“Self” is an artificial creation. It's a story of "I-me"
that has unraveled in life just like toilet paper stuck to your ass on
the way out the washroom.
The thoughts that arise in your head are not "you," no matter how strenuously
you insist on identifying with them. It is a shame that you find a comfort in
the 'story' of what you think you are.
You were born to parents you did not choose (and who did not choose "you") and
received social programming you had no capacity to reject. You had no choice
when or where you were born, nor in the culture or society through which you
collected beliefs that you 'think' now define you, based on the customs,
traditions and values.
Within your early childhood, from birth to 5yrs, you had no choice in what
experiences impacted and shaped your brain. Yet, those experiences and
responses define you continually, even now. As a result, every choice you have
made up to this day, came from a mind shaped completely outside your
free-will.
From the birth to 5 you had no free will, you were redirected through positive
and negative reinforcement (punishment and reward schedule) to conform to
specific behavior.
Therefore, every action you engage in, and have ever engaged in, is completely
spontaneous. Not a single action belongs to “you,” but belongs to a force of
causation you have yet to understand. Probably you'll never understood it. The
understanding is also beyond your control.
Spontaneous thoughts lead to spontaneous actions and not one thought have you
ever willed to think as you did.
Next time you think you have involved your 'self' over some situation, person
or event, recognize that this is exactly what you should be doing, and how you
should be, in the very moment it is being done. In addition, if that
involvement causes you to do something different, allow that to be done as
well.
Spontaneous living is happening. But egocentric as you are, you are
reluctant to accept what you do not want, thinking it should not be as it is.
Yet, spontaneity does not look at your decisions, what is “good” or
“bad," but merely happens outside you who struggle to impose and make
it otherwise.
You may not like how your life is now but, make no mistake, it is exactly as
it supposed to be and could not be any different and will never be any
different than it is in this very moment...and then the next.
You never really seem to get what you want exactly the way you want it.
Things never seem to happen exactly as planned.
Nevertheless, what you now want, what you now desire for your life, was formulated in childhood based on conditions outside your control, remember?
Suffering is a product of rejection in the attempt to thwart the flow of life;
to make it go in some other direction, as willed by you who really has no idea of what it is.
You cannot remove yourself from the universe that allowed you to be in the
universe. But the universe can and will remove you, no matter how hard you
protest it should be otherwise.
It has been directing your course since the moment of conception, because it
allows for life to be experienced by you exactly as you now experience it.
Because “you” have never been separate from the universe, what you experience,
it experiences, what it experiences, you experience.
Unfortunately, this tends to negate that "you" even exist at all.
Think along these lines long enough to eventually experience something
different than your egocentric existence.
But don't try too hard.
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