The tendency of mind is to deny those things which we are afraid of, to hide those things which we don't like and we don't want others to know to hide them in a way, in such depths of the unconscious that we become unaware of them.
This is why I write this blog, I write it to tell you everything that bothers me, let me be heard.
Maybe I am naive, maybe my words are source of gossip, but who cares. This way I maintain retrospection of my life monitoring carefully my superficial personality.
RESPONSIBILITY
It is 5 am in Belrade, my wife and daughter are sleeping, I am having a coffee and thinking about everything. In just two days I am getting married. It is an excited time.
The third week in Belgrade is passing through, we are going out and meeting different people. I have introduced my wife's family. I was myself as much as circumstances allowed, I think they liked me.
I have spent a lot of time with my wife talking about our future and her concerns. Nothing is ordinary in our relationship. We have met being far away from each other. We succeeded being together these 2 years in long distance relationship and we are here today ready to say YES for living together.
That is a big thing. She is ready to leave her way of life and join me in Toronto. In her 50s she is ready to start new life. I know it is not so easy but on other hand, I am ready to change my life too, I am ready to give her the half of everything I have. It is a big sacrifice but we believe that our love will carry us happily in this world.
From early childhood instead to be taught to be responsible, we have been taught to depend. Majority of people feel life owes them something. They spend their life calculating odds, what is better what is more profitable and they lead life depending on things and other people. There is no responsibility for their actions there is just greed for new and ever new acquisitions.
SELFISHNESS
In 2 days, my wedding ring will remind me about my responsibility for our small family. I will start to be very selfish for us, maintaining and guarding our happiness and prosperity.
We need to grow up as a family but also as individuals. Let me repeat it, we need to be selfish.
The word "selfishness" has been condemned so much that there is every possibility you will misunderstand me. To be selfish simply means to be responsible and take care of what we really are.
In being selfish we will find freedom in our life together that we have been seeking, seeking for so long and finally finding.
MARRIAGE
Marriage is an institution, just a social construct. Getting attached legally to a woman, is not for everyone because not every relationship riches a culmination of love - the desire to be and live together.
Most people should get divorced. People should meet and love each other, with passion or not at all.
There should be no ugly state when a wife has to make love to a man whom she does not love anymore, but she has to fulfill her duty. The husband is fulfilling his duty while he is making love to his wife he may be thinking of some other woman, she may be thinking of some other man.
What kind of marriage is this? If you don't love each other at least be honest and say frankly that it was beautiful to be together, but it is finished. Say goodbye.
I would like bad marriage to disappear completely from this world, and with it the divorce will disappear. With marriage, almost 99% of the work of psychoanalysts, therapists, psychiatrists will disappear. It is a bad marriage that is creating all kinds of psychological perversions, repressions, guilt.
But people are afraid of selfishness and individuality; couples destroy each other, and they hope that by destroying each other, their lives will become a contentment, a fulfillment. They simply become more and more miserable.
LOVE
You love a woman and with all your hearth but in the same time comes fear: she may leave you, she has already left somebody and come to you. That's already happened; perhaps she will do the same to you.
There is fear, you feel pain in the stomach. You are too much attached. You cannot get a simple fact: you have come alone in the world; you have been here yesterday also, without this woman, perfectly well, without any pain in the stomach.
And tomorrow if this woman goes... what is the need of the pain? You know how to be without her and you will be able to be without her.
People fear things that may change their everyday life.... Those fears are so irrational, somebody may die, we may go bankrupt, our job may be taken away. There are a thousand and one things which may change. But we are burdened with fears and fears, and none of them are valid because yesterday also we were full of all these fears, unnecessarily.
And what is the love? It is nothing, a word; We really don't know what love is. To know anything, we have to begin with ourselves and then find truth, freedom and joy in company of other person.
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