The Biggest Embarrassment of My Life

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit. ~ John 3:8

My dear friends, tonight I'm going to write an entertaining post, the post about the biggest embarrassment in my life. That was I thought, it was an embarrassment, but now, when I look at that 18 years later, I think it was a play of Spirit.

You now the Spirit, the parental force of the universe that moves things around us, that puts us in difficulties, that takes us out of troubles and do many other things with us.

Did you ever recognized the play of Spirit in your life? Think about it, probably you do.

Here we go with my story.

It was May 2006. It was 4 years since I started my self-realization journey. I was reading a lot studying spiritual literature doing mediation and yoga. I was 100% focused on my spiritual path. I cut my friends, I did not go out, I was reading and reading doing zazen, practicing self-observation, self-remembrance and many other things.

In the beginning of 2006 I started doing yoga. I was a serious student of yoga and I went to local yoga studio for classes. That May was a huge Yoga Conference in Toronto. I selected 2 classes to attend. The both classes were with a long time yogi Dharma Mittra.

The first class was on Friday, the Yoga Flow with music and the second class was on Saturday, Yoga Purification, which is about ancient yoga cleansing techniques. These techniques were taught by the teacher Dharma Mittra. He has introduced these ancient yogis techniques to the West, not only for health purposes but also to reach higher states of meditation.

I was so excited to attend these classes. The first class Yoga Flow was amazing, it fulfilled my expectations. It was difficult, a lots of modifications of basic sun salutations, the Hare Krishna music was loud, it was an incredible experience. On the end, after almost 2 hours, I was so tired, I could see the flashes of light around and inside my head in shavasana.

I felt great and I was eager to came on Saturday to learn about mystic yoga techniques.

The class started with yoga sun salutations, a little stretching standing poses, for some 15 minutes and then teacher Dharma MIttra called us that we sit down around him. It was around 50 to 80 yoga students, I cannot exactly say how many but a lot.

Dharma Mittra was teaching us about importance of yoga. He said that yoga is not just physical practice of asanas but much more. Yoga includes observances, rules, and guidelines for leading daily life. He read from Yoga Sutra scriptures that describes five different tings in yoga life-style: cleanliness, contentment, self-discipline, self-reflection, a will surrendering to a higher power.

It was quite interesting and I was listening carefully. Suddenly I felt someone pushes my ribs with a folded peace of paper. I was a bit disoriented I got the paper and open it, on there it was written: Jennifer, f*ck me, and a telephone number. I was stunned. I turned around, a nice looking 30-something blond in orange top and yoga paints was smiling on me. She was beautiful looking young woman.

I was confused, I turned around my head facing teacher Dharma but my body reacted. I got aroused having hard on, yup, high up in the air.

I could hear the teachers words that we should cultivate sexual energy, change our habits for healthy living and make our life meaningful, the 'spiritual existence' as he said... while I had the erection of my life, I could see in the corner of my eye the gorgeous woman in orange.

I thought then that everyone saw what is happening. I was red, confused, even angry. Why this happened? Why then and there? I don't know even to this day. I got up, I did not care if anyone see my hard on.

I left the class, quickly dressed up and went home. I was disappointed in myself, in spirituality, I was angry, so angry. On my way home, I ripped off that peace of paper. Oh my god, how many times I regretted that.