Your egocentric existence

Your “self” is an artificial creation. It's your egocentric story of "I-me" that has unraveled in this life just like toilet paper stuck to your ass on your way out the lavatory. 

The thoughts that arise in your head are not "you," no matter how strenuously you insist on identifying with them. It is a shame that you find a comfort in the 'story' of what you think you are.

You were born to parents you did not choose (and who did not choose "you") and received genetic programming you had no capacity to reject. You had no choice when or where you were born, nor in the culture or society through which you collected beliefs that you 'think' now define you, based on the customs, traditions and values.

Within your early childhood, from birth to 5yrs, you had no choice in what experiences impacted and shaped your brain. Yet, those experiences and responses define you continually, even now. As a result, every choice you have made up to this day, came from a mind shaped completely outside your free-will. 

From the birth to 5 you had no free will, you were redirected through positive and negative reinforcement (punishment and reward schedule) to conform to specific behavior.

Therefore, every action you engage in, and have ever engaged in, is completely spontaneous. Not a single action belongs to “you,” but belongs to a force of causation you have yet to understand. Some never understood it. The understanding is also beyond your control.

Spontaneous thoughts lead to spontaneous actions and not one thought have you ever willed to think as you did. 

Next time you think you have involved your 'self' over some situation, person or event, recognize that this is exactly what you should be doing, and how you should be, in the very moment it is being done. In addition, if that involvement causes you to do something different, allow that to be done as well.

Spontaneous living is always happening. But egocentrics as you are, you are reluctant to accept what you do not want, thinking it should not be as it is. Yet, spontaneity does not subscribe to your decisions on what is “good” or “bad," but merely happens outside any willpower you struggle to impose to make it otherwise.

You may not like how your life is now but, make no mistake, it is exactly as it supposed to be and could not be any different and will never be any different than it is in this very moment...and then the next.

You never really seem to get what you want exactly the way you want it. 

Things never seem to happen exactly as planned. 

Nevertheless, what you now want, what you now desire for your life, was initially formulated in childhood based on conditions outside your control. Your 'self' is shaped through external events and situations you had no control in and that you were programmed to respond to as you did.

The only freedom that will ever be experienced throughout your entire egocentric existence is the experience of no 'self', because it is an acceptance of who-you-really-are.

Everything, good or bad, has happened exactly as it must. 

Suffering is a product of rejection in the attempt to thwart the flow of life; to make it go in some other direction, as willed by a programmed organism that really has no idea of who or what it is.

You cannot remove yourself from the universe that allowed you to be in the universe. But the universe can and will remove you, no matter how hard you protest it should be otherwise. 

It has been directing your course since the moment of conception, because it allows for life to be experienced by you exactly as you now experience it. Because “you” have never been separate from the universe, what you experience, it experiences, what it experiences, you experience.

Unfortunately, this tends to negate that "you" even exist at all.

Think along these lines long enough to eventually experience something different than your egocentric existence.

But don't try too hard...