Everything in this world, including your sense of yourself, is FAKE. 

You are fake, your world, aspirations and desires, your family, friends, neighbors, teachers, idols... your country, your job, your interests, striving, hopes  and everything else... are one layer of lies on the top of another.

You live your life just for one reason - to see through this pile of shit, to see falseness of everything. Instead you make your life serious by setting all kinds of goals - to finish prestigious university, to visit Paris, to see the Eiffel Tower, to complete this asana, to run a marathon, to swim with dolphins, to become rich, to be your own boss, to own a mansion, to drive a Corvette, to find true love - the list, mostly mundane and predictable, is endless.

Unfortunately, this is what society wants from you. You live the life where goals, timelines, and deadlines are normal thing. Society tells you that setting and achieving is the only way to lead a fulfilling life, and thus the only way to be truly happy, and they say, you also need to enjoy the process in between - the “journey,” they call it.

You're on the journey following "Work Hard, Dream Big" so you have no time for introspection of your life, no time to think what do you really need and to see your real position. I'm not here to open your eyes. I don't give a damn about what you think but I do ask you - don't read my posts with everyday seriousness. I'm not writing for your "common sense" so you might like the post on Facebook.

I am writing because I am straightforward. There is nothing here to be understood. With my articles, I'm NOT trying to set you free. I'm only telling you that your life is a lie, see it for yourself. If I'm not so convincing, so what? You will continue living your wonderful life just as you did before.

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Sting hasn't missed a day of Yoga in 20 years

On October 2, 2018, will be Sting's 67 birthday. He is old but his body is the envy of men half of his age. A month ago, Sting performed a two-hour hits-filled set for a full capacity crowd on Saturday night in Boston. He has great energy. Sting and his wife of 34 years, Trudie Styler, are into Ashtanga and Jivamukti yoga. Asana, meditation and rock'n'roll are Sting's life.

Yoga has enriched my life by allowing me to improve physically; which is very inspiring, especially as you get older. I tour an awful lot, and being on the road is not always easy... Yoga is a great way to offset the downsides of touring by bringing much-needed peace and sanity into what can be a hectic life. Like music, yoga is a journey - one that is long enough so you keep developing, and keep learning. I don't see an end to it.

Every day, with his wife or alone he does between 60 and 90 minutes of yoga before breakfast. Ashtanga Yoga requires a great deal of physical and mental effort, and it wasn't long before he became hooked. In the late 1980s, bandmates introduced Sting to Danny Paradise, a musician and Ashtanga yoga instructor from Toronto.

Sting recalls that although he was fit, he couldn't do even half of the postures Paradise showed him. From that point on, Sting thought yoga was intriguing and started studying it with Paradise as his mentor. Sting was in his late 30s at this time. He has said in interviews that he wishes he started doing yoga sooner but acknowledges that he probably wouldn't have been as accepting of it when he was younger.

Today, when he's touring with his band, the entire group performs yoga before the show, which Sting believes "increases our cohesion."

It composes my mind; it gives me more energy, and, as a consequence, I find I am more productive. As a singer, I also think some aspects of yoga, such as breathing properly and eating well, are key to maintaining a healthy voice. So, yes, yoga is an important part of my creative life. I'm sure my lung capacity has also increased - I can certainly hold notes longer than I used to be able to. For me, yoga has become more than just exercise: It's about control, discipline, and emotion, and those are useful tools for any songwriter.

After Sting had his first Ashtanga yoga session with Paradise, he immediately wanted his wife, Trudie to try it with him. In the years since, they have advanced their practices considerably, both as individuals and as a couple. Sting remains close to Paradise and often takes classes with him.

Sting and Styler are also devotees of Jivamukti yoga. Jivamukti means "liberation while living." The Sanskrit term is used to describe enlightenment.

Monday, July 9, 2018

The Buddha got it wrong!!!

 I Love You My Dear

Recently, I've been leading life consciously, practicing detachment and having in mind the impermanence of things. It is a big shit, I mean this detachment thing. I mean really, no attachment to anything - it just seems plain stupid.

With honest and straightforward simplicity, I am here to disappoint you and tell you that detachment is a big bullshit.

The Buddha first introduced detachment from the world to the world. The elite rulers and bankers love this message. If you do not engage with the world, if you retreat and turn away, but pay your taxes and bills, it allows them to go on stealing from you indefinitely. You’ve taken yourself out of the world. You are not part of the conscious resistance. That is, you totally ignore your real situation and do nothing about it.

Detachment isn’t spiritual in the slightest bit. It’s maintenance of the neo-liberal hegemony of New (and Old) World Order predators and their brain-washed pawns. Detachment is anti-life and it's under the guise of having some sort of bullshit spiritual practice of “mindfulness” to "de-stress" you from your own bullshit thinking and soul-crushing jobs they subject you to.

To be alive means to desire.

Life desire to continue on, preserve, and play... play.. and the performance is all that is important, nothing else. 

Happy Birthday Honey

This post isn't going to give you the big secret to life. Do you remember, you've been told since childhood that being a grown-up is awesome. And maybe now that you're an adult, you're still waiting for the awesome part. At least I do.

I'm 53 and I'm comfortable about it. I still feel on the inside very much like a teenage boy. The fact of the matter is I don't know how to grow up, and it seems like everyone around me already has.

Take, for example, the whole thing about career. People in my age seem to be running around a more or less successful career, they think they caught God's dick, took the the opportunity, become bosses, managers, senior analysts etc. ...

The part of success is unconscious living, I mean you are spending on average one to two hours a day commuting: car, train, bus... work in the office from eight until six: watching the clock, wishing the morning away so you could go to lunch, wishing the afternoon away so you could go home. And at home, you collapse on a couch watching shitty CNN until you start snoring. The weekends are actually worse because that's when everything that didn't get done during the week had to be done. You know, the kid's stuff.

The success is related to happiness, isn't it?, however, are you satisfied?

As I observe the world I see you and you are never happy, always busy, looking, preparing for the next big thing. I'm feeling your pain, because just like you, once I was going after so many things: my career and education, creative, personal and spiritual development, my relationships, health and wellness and detachment. Just like you I had some fun once in awhile!

But I stopped and I asked myself... What is this for? I stopped running. I don't give a shit for The Buddha's detachment. I am attached to life, to living. I have time, I have desire. You have a lot to do, it is often hard for you to know what to do first. But, if you spend most of your time in one area like your career, you are out of balance, you do not have time for anything else.

You are your own greatest enemy. You doubt, complicate life, cloud your mind with unimportant thoughts and negativity, you punish yourself, hate yourself and then feel sorry for yourself because the world is making your life a living hell. Fuck it, life is tough for everyone.

I booked the second part of my vacation. I am going to Punta Cana for 10 days yoga retreat. The retreat will be in 5 star, luxury, adult only resort. I am going alone and my plan is to get completely into shape ... 86 kg with flat stomach. It is my desire to be fit. I am leaving on August 15 and my intention is to do 2 yoga practices a day, do lots of swimming and visiting a gym in the morning... no drinking this time.